How to separate and maybe divorce

149 posts in this topic

3 minutes ago, cfnm said:

it was her plan to have or second children (we ended up with twins)  She forced me into it

:huh: How exactly? At gunpoint? 

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5 minutes ago, cfnm said:

 

 

My wife is in fact a potential high earner. But, she choose the current option so that she can spend more time with children. Also it was her plan to have or second children (we ended up with twins). She forced me into it, and she knew that the chances of me leaving her will be less with more children. Also, she refuses for separation and keeps telling me that we will end up with messy situation. She knows very well she can drag it as long as possible.

 

She forced you into having another child or twins? How does that work?😟

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28 minutes ago, cfnm said:

 

 

My wife is in fact a potential high earner. But, she choose the current option so that she can spend more time with children. Also it was her plan to have or second children (we ended up with twins). She forced me into it, and she knew that the chances of me leaving her will be less with more children. Also, she refuses for separation and keeps telling me that we will end up with messy situation. She knows very well she can drag it as long as possible.

 

Are you actually talking to each other?

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43 minutes ago, lunaCH said:

:huh: How exactly? At gunpoint? 

Good idea for a thread😂.

Looking back.. where was one’s child or the subsequent ones conceived?

Looking back 33 years or so ago.. might have been in the shower!😀

Can’t remember! 
( Or the bathtub?)

I think we had one back then!

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4 hours ago, cfnm said:

Thanks. What was not clear was, how does the financial support  from my side would look like during the separation period before divorce. Is based on the dusseldorfer table or it sarts after the divorce.

 

Once you move out, she can apply for trennungsunterhalt.  She will get that as long as you are separated but not yet divorced.  They will add both your incomes and she is supposed to get 3/7 of the total.  I have no idea how child support comes into that, if it's 3/7 after child support is subtracted or not.  You need a good lawyer.

 

When you divorce, it will be decided if you pay alimony, how much and for how long.  According to the Düsseldorfer Tabelle, you should be left with at least a certain amount to support yourself.  If the kids are under 3, the courts will not expect your wife to work at all.  Until the kids are old enough to be home alone, she might not be expected to work full time.  This is German society so not much you can do about it, except get a good lawyer.

 

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4 hours ago, cfnm said:

My wife is in fact a potential high earner. But, she choose the current option so that she can spend more time with children. Also it was her plan to have or second children (we ended up with twins). She forced me into it, and she knew that the chances of me leaving her will be less with more children. Also, she refuses for separation and keeps telling me that we will end up with messy situation. She knows very well she can drag it as long as possible.

 

It is not relevant whether you wanted the children or not.  The children are here now and have the right to support from both parents.

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10 hours ago, cfnm said:

her plan to have or second children (we ended up with twins). She forced me into it

 

10 hours ago, lunaCH said:

:huh: How exactly? At gunpoint? 

 

9 hours ago, john g. said:

Good idea for a thread

 

 The term 'forced' seems to have been used liberally. Its a strong term here in the case of twins being the result. She forced him into playing a round of hide the purple parsnip? :unsure: It can happen - but I doubt it in this case. 

 

9 hours ago, john g. said:

Looking back

Here we go again ! :lol: 

 

9 hours ago, john g. said:

( Or the bathtub?) I think we had one back then!

Aye, those were the days. :) 

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In modern discussions around sexual politics it is quite normal to consider things other than physical force.

Emotional blackmail, gaslighting, financial coercion, leveraging a persons legal and visa status, there are lots of ways to 'Force' someone to have another child.

It really doesn't help anyone to speculate on that part of the OP's story though, because the courts won't care.

 

The only thing important is exactly as LeonG says, the kids are here and have the right to the support of both parents.

 

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17 hours ago, LeonG said:
21 hours ago, cfnm said:

My wife is in fact a potential high earner. But, she choose the current option so that she can spend more time with children. Also it was her plan to have or second children (we ended up with twins). She forced me into it, and she knew that the chances of me leaving her will be less with more children. Also, she refuses for separation and keeps telling me that we will end up with messy situation. She knows very well she can drag it as long as possible.

 

It is not relevant whether you wanted the children or not.  The children are here now and have the right to support from both paren

 

Thanks for the information. I do intent to support. I just wanted to know how this works legally.

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