Kita and breakfast

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Normally, my daughter eats her breakfast at home and I drop her off at the Kita at 8:30. Today, one of the boys had a birthday breakfast - we were told to drop her at Kita without giving her breakfast beforehand. I did this. Unfortunately, she was a crying at drop off(post Christmas, we are still getting back into the routine.). When I collected her, she was a little subdued and on the way home, she got upset again - she explained that because she had been crying this morning, she had been put into the duplo corner alone and by the time she had recovered, the breakfast had been cleared away. She had to go hungry until lunchtime.

 

I would be interested to hear other people's views on this - I understand the Kita has a normal daily schedule but denying my daughter food meant she had nothing to eat from 6pm the previous night - 18 hrs. 

 

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5 minutes ago, pmd said:

Normally, my daughter eats her breakfast at home and I drop her off at the Kita at 8:30. Today, one of the boys had a birthday breakfast - we were told to drop her at Kita without giving her breakfast beforehand. I did this. Unfortunately, she was a crying at drop off(post Christmas, we are still getting back into the routine.). When I collected her, she was a little subdued and on the way home, she got upset again - she explained that because she had been crying this morning, she had been put into the duplo corner alone and by the time she had recovered, the breakfast had been cleared away. She had to go hungry until lunchtime.

 

I would be interested to hear other people's views on this - I understand the Kita has a normal daily schedule but denying my daughter food meant she had nothing to eat from 6pm the previous night - 18 hrs. 

 

 

When I drop my kid off, I always make sure she has eaten something before regardless of what anyone else says. 

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1 minute ago, RenegadeFurther said:

 

When I drop my kid off, I always make sure she has eaten something before regardless of what anyone says. 

 

Yes,  lesson learned - last time we ever do this again.

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My guess is the staff had forgotten that they had told you not to give her breakfast. I can't believe they deliberately starved her.

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14 minutes ago, jeba said:

My guess is the staff had forgotten that they had told you not to give her breakfast. I can't believe they deliberately starved her.

I'll find out tomorrow when I ask the Erzieherin..

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I agree with RenegadeF, when my children were in Kindergarten and in primary school, I always gave them breakfast at home, no matter what was going on outside.  I also wouldn't have liked it if my child had been put into a corner alone long enough for all the other children to have breakfast and for the breakfast to be cleared up, that doesn't sound right to me at all.

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Also agree with @RenegadeFurther - we always give the kids a small breakfast at home (just a bowl of cereal or some toast) in case they don't bother eating at school/kindergarten. It's doesn't sound normal to send a crying child to the corner though - is it possible your daughter just took herself to a quiet area, and missed breakfast? That could easily happen. Definitely worth checking with the Erzieherin.

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Yeah, I would check first with the teachers. I find it hard to believe they didn't give breakfast to all the kids. Usually, they all sit together, say a blessing or such and then eat, especially if it was a birthday.

 

But same here, ours always gets breakfast at home. If I know it is a special occasion at kindergarten, I give him a little less to eat.

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Have to agree with everyone else on this - not even I go out of the house without something in my stomach, let alone Shorty!!!

The metabolism gets used to a particular rhythm, and we tend to get cranky if the metabolism gets knocked out of sink.

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Thanks for all the replies. Some good advice.

 

Update: My (German) wife will come with me tomorrow and we will hear what the Erziecherin has to say. Maybe after the initial tears, our daughter was in a huff and if so, it is fair enough they allowed her to play alone. What is a no-go however was not informing me of the situation when I collected her. It shouldn't be down to a not yet 3 year old to tell me that she didn't have any breakfast in Kita.

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We went with our daughter to the Kita and while I got her ready, my wife spoke to the Erzieherin: my daughter had cried, they put her in the corner to calm down and despite repeated requests to join them, my daughter stayed in the corner until breakfast was finished. So that was fair enough. Like I said, what was not acceptable was the Erzieherin had not told me and what made it worse this morning was she didn't apologise. In fact, she claimed that I always take too long to say goodbye to my daughter (untrue) and I unsettle her.

 

When we got home, we were dissatisfied with how things had gone. My wife rang the vice head of the Kita and outlined what had happened. The senior Erzieherin  said that actually my daughter should have had some breakfast saved for her. We have arranged a further meeting. Unfortunately my wife has lost trust in my daughter's Erzieherin and wants her moved to another group.

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Glad it wasn't quite as bad as it seemed, but I think you are right to want to move groups. I'm still not convinced that putting a crying child in the corner to calm down is necessarily the best approach. When my youngest son used to get upset, the Erzieherin just gave him a hug and took him by the hand so that he could wave goodbye from the window - that worked too...and never results in a missed breakfast.

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15 minutes ago, dstanners said:

Glad it wasn't quite as bad as it seemed, but I think you are right to want to move groups. I'm still not convinced that putting a crying child in the corner to calm down is necessarily the best approach. When my youngest son used to get upset, the Erzieherin just gave him a hug and took him by the hand so that he could wave goodbye from the window - that worked too...and never results in a missed breakfast.

 

Our  Erzieherin is definitely not a hugger and not much of a smiler, unfortunately (why work with children then?). It's such a pity because the rest of the staff are lovely, especially the head. 

 

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2 hours ago, pmd said:

We went with our daughter to the Kita and while I got her ready, my wife spoke to the Erzieherin: my daughter had cried, they put her in the corner to calm down and despite repeated requests to join them, my daughter stayed in the corner until breakfast was finished. So that was fair enough. Like I said, what was not acceptable was the Erzieherin had not told me and what made it worse this morning was she didn't apologise. In fact, she claimed that I always take too long to say goodbye to my daughter (untrue) and I unsettle her.

 

The Erzieherin forgot to tell you something that happened a few hours before you picked your daughter up.  I don't think that this is a good reason to move Kitas.   I have worked in Kindergartens and to be honest, it is entirely possible I would have neglected to tell the parents that their kid had a tantrum and wouldn't eat breakfast - particularly if it was another member of staff that was doing the hand-off at the end of the day. However, the fact you are don't trust the person who cares for your kid is enough of a reason to find an alternative.

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They are just hoping to switch groups within the kita, so not such a big deal.

 

I think what happened is merely unfortunate, but that is beside the point if your wife is unhappy and it is possible to move your daughter, you may as well. 

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If it only happened once, make sure they realize it was upsetting but don't panic.

 

Just realize this is the way life generally is here; Germans very often make apparently consistent plans which quickly turn out to have a million exceptions / ad hoc changes.

 

if it happens twice get angry then. They should get the point if you complain firmly but politely the first time.

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Kids are crying at goodbyes all the time in our Kita, the Erzieherin will let them vent for a short while and then distract them until they forget about their woes. I honestly never had the time to give proper breakfast at home because we’re always rushing in the morning, but my children have never, ever missed breakfast in the Kita. There was once a time when we came towards the end of the breakfast time, i.e. really late, but they still saved some things for my kids to eat. 

So comparing that to this case, putting the kid in a corner when she cried for a long period of time and letting her not having her breakfast indeed show the Erzieherin’s incompetence. It’s good that you speak up as parents, and not let this slide. They probably don’t realise how badly they did if no one points that out. 

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6 hours ago, sos-the-rope said:

If it only happened once, make sure they realize it was upsetting but don't panic...

 

I agree, I really wouldn't panic, in fact I think you might be overreacting  by demanding your kid be moved to a new class. That would probably be more traumatic than your kid not getting breakfast on one morning. If that's the only thing, then I would really let it go.That she didn't apologize isn't a surprise either. That's simply German behavior. That she forgot to tell you, is also somewhat understandable. So many things happen in kindergarten, maybe she didn't think it was as necessary to tell as if, for example, your kid tripped and fell and badly bruised their shin or bumped their head. Also, and what's common in our kindergarten, the main teacher might leave early without telling the remaining ones every detail of each kid of the day. It's an unfortunate situation, don't get me wrong, but in the grand scheme of things it's just a breakfast.

 

BTW, kids at our kindergarten have to bring their own breakfast and an afternoon snack. Ours eats at home and I pack the little one snack for the afternoon.

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44 minutes ago, Elfenstar said:

 

I agree, I really wouldn't panic, in fact I think you might be overreacting  by demanding your kid be moved to a new class. That would probably be more traumatic than your kid not getting breakfast on one morning. If that's the only thing, then I would really let it go.

 

Thanks for the further replies.

 

My wife spoke with the Kita Leiterin this morning. She thanked us for raising our concerns..she said basically what you have written Elfenstar: we monitor how my daughter is for the next few weeks but hopefully she gets more settled again with this Erzieherin and the group. My wife is better with the situation after talking to her so that is positive.

 

I think the underlying issue is my daughter is bored in this group. She is nearly 3 and it is a 3 month to 3 year old group. There is a boy her own age but the other children are a lot younger.  Today I asked her who she played with and she said Robbie (her imaginary seal friend) which made me feel sad. 

 

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