Newcomer, confused and barely know what to do

68 posts in this topic

Hi people, im new here.

So i have been in Germany for around 3 months now.

 

I come here to be with my german guy, we are married for 2 months. First month here we spent going around offices and prepared for the wedding. After it, i need to wait like a month + for my residence permit, that allowed me to stay and work.

 

So soon after i had received the paper, i started looking for a job, Things havent gone well. I emailed a bunch of places, got only one interview at the meat bar in Edeka, but my German wasnt enough for selling  or having the knowledge of Germany sausages, cheese, food in general, so i end up not getting the job,. I was disapointed. Now i am making job hunt again, but finding it to be difficult because everything in Arbeitsamts website are throught Vermittlung company and require a Gutschein.  

 

 

A little back ground : I am 20 years old from an Asian country and my guy is german, 22 years old, We were relationship for 2-3 years before we got married. Hes employed with a good and stable job, our relationship is good. He is supportive to me, but you know, there are things, he cant help.

 

I had finished highschool in my country, was in University, but i lost interest so i kinda ditched it and start working. And because we plan for me  to move here, i dropped out. I plan to start an Ausbildung and maybe later continue study but i came this year late, so i need to wait till end of this year to start. I would like to study in the direction of a Steuerfachangestelle, Can anyone can give me an input if this is an ok choice or there is no chance to compete with local Germans?

 

I have been learning German on my own, i would say my level would be around B1, base on the test i did in the internet with Goethe sample test, but i found myself dont understand the people alot of the time. I am starting to do the intergration couse but i found the speed to be so slow. At this rate, i am not even sure if before this year Ausbildung start i can actually get a chance with my german.

 

Im also doing driving school, my driving skill sucks, keep having problem with the clutch, and i found myself to be distracted alot with all the signs, the arrows, the cars, the snow covered-street doesnt help any bit.

 

The weather sucks.  Its cold as hell. No doubt Germany is so beautiful, especially in winter, it look like some fairy tales comes true, but  in my country its always summer. Since im here i have been sick 3,4 times ,and one time i needed to stay in hospital for a week. My home city has around 10m people, but where i live now has around 4000, it feels so empty. 

 

I am not even used to the food here to be honest,

 

When i was at home, i didnt even need to cook( sound spoiled, i know)  .Now i need to do everything on my own,

 

I feel so overwhelmed.  And got no idea what to do. Everything hit me all at once, that i starting from the bottom, with all the difficulties and uncertainies lie ahead. 

 

Any input would be so appreciated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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If your husband earns enough to support both of you, I'd suggest taking a couple of years to really learn German well- this will make things much easier for you in the long run.

 

Steuerfachangestellen don't make that much money, and the language demands are quite high, so, IMHO, it is best avoided. Just focus on improving your language skills and start thinking about an Ausbildung or university study once you reach C1. 

 

You should spend a little time with other Vietnamese, but not so much that you're not working on your German. Your English appears to be quite good, so I think you'll be able to learn German as well- just learn a bit each day, keep a positive attitude, and think long term. 

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49 minutes ago, Conquistador said:

If your husband earns enough to support both of you, I'd suggest taking a couple of years to really learn German well- this will make things much easier for you in the long run.

 

Steuerfachangestellen don't make that much money, and the language demands are quite high, so, IMHO, it is best avoided. Just focus on improving your language skills and start thinking about an Ausbildung or university study once you reach C1. 

 

You should spend a little time with other Vietnamese, but not so much that you're not working on your German. Your English appears to be quite good, so I think you'll be able to learn German as well- just learn a bit each day, keep a positive attitude, and think long term. 

 

 

Hi,

Yes i know i need to improve German, but i always feel like i am always under time pressure.

I feel like i  need to do a,b,c,d and get done with it or i will die tomorrow.

My husband earns but i dont really want to depend on him as much longer, i feel weird about it. I do not know or being in contact with any Vietnamese around my places. I spent most of the time reading, like an anti-social:D.

 

I wonder how much time average for a young immigrant to be able to settle down? 

And one more question if you dont mind, why you said steuerfachangestelle dont get pay well? According to what i read, it an good paying job with job security, Maybe im just wrong, i dont know. 

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Hello Diding,

 

Smile a bit, there is a lot working out for you and you will have the life you wish for in no time. Just a bit of patience maybe. It really will be better.

 

I'm a non-EU national and my BF is German, but after some research here, I have decided that Germany is not the best place for us because of his employment/rental work etc situation. I have understood that the most important thing is to have a stable income that keep us out of the social help for the family unity. You already have this, so you have the most important thing, the foundation sorted out. The rest will come in no time. 

 

I know it's difficult when we feel like we have to be "looked after". We don't want to be a "burden" on anyone, achieve as much as we can as quickly as we can. But it is OK to be supported by our spouses when we go to a new country, when we are getting used to things. Imagine him in your country and getting used to a new life and imagine you have a job in your country. You would be OK with him going to a language school, getting used to life and all those things, wouldn't you? It's the same thing. You are not being a burden on him or anything. You took a big step so that you two could be together and he knows that. Relax and take small steps. 

 

You also have a good level of German. In the Common European Framework standards, you can do a lot with B1 actually. It is a good level. For many universities, the entrance requirement is B2 and (you can also find programmes that teach in English). You say you need to get used to every day language a bit, but give yourself some time and you will see how things come together. Shortly, do not underestimate your B level, that Goethe test is a good test:))) 

 

If, for some reason, your uni plans are hindered in Germany, you can try Open University online programmes based in the UK. They accept mature students and many others. Germany recognizes Open University diplomas - and they have lots of courses. I don't know about the recognition of certificate programmes but you may look into that as well. This is private education but is relatively affordable - most degree programmes cost around 600 euro a month and you can afford it partially with a mini-job maybe.

 

Maybe volunteering would help you meet people who share your interests and with whom you could speak a lot of German. 

 

I know the weather sucks - I never knew how important sunshine is for me before I lived in Europe. It made me depressed once; together with the wind and the cold, I felt like hybernating would be the best option for me. Some Phillips light bulbs that offer sunshine akin to real sunshine really improved my mood - you can set them to a time before you wake up, and you wake up happier:)) 

 

And it really feels empty, doesn't it? I come from a city of 18 million and I don't know if I would ever be able to get used to where my BF is from. But it's a great place for improving photography skills. Maybe some weekend escapes to cities? Germany offers a lot. 

 

Some uncertainty is expected during the first months, but your situation is safe - financially- and that is very important. You can improve other aspects of your life. This may not be as fast as you want but I don't think it will be as slow as you think at the moment, either.  Remeber to be kind to yourself. 

 

I hope everything works out for you. 

 

 

 

 

 

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I did a quick search-there is a German-British club in Chemnitz.   Also check TT search function.   AS you speak English, these groups may help you with meeting others.    

Take the integration course. You will meet other newcomers, and   make you realise you are not alone.

It is hard to make a major move. It all takes time,  and  no-one expects you to be word perfect.

Your partner is supportive, so relax, enjoy the winter. Wrap up, take a walk,  go and have a hot chocolate in local café.

Good luck.

 

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Definitely take the integration course.  You may be able to jump into the middle of one if you have some skills already.  You will get out of the house, keep yourself busy and meet people.  Once you have B1, you have something to show to people if they doubt your English.  Once you are done B1, you can go for B2.  Where I live, B2 is only offered as an evening course twice a week so it takes a whole winter to complete it.  If that's the case where you live too,  maybe you can get it done faster if you can get a day time every day in a bigger town nearby.

 

If you do want to work right now, at least to make a little money, what I did in order to get a job when I came here was zeitarbeit.  Much hated by many Germans, it basically just means you work for an agency and they send you places.  You could have a part time job like that or a full time.  You could be cleaning, helping out in a warehouse or factory or whatever.  It's not really a future plan though but it's a job you can get with a low level of German.

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You did get an appointment at the Jugendmigrationsdienst (= JMD), i.e. the one for people under 27?

 

It's very important that you are pro-active in all this, you have to find the motivation within yourself to succeed in Germany, or you risk ending up like Fiona: 

and here's the conclusion to her story: 

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1 hour ago, zeino said:

Hello Diding,

 

Smile a bit, there is a lot working out for you and you will have the life you wish for in no time. Just a bit of patience maybe. It really will be better.

 

I'm a non-EU national and my BF is German, but after some research here, I have decided that Germany is not the best place for us because of his employment/rental work etc situation. I have understood that the most important thing is to have a stable income that keep us out of the social help for the family unity. You already have this, so you have the most important thing, the foundation sorted out. The rest will come in no time. 

 

I know it's difficult when we feel like we have to be "looked after". We don't want to be a "burden" on anyone, achieve as much as we can as quickly as we can. But it is OK to be supported by our spouses when we go to a new country, when we are getting used to things. Imagine him in your country and getting used to a new life and imagine you have a job in your country. You would be OK with him going to a language school, getting used to life and all those things, wouldn't you? It's the same thing. You are not being a burden on him or anything. You took a big step so that you two could be together and he knows that. Relax and take small steps. 

 

You also have a good level of German. In the Common European Framework standards, you can do a lot with B1 actually. It is a good level. For many universities, the entrance requirement is B2 and (you can also find programmes that teach in English). You say you need to get used to every day language a bit, but give yourself some time and you will see how things come together. Shortly, do not underestimate your B level, that Goethe test is a good test:))) 

 

If, for some reason, your uni plans are hindered in Germany, you can try Open University online programmes based in the UK. They accept mature students and many others. Germany recognizes Open University diplomas - and they have lots of courses. I don't know about the recognition of certificate programmes but you may look into that as well. This is private education but is relatively affordable - most degree programmes cost around 600 euro a month and you can afford it partially with a mini-job maybe.

 

Maybe volunteering would help you meet people who share your interests and with whom you could speak a lot of German. 

 

I know the weather sucks - I never knew how important sunshine is for me before I lived in Europe. It made me depressed once; together with the wind and the cold, I felt like hybernating would be the best option for me. Some Phillips light bulbs that offer sunshine akin to real sunshine really improved my mood - you can set them to a time before you wake up, and you wake up happier:)) 

 

And it really feels empty, doesn't it? I come from a city of 18 million and I don't know if I would ever be able to get used to where my BF is from. But it's a great place for improving photography skills. Maybe some weekend escapes to cities? Germany offers a lot. 

 

Some uncertainty is expected during the first months, but your situation is safe - financially- and that is very important. You can improve other aspects of your life. This may not be as fast as you want but I don't think it will be as slow as you think at the moment, either.  Remeber to be kind to yourself. 

 

I hope everything works out for you. 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks so much for your reply,

You really understand how i feel lol. I think our backgrounds are abit similar. Are you still living in Germany? Since you said base on your research Germany isnt the best place for you and your boyfriend

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31 minutes ago, PandaMunich said:

You did get an appointment at the Jugendmigrationsdienst (= JMD), i.e. the one for people under 27?

 

It's very important that you are pro-active in all this, you have to find the motivation within yourself to succeed in Germany, or you risk ending up like Fiona: 

and here's the conclusion to her story: 

Hi,

I have read alot of threads here in Toytown but somehow i didnt manage to find these. 

I have read through. What happened to her was unfortunate.

And for me, i have made the termin with the lady at JDM this Wednesday. I have trying to be proactive since im here. Im scared to have a dead-end life. Doesnt need to be rich. Just meaningful. So im trying to do all i can. But honestly, Germany is tough to deal with

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59 minutes ago, LeonG said:

Definitely take the integration course.  You may be able to jump into the middle of one if you have some skills already.  You will get out of the house, keep yourself busy and meet people.  Once you have B1, you have something to show to people if they doubt your English.  Once you are done B1, you can go for B2.  Where I live, B2 is only offered as an evening course twice a week so it takes a whole winter to complete it.  If that's the case where you live too,  maybe you can get it done faster if you can get a day time every day in a bigger town nearby.

 

If you do want to work right now, at least to make a little money, what I did in order to get a job when I came here was zeitarbeit.  Much hated by many Germans, it basically just means you work for an agency and they send you places.  You could have a part time job like that or a full time.  You could be cleaning, helping out in a warehouse or factory or whatever.  It's not really a future plan though but it's a job you can get with a low level of German.

Thanks. I have heard about this through my father-in-law. He said he was a zeitarbeiter before the company really took him in. He doesnt like it. But it was okay. He was in construction work, but had injury and need to change career. So it wasnt easy for him to find work i guess.

 

But i wonder is there anyway to get a decent job without going through agency later? I mean why jobs with an ausbildung or some higher qualification dont get through agency like menial jobs? 

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13 minutes ago, diding said:

Thanks. I have heard about this through my father-in-law. He said he was a zeitarbeiter before the company really took him in. He doesnt like it. But it was okay. He was in construction work, but had injury and need to change career. So it wasnt easy for him to find work i guess.

 

But i wonder is there anyway to get a decent job without going through agency later? I mean why jobs with an ausbildung or some higher qualification dont get through agency like menial jobs? 

 

You can also get jobs with higher qualifications through an agency but they will often require you to speak German unless you are so highly skilled that no Germans or German speakers can be found for those jobs.

 

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8 hours ago, diding said:

Thanks,

I have an appointment this Wednesday with them, 

I hope they will be helpful

That is great! Let us know what they advise you. Ask them if they can recommend a faster paced German course for you as well. 

 

8 hours ago, diding said:

Yes i know i need to improve German, but i always feel like i am always under time pressure.

I feel like i  need to do a,b,c,d and get done with it or i will die tomorrow.

My husband earns but i dont really want to depend on him as much longer, i feel weird about it.

 

Consider it an investment in the future. You need much better German language skills if you want to work in the area of German taxes.  

 

If you are interested in taxes, you could also study BWL then become a Steuerberater. There are many different options! 

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Hello @diding, welcome to TT. 

 

Unfortunately TT`s solution to every problem is learn German,

 

There is about 1 zillion newcomers in Germany all learning German, if you want to stand out from the crowd you need a skill set that the economy needs.

 

With the current situation now in Germany, learning German is not enough. 

 

 

 

 

 

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10 minutes ago, RenegadeFurther said:

There is about 1 zillion newcomers in Germany all learning German, if you want to stand out from the crowd you need a skill set that the economy needs.

With the current situation now in Germany, learning German is not enough. 

 

No, German is not enough. However,  it is the first step. In order to learn a skill the economy needs, she needs further training. To complete further training, she needs German. 

 

Or can you suggest quality courses offered in English in Chemnitz? 

 

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The thing is, Renegade, a high level of German opens up the following:

 

1) The ability to enter free or inexpensive training and educational programs taught in German

2) It makes socializing in all contexts easier and opens up employment possibilities in small and medium-sized companies

3) A reduction in stress levels/feelings of alienation

 

Although I have the utmost respect for the UK's Open University (I've studied with them, and they are great!), take a look at the price tag for Fern Uni Hagen. 

 

EDIT: This graph  gives you an idea of how much Steuerfachangestellten earn. 

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4 minutes ago, RenegadeFurther said:

 

First of all, I said quality courses. The TUC degrees offered in English are not really that great. 

 

Furthermore, she said she was interested in taxes; there are no undergraduate degrees in business offered in English. 

 

More importantly, she is from Vietnam and will most likely need to attend Studienkolleg first (which is in German).

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"I had finished highschool in my country, was in University, but i lost interest so
I am starting to do the intergration couse but i found the speed to be so slow.
..i found myself to be distracted alot with all the signs, the arrows, the cars, the snow covered-street doesnt help any bit.
my home city has around 10m people, but where i live now has around 4000, it feels so empty."

 

My impression is, that you show a lack of concentration.

ADHS?

 

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