Marriage without cohabitation

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So my German bf and I (Indian) are contemplating marriage but for personal reasons we do not yet wish to move in together even if we live in the same city after marriage. Are we obligated by law to live together in order for the marriage to be considered valid? Please forgive me for my ignorance on this matter. It would be great if someone can share some information on this. Thank you!

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I would imagine that once you are married, you can live together or apart. Your choice. If you live apart, that may be grounds for annulling the marriage?! There is the other issue- of your visa as a NOn EU. If you are claiming marriage as a  reason for a visa, and do not live together, maybe  visa Amt would be very suspicious.?

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I would imagine that once you are married, you can live together or apart. Your choice. If you live apart, that may be grounds for annulling the marriage?! There is the other issue- of your visa as a NOn EU. If you are claiming marriage as a  reason for a visa, and do not live together, maybe  visa Amt would be very suspicious.?

Thanks RedMidge. Indeed if we live apart then in case of a divorce it will be easier, but when neither of us want a divorce then I hope the law does not annul the marriage on its own on the grounds that we have been living separately. Also you are right, I guess if I claim a visa on the grounds of marriage it might not work out. I may try anyway but it's not an absolute necessity as I have my own employment in Germany and might be eligible in a couple of years on my own to get a permanent residence.

I am assuming only a lawyer can tell me for sure if a marriage is legally valid if a couple wants to live separately.

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You can live separately, many indian couples live with one here in Germany and one in india and I know of a few german couples that live for a year or so in different cities.  I guess there might be some concerns from the auslanderbehorder or the finanzamt (because married couples pay less tax) but the couples that I know have never had any problems when they lived apart.

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Some officials may see that as a Scheinehe, or marriage of convenience, especially if one person comes from a developing country.  

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It's common knowledge that for immigration purposes, a married couple that doesn't live together is seen very suspiciously, but if you don't intend to do request a residence permit based on marriage immediately, you're in a lot better shape, I would think.

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From what I read on TT you would risk your residence permit if the fact that your spouse is residing in Germany was the only reason you got it in the first place. Thing is that you don´t get a residence permit merely because you are married to a resident but to enable you to live with your spouse. Therefore, if you don´t want to that the Ausländeramt might well conclude that there is no reason to grant you a residence permit (and revoke it if they come to know).

 

The mere fact that you´re living separately doesn´t affect the legal status of your marriage (might have tax consequences though).

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I don't get why a newly-married couple wouldn't want to live together. Isn't that part of the point? Isn't not wanting to move in with someone a warning sign that maybe they aren't the right person for you to marry? I mean I can see couples that are forced to do it due to geography/work, but not out of any conscious choice to do so.

 

Whatever I guess, different strokes for different folks.

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I read that as 'marriage without collaboration'...

However... Getting married and not wanting to live together, and not telling us all why... 

Sounds like you almost know what we would say if we knew...

First thing popping to my mind is, marriage of convenience. Or maybe your parents are against it and you want to break it to them gently.. In 5 or 10 years... (or is it his parents?)
I think most people here would be understanding if that were the case...

 

 

 

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Thank you all for your inputs.

 

Since everybody is so curious to know, I'll clarify our situation a bit. We both are not in a position yet where we would like to move in together. Both of us are highly qualified, highly independent and career-driven individuals. I am in no way dependent on my bf in order to stay in Germany, neither have I ever had to depend on the state in the past six years of my stay in Germany. Neither of us are interested in having children in the near future either which makes it unnecessary for us to live together. However, since India is more conservative, I would like to have our relationship legally recognised so that my parents are not bothered by society back there and I can introduce my husband to my relatives whenever we visit there. As long as we do not marry, he is unwelcome in India. Also it is safer to stay in hotels in India as a married couple rather than an unmarried couple.

 

 

 

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Please let us know how you get on with this!

 

It does rather sound as if you want to get married in order to make your parents happy and trips home smoother.  And perhaps there are worse reasons to get married.  But it does not sound a lot like wanting to love and support each other for the rest of your lives ... 

 

In Germany marriage seems to be defined as:

 

Die Ehe wird gemäß § 1353 Abs. 1 BGB wie folgt definiert: „Die Ehe wird auf Lebenszeit geschlossen. Die Ehegatten sind einander zur ehelichen Lebensgemeinschaft verpflichtet; sie tragen füreinander Verantwortung.“ Dementsprechend entstehen zwischen den Ehepartnern sowohl persönliche als auch wirtschaftliche Verpflichtungen. Zu den persönlichen Verpflichtungen zählen unter anderem Treue, gegenseitige Unterstützung in allen Lebenslagen, Trostspenden. Die wirtschaftlichen Verpflichtungen bestehen unter anderem darin, dass Ehepartner dazu verpflichtet sind, finanziell füreinander zu sorgen.

 

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A small question - do you show your marriage certificate to your relatives and parents when you introduce your husband in India?. I mean you can show person A, B or C as your husband.

 

To me this is a very weak reason or logic to get married.

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Then why not work in the same city or nearby ones which would offer the possibility of a joint residence, e.g., one of you works in Mannheim? Living apart is generally a big problem, not just as far as the Immigration authorities are concerned, abut also for your relationship.

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9 minutes ago, Conquistador said:

Then why not work in the same city or nearby ones which would offer the possibility of a joint residence, e.g., one of you works in Mannheim? Living apart is generally a big problem, not just as far as the Immigration authorities are concerned, abut also for your relationship.

 

They don't want to live together!

 

10 minutes ago, RajeshG said:

A small question - do you show your marriage certificate to your relatives and parents when you introduce your husband in India?. I mean you can show person A, B or C as your husband.

 

 

You mean, just fake it RG? Hey, think of the subterfuge, the fake photos, the celebration when they get to India,  the gifts.  Oh god, the guilt!  Am getting stomach ache just thinking about it. 

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7 minutes ago, snowingagain said:

 

They don't want to live together!

 

 

You mean, just fake it RG? Hey, think of the subterfuge, the fake photos, the celebration when they get to India,  the gifts.  Oh god, the guilt!  Am getting stomach ache just thinking about it. 

 I thought marriage was a serious business unless you do it to save tax. This is the least of the reasonsto marry from 1 to 57 

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I thought society has progressed enough to understand that marriage is not synonymous to 'more commitment' or 'more love'. Ideally marriage is just legal acknowledgement of what you already have in your relationship. And for me, legal acknowledgement is a good enough reason to get married to your loved one because if you have proper visitation rights to each other owing to marriage then you can actually love and support each other better. I am not saying we won't ever live together, it's just that right now we're not at that stage but that doesn't mean we don't love or support each other. There are plenty of perfectly happy couples who live apart; sorry if it doesn't fit to your idea of love. So for whoever is concerned about my relationship, I thank you but I think you can leave that to us. I am not looking for relationship advice; I asked a legal question and I think I have got the answer to that and for that I'm grateful.

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Serious question - could you not visit family in India and stay at different homes like you do in Germany and present yourselves as simply boyfriend/girlfriend (oh god, what is the grownup word for that?) with the intent of possibly getting married in the future? Would your family rather not see you if that were the case?

 

I do greatly respect your rights to do whatever is best for you.

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For me it smells fishy. If you have a (new) partner you want to have sex every night. If you don't want this, why marry?

" There are plenty of perfectly happy couples who live " with new partners. Your sentence doesn't make sense for me.

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