Bullying or harassment in the work place

301 posts in this topic

I omitted the "Meet The Parents" moments. Of which there were several, where it was patently clear that it was personal.

No it was definitely just him, the boss below him really liked the concepts and proofs and was with me trying to sell him on them. The guy dismissed this particular set out of hand in a manner charitably described as unreasonable. The boss was sticking his neck out for me and the EOL boss was behaving like a stubborn teenager, a Harry Enfield creation. Caused a bit of a stir at the time as the successful work I was doing with a sister company was hobbled and their managers complained directly about the unfair treatment and removal from projects where I was functioning well.

 

A year later and guess what? The concepts are implemented and in production. But I've moved on. Fuck 'im and the sausage he marched in on.

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Okay, now that is just a bad, bad boss.

 

I guess if the boyy is so rotten, there MAY be the option of sueing, but really.. at that point the best you can do is leave the company. The world isn't perfect.

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I had a colleague who always wrote an email after every in-person or telephone conversation. He documented his understanding of the conversation, and invited corrections. He bcc'd his home email address, and printed each one.

It seems paranoid until you hear about stories like those related here.

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Thanks for those who addressed my original post.

 

So far, I have not had any new instances. However, the boss is on vacation this week, so I cannot say if any complaints have or will be made this week. Nothing has been said to me.

 

I do know that the big boss was made aware of the situation, but I have no idea on his thoughts.

 

As to those who mentioned raising hell and getting a lawyer. While many assume thats the Americans first step, its not my style. My job is just part time, so in the bigger scheme my income is a joke.

 

My husband is the bread winner, with a great career in the administrative section. I am not going to make hell for him over my situation.

 

I just want to be left alone to clean my toilets and come home each day and cross a day off my countdown till the mutterschutz kicks in.

 

Thanks for all the tips.

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"@James - the fact that you use the word "headmaster" makes me think you have never been in a work environment, either. If the boss won't help, there are still many possible ways of dealing with bullying in the workplace. Not the least of which would be confronting the bully. Reckless endangerment, destroying company property or fraud happen to be... really idiotic ideas. They really seem more like an excuse to be the bully, as opposed to stopping bullying. Only more cowardly than the original bully because - ooh, it's anonymous! It's a masturbatory power fantasy, not any kind of solution. So.. yeah.

 

Thank you for the advice, Keydeck. I guess this is the point to leave this discussion again."

 

@Rimini ... I could always advise you to do the REAL mature thing and do as I do and set up your "own" company and then fire all the bullies in your office ... But somehow I doubt you can do that :P

 

Good luck with the head-master ...

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"Rimini ... "I guess if the boyy is so rotten, there MAY be the option of sueing" - My god, snitching, sueing??? I'm more worried about meeting you than I am meeting a bully :P Hahahahahaha ...

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Serenajean, this is very sad.

 

If you want to fight it, I'd first recommend to write down what happens. No speculation but facts and dates. Such a documentation is important if someone asks you what happened.

 

I think there are several self-help groups on the net where you can get information. And if you're employed directly at the hospital and there's a Betriebsrat, they might be more sympathetic for your situation than you might think.

 

Then there's the question whether you can find a way to make a truce with the other workers. Obviously some people are just awful but maybe there's a chance.

 

Last but not least, if it's financially possible, consider whether the job is worth the stress. I know that this would be extremely unfair to you, but not all fights are worth fighting.

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Hey Hans-

 

The problem is that the way things unfold, its not really documentable. Minus the note. It is just daily complaints to the boss. Now I can document how much they complain, but obviously she is aware of that. The other stuff all magically happens in ways that could be deemed he said she said. When it comes to people being worried they will get in trouble, they report the other people, but its mostly a mob mentality.

 

I have thought about quitting and/ or trying to find another position. I have just heard horror stories of people being fired once the boss knows they are pregnant in the probeziet. I would much prefer to be off my feet even if it meant a few more hours daily doing office type work.

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It is just daily complaints to the boss. Now I can document how much they complain, but obviously she is aware of that.

I think in such a situation I'd document it. When this comes up in the future, your boss might have a selective memory. Out of a sudden daily complaints become "yeah, there were some complaints".

 

This might especially happen if it goes to someone else but her. Not dealing with such a situation doesn't show her as a good boss.

 

If you have to discuss this at some moment in the future, it's a heck of a difference whether you say "but there were daily complaints, I mean maybe 3-4 times a week or so ... maybe not every week but there were a lot" or whether you have a list which shows the extremely large number and sometimes absurd nature of complaints. A list is a lot more difficult to ignore and puts the others on the defensive.

 

I think it's just important not to seem obsessed when you create the list. It's also important for your mental health not to become obsessed.

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ok I will send some of my girls friends to have a talk with this nice co workers maybe on an dark alley? :angry:

 

Just kidding, :) hope things get better for you hang in there and if you can yes get a copy of that note ,otherwise write everything down and hope everything goes well with the baby. :)

 

Also I once had this bullying in the USA and I recorded the conversations and showed them to my Boss he then got the hint and never bother me again he left the company few months later.

I wonder if this is legal here can you record the conversations or ask your boss and make them aware of it?if not the boss then HR,it seem like it's their word against yours.luck!

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@Serenajean1: I saw one of your postings earlier. Someone asked for help and the first thing you did was "attack" him for posting on this forum, with that all I can say is that maybe the reason you are being bullied is more an attitude problem than a bully issue.

 

@Hans: You're most likely Dutch, bro ... lists dont work in Germany, mate, check out Schindler :P

 

The only way to beat a bully is to be a bigger one than him/ her ... :)

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Right, My attitude towards women who work in the morning that I do not even come into contact with. Many that I have never met more then 20 minutes at a meeting.

 

Perhaps you did not read the whole story in that it dated back t my manager not handling a problem.

 

So why don't you mind your own business.

 

And for that matter, giving a kid realistic advice about not being able to find a job here is not bullying him. YOur sugar coating expat life and setting up people for failure is far worse.

 

Do not even attempt to belittle my situation.

 

Hans I meant to hit green, but hit red sorry :( Can someone give him a greenie.

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@Serenajean1: I saw one of your postings earlier. Someone asked for help and the first thing you did was "attack" him for posting on this forum, with that all I can say is that maybe the reason you are being bullied is more an attitude problem than a bully issue.

 

@Hans: You're most likely Dutch, bro ... lists dont work in Germany, mate, check out Schindler

 

The only way to beat a bully is to be a bigger one than him/ her ...

 

You are doing you best to be a verbal bully, JM.

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I love getting advice on our forum etiquette and behavior from someone who joined yesterday.

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I don't think we are the only forum on the internet and I don't think etiquette is limited to this one...

 

As said before, the adult way is to go to your boss, however this is real life and sometimes you will not get any help and will have to deal with it on your own.

 

Real life is hard at times and shit people can win the day.

 

As for finding a job here, a lot comes down to luck and who you know. having a career skill helps increase the amount of luck you may have.

 

@Sereajean - as I said above, try to get this documented as much as possible, however as you say, this isn't easy in your situation. You cannot exactly send your boss letter by registered post, it would look strange and heavy handed. Your boss could react badly to that.

 

keep a diary etc - may not help but you never know, it may. Do your have any unemployed friends who could apply for your company all secret like - they could then back up your story..

 

Could you work on getting your bosses email address? However, lets be honest, pinning your boss down to potentially land themselves in trouble by not acting is really only going to hurt a secondary factor.

 

The bullies are the ones that need to be dealt with.

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I am a bit lost.

 

I have my bosses email, why would I need to track it down?

 

Also as I said, I am not interested in pursuing things legally, I just want to get through the next few months. And I had heard about people being krankengeschreiben for various reasons during pregnancy when the job posed a risk be it physical or mental.

 

As far as people I know applying, it is not worth it as I do not intent to sue over a mini job. Further no one I know want to clean toilets, nor is there any open positions.

 

As I mentioned the boss responded differently once the note was supplied as it tooks it passed the point of just me others playing a he said she said game. But I have no idea how she handled that, and I doubt that I ever will.

 

As far as the comments about my behavior. Just to clarify, I work 2-4afternoon. The other women work 4-12 morning. So only on a very rare occasion do I even have contact with them. This is all done mornings when I am not there. So makes it kind of hard for me to be rude to people. And furthermore, regardless of how rude someone is is no reason to make jokes about ripping a fetus out of them or wishing harm to ones pregnancy, or saying they put cleaning liquid in your drink. Fertig. I did nothing to deserve this and do not even interact with these women. If me asking my boss if it is proper for me to clean the wagon at the begging of my shift as well as the end and work longer unpaid because the other women didn't do her work makes me rude, then I give up.

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I have heard about people being written sick according to work related stress. I am wondering how that works, and if it can be done due to the pregnancy since the daily stress and panic attacks or taking a huge toll on my body and surely the baby as well.

You can but then you have one problem. If you are in an extended medical leave then your employer does not pay anymore for your salary and you get your money from the health insurance. The catch is you do not get 100% of your income, I think it is something around two thirds of your original income.

 

And being in extended medical leaves can under certain circumstances be a reason to fire you.

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But not while pregnant.

 

But it doesn't matter anyway, as I have not taken that route.

 

BUt I know plenty of people who worked in a job that cannot be done while pregnant and they got paid leave. They cannot legally fire you for being unable to do your job while pregnant.

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Pregnancy does not give you 100% protection, it is not a card to do whatever you want. You might want to check MuSchG §9 Absatz 3.

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This thread has turned sour so I am making my official thread flounce.

 

Thanks to those for the supportive comments.

 

I am not suing, nor have interest in arguing about prenatal law.

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