Afghan GF facing deportation - where can we find legal help?

259 posts in this topic

7 hours ago, TraceKira said:

Well to give some update.

We live separated. She stays in camp , and we see maybe once per month but this distance relationship wont work. I try to help if possible , but ofcourse i have to think about my own expenses also and what i want to do with my future. As long as we are separated i dont see any prospect of real relationship :(

She asked me help her with a cheap laptop. I will consider something around 200 euro , tablet like but i know my limitations and i wont spend again 200 euro on a round way trip to Basel.

The truth is that there is no prospect of any real relationship with her, period (you have no common language, for starters). You are simply being used for whatever you can provide her.

 

I've seen numerous imaginary relationships where this occurred, and none ended up as a "real" relationship. The victim invariably had low self-esteem and did not realize that they could do better.

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8 hours ago, TraceKira said:

She asked me help her with a cheap laptop. I will consider something around 200 euro , tablet like but i know my limitations and i wont spend again 200 euro on a round way trip to Basel.

Excuse my curiosity, but did she tell you what she plans to do with a laptop? I mean for surfing the net, a good smartphone should suffice, no? 

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4 hours ago, fraufruit said:

A couple of things for you to think about. You don't owe us an answer.

 

1) How do you know she is buying the things she says she is buying?

2) How do you know that you are the only one giving her money?

 

 It is not uncommon for men to spend money to get some action.

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On 15/11/2015, 02:12:07, TraceKira said:

Well she needs money... Ofcourse she will ask me for money.

No, not really.

 

If a new girlfriend or mine started asking me for money, the relationship would not last long.

I have friends of many, many years who would not ask me for money.

 

I would suggest you treat the relationship as it stands, so far a short term one with little contact.

Do not send her any money and no expensive presents. If you want to stay in the relationship, do so. However keep an eye out for these kind of requests. If she ever links a request to your feelings for her, walk away.

 

I know that may be easier for us to say, and we also do not know her.

However being fair, neither do you really.

 

 

 

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On 15.11.2015 08:36:29, Erdmann said:

Excuse my curiosity, but did she tell you what she plans to do with a laptop? I mean for surfing the net, a good smartphone should suffice, no? 

 

I have a German learning program and she wants to use it. She used my laptop until now.

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1 minute ago, TraceKira said:

 

I have a German learning program and she wants to use it. She used my laptop until now.

 

Did you get your laptop back from her? Where is she now?  You said it cost 200 Euro to visit her last time so the distance must have increased.  If she has a smartphone, tell her to download Duolingo (or similar) to learn some German until her situation stabilizes.

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3 minutes ago, TraceKira said:

 

I have a German learning program and she wants to use it. She used my laptop until now.

I thought you two didn't meet up often?

 

Does she have your laptop or has she only used the program a few times?

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22 minutes ago, cb6dba said:

I thought you two didn't meet up often?

 

Does she have your laptop or has she only used the program a few times?

 

She used a few times and I really saw she is really interested in learning German.

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23 minutes ago, slycookies said:

 

Did you get your laptop back from her? Where is she now?  You said it cost 200 Euro to visit her last time so the distance must have increased.  If she has a smartphone, tell her to download Duolingo (or similar) to learn some German until her situation stabilizes.

 

She uses my laptop when she comes to me (she comes once per month).I asked her to come more often but she tolde me on Sundays she goes to Church.

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Just now, TraceKira said:

 

She uses my laptop when she comes to me (she comes once per month).I asked her to come more often but she tolde me on Sundays she goes to Church.

 

Tell her to discuss with the church leadership about if there is a member willing to work on her German with her.  It will be 100% more effective than any program could be.  This will be free or maybe cost her a cup of coffee/tea/etc.  A church she is activity attending is a great resource she can use without stressing you out.  Do not buy her a laptop, do not send her money for this purpose.

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At times I still get a feeling that we are not getting all the info on this...

 

Not that there is anything bad with that, the OP does not have to share their lives with us - but at times things here just do not add up...

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2 hours ago, fraufruit said:

She's coming to you now? Wow! Did she get out of the refugee camp or how did her status change?

 

I think shes allowed to leave the camp for some period of time. Is not like she is imprisoned there -_-''

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4 hours ago, TraceKira said:

 

I asked her to come more often but she tolde me on Sundays she goes to Church.

 

 

And you think this relationship will work ? Did anything click inside that head of yours ?

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Ok some updates.

She is living in the camp with 4 other female colleagues who are bringing mens in the room and picking on her because she is alone.(basically the men are making sexual advances)

She wants to study german in the room but she is cannot do much because of the other colleagues.

The doctor gave her prescription pills to help her sleep ( i saw  the prescription)

She is crying now and asked me to help her. I dont know what i can do since i dont think she i allowed to leave camp. I told her if she can give the tel. nr of the person who is responsable in camp maybe i can speak in english to ask what is the situation there.

It seems the camp is a lawless place where criminals can do whatever they want... WTF. Shouldn't  the mens be separated from women ?!

The things dont look good.

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