What made you smile today?

5,286 posts in this topic

Someone using a delightful word I never heard of, "squizz".  😀  Just when I think I've had enough along comes @kiplette and restores my faith.  😉 😂

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Wulfrun said:

Today is Goldie Hawn's 75th birthday

Such a fun actor- seem to recall " Rowan and Martin's laugh-in"! ? Didn't she get splashed with water every episode?!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, LukeSkywalker said:

Who do you see first: Diego Maradona or the woman with the big...earrings?

 

image.png

I see a blue car! But I’ve just put my eyedrops in..

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, LukeSkywalker said:

Black Friday is over and I didn't buy anything. 

Don't worry, you can make up for that on Cyber Monday. ;) 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

 

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.

589e03277cca1.image.jpg

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A man found a goose that was shaking with cold stuck to a pole in Montana. As he got closer he realized, wrapped up in her wings, was a tiny puppy she was shielding from the freezing temperatures.

 

 

123271534_4629872583754329_2774374870877733469_n.jpg

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.

The old lady wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.

The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have $1,300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?

The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. “Well please let me have $3000 now.” The teller kindly handed $3000 very friendly and with a smile to her.

The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2,990 back into her account.

The moral of this story is...
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so proud of my son -

 

Quote

Pence is bringing a super spreading event to Augusta. I got four tickets. So did all of my friends. We all reserved tickets hoping it would help cut down on the crowd at his event when none of us show.

 

(ETA - That's in Georgia)

8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now