What made you smile today?

5,191 posts in this topic

30 minutes ago, HH_Sailor said:

 

Don't you remember the old Ford Pubic ?

It was made from recycled Corsair...

 

I'll get my hat.

 

Mitsubishi Pajero...

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I have a 'thing' for Koalas, my Australian grandparents gave me a stuffed toy Koala when I was a toddler...

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My newly-widowed grandmother took a long cruise to the South Seas in 1962, when it was kind of affordable, and brought back a stuffed koala, platypus, and kangaroo for my three pre-schoolers.
She also brought back a new love, but that's another, very sweet, story.
I hope your koala survived your childhood, @Wulfrun. :) 

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I was looking for ideas on how to administer tablets to reluctant cats. This amazon review on ‘cat pill putty’ made me smile.

 

How to administer pills to to cats and dogs....***NOT REAL INSTRUCTIONS***
 

How to give a cat a pill

 

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

 

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

 

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

 

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

 

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

 

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

 

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

 

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

 

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

 

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

 

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

 

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

 

13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

 

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

 

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. This point of course would never be true for  any cat lover!

 

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:

 

1) Wrap it in bacon.

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Quote

Gustaf Håkansson – the 'steel grandpa' who won a 1,000-mile bicycle race

In 1951, a 66-year-old Swede crossed the winning line on a rusty old roadster with a flat tyre – and became a cycling legend

 

One hundred years from now, this story will be the sort we'll tell our kids when they're tucked up under the duvet and we've given into telling them, for the 47th time, about the long-bearded grandpa who won a 1,000-mile bicycle race.

It involves the romanticism that tends to, after a time, become shrouded in myth. One person will say it was 1,000 miles he rode, and the next might say it was 1,000km. One might say he was 66 years old, when someone else heard that, no; he rode 66 miles at 1,000 years of age. Anyway, it goes something like this.

In 1951, Gustaf Håkansson signed up for an endurance race traversing virtually the entirety of Sweden, only for his submission to be rejected because of his age. It was determined that the 66-year-old had neither the strength nor the stamina to compete with the 50 other racers half his age. Nevertheless, having ridden 600 miles to get to the starting line, Gustaf was there on race day in the saddle of his roadster complete with mudguards, a headlamp (which is what eventually helped him emerge victorious) and panniers.

 

Seems he didn't follow the rules - why should he - the race commitee didn't allow him to start.

So every night when the young athletes rested and gained strength for the next leg,

Gustaf stopped for an hour - then rode through the night to catch up and eventually lead the race.

 

Quote

Five days, five hours and 1,000 miles later, spectators waiting to cover the winner in eternal glory spotted a figure rounding the last corner. Amid their cheers they went to greet him and offer him food and water, so exhausted he must be after such an arduous slog through Sweden. Expecting to embrace a 20 or 30-something slender man bending over the handlebars during the last push, the receiving crowd were understandably more than a little perplexed to watch a frail old gentleman wobble over the line on a rusty old roadster with a flat tyre. Not only that, but a full day ahead of the next rider.

 

 

For whatever reason, this is "trending" in the Guardian newspaper today even though the story

was published by them in 2013 and, whats more, concerns a race from 1951.

 

Still, it made me smile today and I wish you a smile too :D

 

Full story

 

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I just learned that banana skins are edible, but if monkeys won't even eat banana strings, I think I'll continued to toss the skins into the rose bushes. :) 

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