What made you smile today?

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On 2/16/2020, 1:24:21, fraufruit said:

synonym.jpg.364a78ae64307b0bef57133149a1

One of the funniest things I have ever read!

:P:lol:

Wonderful!!!

Thank you, fraufruit!

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Next to my front door is a window - I can see who's at the door and they can see me.

 

Postman dropped the letters and left today instead of handing them to me and chatting.

 

As I was about to open the door, he saw me.

Well, don't you all wear latex gloves when peeling and chopping beetroot?

 

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1 hour ago, HH_Sailor said:

Next to my front door is a window - I can see who's at the door and they can see me.

 

Postman dropped the letters and left today instead of handing them to me and chatting.

 

As I was about to open the door, he saw me.

Well, don't you all wear latex gloves when peeling and chopping beetroot?

 

 

Nope - but the look of my bare hands would have had an even more disturbing effect.

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There was a woman giving a beggar two sandwiches. He smiled at her like it was the best thing he ever saw. This made me happy:)

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fran200227.gif From Mike Peterson's blog, Comic Strip of the Day:

"Brother Leo reminds me of a time I was at the Benedictine Monastery at Snowmass, talking to one of the brothers, and he said, “Yes, it’s hard to believe it’s 1974,” to which I said, “1976."

“Oh, is it?” he answered, and went on, unconcerned.

He wasn’t, admittedly, typical of the brothers, but I wouldn’t mind sharing such peace for at least a little while."

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An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, boring flight isn’t it? Take care and have a look here!”

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, "Well, how was that?"

The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"

The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the Airbus pilot radioed, "Well, what do you say now?"

The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?"

The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the aircraft, to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake and made a date with the stewardess for the next three nights - in a 5 Star hotel, which is paid for by my employer. "

 

The moral of the story is:
When you are young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, comfort and peace are not to be despised either.

 

This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older, Smarter.

 

Dedicated to all my friends who like me likes the S.O.S. approach

 

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25 minutes ago, Wulfrun said:

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic.

Much older version of that joke, but one that gets to the point much quicker:

 

An old bull and a young bull are standing atop a hill, looking at a herd of cows in the valley below.

 

The young bull says, "Let's run down the hill and fuck one of those cows!"

The old bull replies, "No, let's walk down and fuck them all."

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4 minutes ago, El Jeffo said:

Much older version of that joke, but one that gets to the point much quicker:

Yeah, it was even more long-winded when I read it, I think it was probably a google translation from German...

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13 minutes ago, Wulfrun said:

Yeah, it was even more long-winded when I read it, I think it was probably a google translation from German...

 

Otto Waalkes. "Father bull and son bull..." And that sketch was in English entirely.

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Just now, Sannerl said:

 

Otto Waalkes. "Father bull and son bull..." And that sketch was in English entirely.

Sorry to break it to you, but that joke is far older than Otto.

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judy.jpg.dda3e501ac0d25ba9a1be7f7dbd68bd

 

Judy, a purebred pointer, was the mascot of several ships in the Pacific, and was captured by the Japanese in 1942 and taken to a prison camp. There she met Aircraftsman Frank Williams, who shared his small portion of rice with her.

 

Judy raised morale in the POW camp, and also barked when poisonous snakes, crocodiles or even tigers approached the prisoners. When the prisoners were shipped back to Singapore, she was smuggled out in a rice sack, never whimpering or betraying her presence to the guards.

 

The next day, that ship was torpedoed. Williams pushed Judy out of a porthole in an attempt to save her life, even though there was a 15-foot drop to the sea. He made his own escape from the ship, but was then recaptured and sent to a new POW camp.

 

He didn't know if Judy had survived, but soon he began hearing stories about a dog helping drowning men reach pieces of debris after the shipwreck. And when Williams arrived at the new camp, he said: "I couldn’t believe my eyes! As I walked through the gate, a scraggly dog hit me square between the shoulders and knocked me over. I’d never been so glad to see the old girl!"

 

They spent a year together at that camp in Sumatra. "Judy saved my life in so many ways," said Williams. "But the greatest of all was giving me a reason to live. All I had to do was look into those weary, bloodshot eyes and ask myself: 'What would happen to her if I died?' I had to keep going."

 

Once hostilities ceased, Judy was then smuggled aboard a troopship heading back to Liverpool. In England, she was awarded the Dickin Medal (the "Victoria Cross" for animals) in May 1946. Her citation reads: "For magnificent courage and endurance in Japanese prison camps, which helped to maintain morale among her fellow prisoners, and also for saving many lives through her intelligence and watchfulness".

 

At the same time, Frank Williams was awarded the PDSA's* White Cross of St. Giles for his devotion to Judy. Frank and Judy spent a year after the war visiting the relatives of English POWs who had not survived, and Frank said that Judy "always provided a comforting presence to the families."

When Judy finally died at the age of 13, Frank spent two months building a granite and marble memorial in her memory, which included a plaque describing her life story.

 

*PDSA - People's Dispensary for Sick Animals

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@john g.

 

i had a delicious curry with none other than the fabulous mr g in hamburg yesterday.

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