What made you smile today?

3,624 posts in this topic

 

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

 

But what the heck.   Let’s go.

 

 

AB6FA79D-C329-4EF7-908A-844D90111213.jpeg

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember worrying as a young child.  "if a bucket has 20 oranges and 8 walnuts, how many are in half a bucket".   I sat there wondering if there was a rule I had missed about how walnuts and oranges arranged themselves when left in buckets.  Think I flunked the test.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness

I replied "No we all seem to enjoy it!"?

6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The school teacher lady appeared at my work to say she hadn't seen me in a few years because of an accident she'd had. I felt sorry for her up to that point, and said 'glad you made it back,' only to hear her bumbling say I looked better now, not 'altbacken' like before. I didn't know what that word meant. I looked it up it means 'stale' I guess. I have never seen myself as looking 'stale' (like a dry loaf of bread???). Now I don't really feel so sorry for her, unless her sort of tactless comment was due to having hit her head when falling down all those stairs. 

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, cybil said:

The school teacher lady appeared at my work to say she hadn't seen me in a few years because of an accident she'd had. I felt sorry for her up to that point, and said 'glad you made it back,' only to hear her bumbling say I looked better now, not 'altbacken' like before. I didn't know what that word meant. I looked it up it means 'stale' I guess. I have never seen myself as looking 'stale' (like a dry loaf of bread???). Now I don't really feel so sorry for her, unless her sort of tactless comment was due to having hit her head when falling down all those stairs. 

 

Altbacken also means old-fashioned. Maybe you've now got a different hairdo, which makes you look more stylish to her. But indeed, she spolied her compliment with that remark. 

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yoko Ono asked for help on Twitter;

Give us some advice that will make our lives heal and shine.

 

The pearls of wisdom included...

 

Don’t split up the Beatles when they have a few more albums in them.

 

A decent pair of oven gloves is worth 1000 towels

 

If you wait until ten minutes before Tesco closes, you can buy an entire birthday cake reduced to 50p.

 

If you marry into the British @RoyalFamily always wear a seatbelt

 

Don't buy The Sun

 
4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Quote

 

A Canadian man says that his request for a personalized license plate has been rejected on the grounds that it contains an “unacceptable slogan.”

The CBC reports that Dave Assman, who pronounces his last name as “Oss-men,” has been prohibited from putting his last name on his license plate — and he’s determined to fight the ban.

“It’s my last name, I’ve always had it,” the Saskatchewan resident told the CBC. “I’m not ashamed of it. There’s nothing bad about it.”

For Assman, his name carries a proud legacy. His great-grandfather, an Assman himself, would help other farmers during hard times.

“Farmers would come in the early ’30s and they borrowed money from him,” Assman said. “Instead of him foreclosing on their land, he just either forgave it, or let them pay when they could.”

But according to government officials, a license plate featuring the name could offend others.

“Even if a word is someone’s name and pronounced differently than the offensive version, that’s not something that would be apparent to other motorists who will see the plate,” 

 

 

my bold

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  Who says us Brits don't have Haute cuisine.

 

M&SVerified account @marksandspencer

Are you ready for our Love Sausage? Heart-shaped, lightly truffled, wrapped in bacon and in store tomorrow. Say it with sausages – tag who you’ll be sharing your Love Sausage with this Valentine's Day!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DypOt9dW0AEHzcB.jpg:large

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, hooperski said:

  Who says us Brits don't have Haute cuisine.

 

M&SVerified account @marksandspencer

Are you ready for our Love Sausage? Heart-shaped, lightly truffled, wrapped in bacon and in store tomorrow. Say it with sausages – tag who you’ll be sharing your Love Sausage with this Valentine's Day!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DypOt9dW0AEHzcB.jpg:large

There ya go Jezza... 

 

Liebewurst!....   Perfect for your wife on Valentines day!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, snowingagain said:

The UK Department of Work and Pensions call waiting music yesterday was "Ode to Joy".

 

Presumably after BREXIT they will use something by Benjamin Britain  Britten...

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, HEM said:

 

Presumably after BREXIT they will use something by Benjamin Britain  Britten...

Or " Going Home" piece from Dvorak's New World Symphony?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now