Only in America...

2,307 posts in this topic

 

The ATM machines are on the driver's side. Pretty impossible to reach all the way across from the passenger seat and out the driver's side window to feel the machine. Of course the driver can do the transaction for the blind person.

 

Only in Amish country in America does one see people driving horses and buggies through the ATM machines. I think.

 

Just as the Amish will probably have to get off their buggy to operate the ATM, the blind person can be guided out of the car to the machine. Duh.

 

Edit: just read a comment from a previous poster about having a blind or visually impaired person in a back seat. Also a good point.

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how come the other threads get to post mostly funny things or humblebrag about their countries? The United States covers umpteen bazillion square miles of land across every kind of terrain imaginable from plains to swamp to desert to rainforest, is home to more ethnicities and nationalities than you can shake a star-spangled stick at, and is the birthplace of no small number of highly popular, influential bands, musicians, filmmakers, athletes, inventors, writers, artists, scientists, researchers, statesmen/women etc ad infinitum, yet all we are capable of having an opinion about when the conversation veers stateside are tired cliches about burger-eating, gun-toting, couldn't-find-America-on-a-map-of-America, Wal-Mart addicted lardasses? Really, people?

 

Then contribute something funny? :) I thought that video I posted was pretty funny, sorry if you didn't find it so...

 

Anyways, finding humor is increasingly difficult some days living here in Berlin - especially lately as I've been dealing with bureaucratic issues, blah. We have whole threads on that too, and they aren't funny at all.

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In my case, it's because things have gotten so bad in the US in the past decade, that there really isn't much nice to say that doesn't have something to do with customer service.

 

Even my staunchly Republican late brother said that 9/11 changed everything over there, and not for the better.

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My typical conversation in a US restaurant:

 

Server: Can I get you a drink, sir?

 

Me: Just a glass of water, please.

 

Server: Er, excuse me, I didn't get that.

 

Me: A glass of water?

 

Server: Sorry?

 

Me (thinking "if it's not beer, wine, coke or fanta, can't you make a guess at what it might be?") : Water? Warter? Waiter?

 

Server: No, still not getting it...

 

Me: Wetter? Wooder? Widder? Wadder?

 

Server: A glass of wadder? Sure, still or sparkling?

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Now we're just being picky. Everyone knows it's pronounced Wuader. :)

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too much wuader, not enough alcuhal.

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too much wuader, not enough alcuhal.

 

No it's alkeehal

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how come the other threads get to post mostly funny things or humblebrag about their countries? The United States covers umpteen bazillion square miles of land across every kind of terrain imaginable from plains to swamp to desert to rainforest, is home to more ethnicities and nationalities than you can shake a star-spangled stick at, and is the birthplace of no small number of highly popular, influential bands, musicians, filmmakers, athletes, inventors, writers, artists, scientists, researchers, statesmen/women etc ad infinitum, yet all we are capable of having an opinion about when the conversation veers stateside are tired cliches about burger-eating, gun-toting, couldn't-find-America-on-a-map-of-America, Wal-Mart addicted lardasses? Really, people?

 

I think I love you... post-133917-13939266619265.gif

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When I was first living here, 10 years ago, I told my wife that I wanted to go out for pizza. She told me we should go to Pizza Hat.

And she was serious; she thought we had named a chain of restaurants after a hat.

post-131284-1393927718313.jpg

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1. Dunno why ppl SO SO seereuz about the inane, unfunny list in the OP? Cannot believe it aroused four pages of dispute about corny, half made-up claims and "idiosyncrasies" only a moron would find remotely entertaining? It did the email FWD rounds years ago and has been posted at least once, maybe several times in "miscellaneous crap" thread(s) right here on TT within the last decade. Is not the OP's own work.

 

2.

 

how come the other threads get to post mostly funny things or humblebrag about their countries? The United States covers umpteen bazillion square miles of land across every kind of terrain imaginable from plains to swamp to desert to rainforest, is home to more ethnicities and nationalities than you can shake a star-spangled stick at, and is the birthplace of no small number of highly popular, influential bands, musicians, filmmakers, athletes, inventors, writers, artists, scientists, researchers, statesmen/women etc ad infinitum, yet all we are capable of having an opinion about when the conversation veers stateside are tired cliches about burger-eating, gun-toting, couldn't-find-America-on-a-map-of-America, Wal-Mart addicted lardasses? Really, people?

 

What I couldn't say due to 2%!

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When I was first living here, 10 years ago, I told my wife that I wanted to go out for pizza. She told me we should go to Pizza Hat.

And she was serious; she thought we had named a chain of restaurants after a hat.

post-131284-1393927718313.jpg

 

Most German's think this, which is fair, considering "hat" in German is "hut" and the logo has a picture of what looks a lot like a hat.

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Most of the US citizens I have met introduce themselves as coming from America. So a similar incident happened in my German class (A1) during the introduction and a Brazilian shouted then to that guy and said "Where do I come from then? I come from America as well. America is a continent and not your country. You better say USA". Not sure if it adds to "only in America" title... In fact I think the title itself should probably changed to Only in USA :)

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In fact I think the title itself should probably changed to Only in USA

 

Fuck off, you damn foreigner. It's not called "Argentina the beautiful"! It's called America the beautiful, and by that they mean the good old USA. You're in Germany, speak English for God's sake!

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Fuck off, you damn foreigner... You're in Germany, speak English for God's sake!

 

irony fail

 

Edit to add: @e, Guest is just joking

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Most of the US citizens I have met introduce themselves as coming from America. So a similar incident happened in my German class (A1) during the introduction and a Brazilian shouted then to that guy and said "Where do I come from then? I come from America as well. America is a continent and not your country. You better say USA". Not sure if it adds to "only in America" title... In fact I think the title itself should probably changed to Only in USA

 

 

 

Edit: So you are an American and not citizen of USA

 

You, Sir, are an idiot! The Americas, meaning North and South America as a continent. America is also a country. Australia is also a continent and a country. The Brazilian in your shit class should've known the question was what country did he come from, not what continent. By your reasoning, when traveling elsewhere, and asked where you come from, do you say "Europe, or Asia or Middle East?" Yours and the Brazilian's statements are totally ignorant...complete fail! If I were in this shit class, a Texas ass-whoopin' would have occurred...as (A), it's a retarded statement, and (B ) , he was trying to offend, although his ignorance abounds. Guest is correct...fuck off! If you said this to me in person, you would be wearing your ass as a hat...

 

post-133917-13939403526355.jpg

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