Punography - Favourite Puns

65 posts in this topic

Here's a real-life, probably unintended pun from SP in the "Fathers in girls' shower area at swim school" thread

 

 

... Personally, If My wee one needs to Pinkel, then I take her into the gents and wait outside the cubicle door ...

 

 

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spice puns..

 

She said “well, are you cumin?” And I said, “yeah, yeah. Just give me a mint.” She said “all right then curry up.” 

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If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel.

 

I'm a gluten for pun'ishment.

 

 

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

 

Puns make me feel numb but math puns make me feel number

 

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?.
...It's not hard.

 

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage..
...I lost my case.

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A 100 yrs ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.

Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

The stables have turned.

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"Viagra will not make you  James Bond but it will make you  Roger Moore"

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I never could see myself doing this, but recently tried blindfold archery,  To think what I've been missing all these years... makes me quiver.

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"i dated a girl who had a  huge crush on me" Her name was Anna  Conda

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In desperate times, male lions have been known to resort to cannibalism.  Although not their mane source of food, they sometimes just have to swallow their pride.

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Two girls in a bathtub...

One of them asks: "Where´s the soap?"

The other answers. "yes it does!"

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