First World Problems

484 posts in this topic

We can't find a corkscrew at the GerMan's place, and are facing the prospect of Sunday dinner without a glass of wine. At my place, the corkscrew enjoys pride of place... :rolleyes:

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Screw two screws into the cork so about 1/2 " is still showing.

Grip with pliers and, in a gentle rocking motion, loosen and remove the cork.

Brought to you courtesy of my youngest brother, lawyer and part-time restaurant chef.

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Thanks for the tip, we were saved this time by being able to borrow the neighbor's corkscrew (in a house where no one knows one another!). :)

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I have too many girlfriends. Again.

 

Start of December, I made a break from everyone (GF´s included). Because I really want to be back in Germany. And that is going to take some serious saving isolation. Then, over Christmas, I was inundated.

 

So, as it stands;

 

- One of them will not talk to me. I don´t know why because, you know, she won´t talk to me.

- One of them, I won´t talk to. She probably does not know why because, you know, I´m not talking to her.

- One of them I have not seen in six months. Yet she txtd me 9 times on new years eve. I think I made a date to catch up with her next weekend, but I can´t really remember at the moment.

- One of them is getting married later this year. I have refused to have sex with her since she told me she was getting married. She still finds a way to be around me wearing not very much and complaining about how her relationships always end up in the toilet.

- One of them is on holiday overseas, thank Christ.

- One of them wants a commitment. She is fucking dynamite in bed and a lot of fun to be around, when she is not angry at me (which seems to be most of the time). But she wants me to be everything that I am not. A wonderful, perfect, combination of all of her ex-men put together at one time in one place.

- One of them wants a commitment. When I hang out with her, it is like I have found my soul mate (again). We talk for hours and never notice time passing. She is super-model beautiful and internationally famous. But the sex is fucking awful. And these days, I would rather be celibate than have regular bad sex.

 

Third world think they got problems???

 

Bitches, please :lol: ;)

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I was in the gym and sauna earlier and felt so inadequate! Spesh the sauna!

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I ordered "a Martini" in a German bar and I got a glass of vermouth.

 

I ordered a Campari soda and the waiter brought me a Coca Cola.

 

As if I'd ever drink Coca Cola willingly! Harumph!

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My electric heating blanket isn't warm enough.

*stuffs oldschool cherry stone pillow into microwave to get some real heat punch*

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The WiFi at our ski resort sucks. It looks like I'm going to miss an entire week of Facebooking and Instagramming.

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(in a house where no one knows one another!).

 

Sounds like my house, but we're the only ones who live there... :P

 

I've gained 5 Kilos since Thanksgiving and am up to 80 Kilo, which is where I always hit the brakes and get back down to 75, meaning I can't do KFC for a while. :(

 

Now if gaining weight isn't a first world problem, I don't know what is...

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Now if gaining weight isn't a first world problem, I don't know what is...

 

maybe trying to lose it?!

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My long, dangly metal earrings keep getting stuck on the avalanche search magnet in my ski anorak.

*Seriously, it hurts!*

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My vow of celibacy... The vow that was meant to get me back to Germany later this year without hurting anyone and with enough cash to set myself up again... Lasted 30 days.

 

Fuck, I hate Milfs. Why do they have to be so awesome???

 

Aaahh well. Back on the wagon.

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