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The best way to insult Germans

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sorry, my posting doesn't fit the thread. too late to edit.

 

ah, and before you insult me: I'm polite, if you're polite, we'll get along very well. B)

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The Germans are just as rude as many Americans, Brits, French etc are. Some people should try integrating more instead of sticking to just English Speaking Friends as some do on here.People are the way they are due to various circumstances in life-way they was brought up, personal experiences etc.Instead of throwing petty insults maybe try and understand why some people are rude, arrogant, aggressive or whatever.

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I would partly agree with you Dally. Yes people are a product of their upbringing, but the SIE/DU culture here in Germany does seem to exsasperate this situation.

 

Du = people you know

 

Sie = people you don't have to be polite to...

 

Witness any train plateform in Germany where people stand in front of the doors, with a really horribly small passage way of grim faced bodies marking the only way out...

 

I have intergrated here, I have many more German friends than I do English and while in their company I attempt to speak German. I watch German TV, I don't have Sky, I don't read English papers... But! There is no getting away from the fact that German customer service (thanks for the money now fuck off and die) is the worst in the world and that German people are really not the most friendly...

 

Just my opinion, not worth much I know, but if you go to Italy, you know the drivers will be mad. If you drive in Germany you know that no one will ever let you out of a turning or wait more than 2 nano seconds before tooting at a just gone green light...

 

Like it or not, Germans are a very argogant race. The question is; is this their problem, or simply a problem for those dealing with them?

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I think the (ex-Bayern?) footballer Stefan Effenberg was taken to court for calling a policeman an Arschloch so there probably is a law. Not sure there was a convinction though, for the reasons that SiM states

in britain has been proven in court twice that it is legal to say fuck etc to policemen

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So more back to the topic of insulting germans. A good bayrisch phrase I picked up in some bar is "Du blöde Saugrippe" Of course you'll have to try to pull it off with a bayrisch accent but it works wonders.

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I think the best insult to us rude Germans (looking at the language used in here, mostly incorrectly, I'd say you guys can't be that far behind) is that we have to endure a bunch of cry-babies from a small island up north.

I remember getting off a bus in Stratford and being greeted by a local with the Hitler salute. Or constant jokes about Lufthansa seats being out of human skins (concentration camps, geddit? hur hur hur).

Or German school kids being beaten up when on exchange because they are German.

I guess that is not rude but that famous British humor.

 

Oh and swearing in a foreign language that you can't speak properly always makes you look rather dumb.

read my post that started this thread u plonker!

i am asking from help to educate your people that been rude and nasty to strangers is not something to be happy about nor something they should do as part of their normal life.

if tyhe lnguage is not corret then correct it (in a nice helpful way) the treatment you and others suffered was diabolical but the beatings are done to brits by brits to(not something to be proud of either)

I also ask my german friends on their advice as they do not like the realatively common german way of being rude to each other or strangers for no reason.

please do not feel that all foreigners hate Germany and the people - most of us have many german friends and love staying in this country(the shit attitude of some germans aside)

 

ok lets get back to the insults :ph34r:

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ah, and before you insult me: I'm polite, if you're polite, we'll get along very well.

well said that woman :)

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from a small island up north

What, Iceland?

 

It's funny that, most Bavarians think they are Südländer ;) Or is it Norditaliener? Could you get a group of people that were more NOT Italian :lol:

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So more back to the topic of insulting germans. A good bayrisch phrase I picked up in some bar is "Du blöde Saugrippe" Of course you'll have to try to pull it off with a bayrisch accent but it works wonders.

Saugrippe meaning swinish cripple (Krüppel mutates to Grippn or Grippe in Bavarian) and has nothing at all to do with swine flu. Just to prevent any confusion.

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it is more like Grippl (as in "Du damischer Saugrippl" or more nicely meant as in "Ja, so ein Grippl" if someone has done something unsuspected). But I guess these are the inadequacies of a language that sounds different in every village ...

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yesterday popped into tenglemans for a few things and while in the queue was pushed in the back very hard by a young german guy so proceeded to not let him past until i berated him on not saying excuse me please(or whatever) and for quite a while before he could escape - talk about him being shocked, it was like he had no idea that he was doing something strange or rude. aaargh!!

 

THEN when i was leaving i saw a 40years old woman struggling with two bags so went way out of my way (which she saw me doing) to hold the door open for her with a smile - the bitch looked at me, dour faced, and walked out saying fuck all - then follows one of by now famous abusive torrents, she then turned round said something unaudible but with a smarmy smile on her coupon, which earned her another more abusive rant including a few steps towards her to intimidate her abit more (bad i know but aaargh!!!) feckin bint!! :angry:

 

think i might start carrying a water pistol around with me to squirt people if they act like that!! :)

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I have to confess I do find it amusing to pretend that I don't understand Germans when they speak English, never fails to piss 'em off, particularly when embellished with a "Why are you talking all strange" look.

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it is more like Grippl (as in "Du damischer Saugrippl" or more nicely meant as in "Ja, so ein Grippl" if someone has done something unsuspected). But I guess these are the inadequacies of a language that sounds different in every village ...

True, where I learned Bavarian (Aising/Rosenheim), they say Grippi.

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Same happened to me in Argentina. I went there on student exchange. It felt strange to get reduced to such a small period of German history. Something I haven't lived through myself. They seem to know nothing about us. But we, too, don't know that much about Argentina, maybe except that time when they had a military regime. But I, for my part, would never mention this to an Argentinian.

Well, I was born in Argentina but my grandparents are from Germany and Austria. When I tell that to Germans, they usually fire the question "When did they go to Argentina?" -in the 50s, I say-. And right after that "Oh, were they escaping from something?", or phrases like that... It happened to me many times.

This is actually the idea Germans have from themselves...

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I recently had an encounter on ebay (Germany), regarding a product I was selling .. with the entire advert in English.

 

I got a message from a user who said (in perfect english):

 

"How stupid of you to put an advertisement on the German Ebay in English. Do you think anybody will buy your crap junk when you don't write the details in German?"

 

I responded (in German):

 

"Well, in case you didn't notice, the civilized world won the war, and now the language of the world is English. I suggest you crawl back to your hole in Leipzig or wherever you come from and forget about any adverts in English. This is obviously not for you"

 

He subsequently bought the product :-)

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Well that showed him didn't it ?

 

We have diff ways of doing things and i personally hate the rush when waiting for the bus and all the S/ U bahn things BUT we all love it here so they must be doing something right ? oder ?

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Often if a bloke makes a snide comment, I'll actually challenge them to a fight. This tends to shut them up pretty sharpish.

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I recently had an encounter on ebay (Germany), regarding a product I was selling .. with the entire advert in English.

 

I got a message from a user who said (in perfect english):

 

"How stupid of you to put an advertisement on the German Ebay in English. Do you think anybody will buy your crap junk when you don't write the details in German?"

 

I responded (in German):

 

"Well, in case you didn't notice, the civilized world won the war, and now the language of the world is English. I suggest you crawl back to your hole in Leipzig or wherever you come from and forget about any adverts in English. This is obviously not for you"

 

He subsequently bought the product :-)

He did? Maybe he is some kind of masochist who only enjoys buying stuff from people who insult him :P

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was it Churchill who said "Germans are either at your throat or at your feet"

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