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The best way to insult Germans

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where is our local Essex girl on this thread anyway???

Discussing ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh verbs down the phone with a certain gent.

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'fuck off' just tumbles out of my mouth uncontrollably on reflex. usually quite effective though I have to say...in fact already used it this morning...

u do surprise me...aye right!!

 

 

yep, a German colleague confirmed this...'Sie Arschloch' is a whole lot more effective than 'Du Arschloch'. have yet to try it though cuz when I'm enraged, 'fuck off' just tumbles out of my mouth uncontrollably on reflex. usually quite effective though I have to say...in fact already used it this morning...

I had been told by my german friends about using the polite form is often seen as more insulting as it shows that you have thought about what you want to say nd therefore you do actually mean what you are saying rather than just ranting. (only germans could be so pompous to think they can judge if you REALLY meant to insult them or if you had a momentary lapse of control!)

there are many germans on this forum do you agree with the polite form is better to insult rude people?

 

also if you are crossing on red and an auld wifie starts giving out to you using "du" would it be better to use du to her to show you can also be "rude' that way too. or will she take it more as an insult to use "sie' to her? Although i am usually tempted in those cases to remain relatively polite and use Sie while asking her if she would mind telling me the name of her priest so I can dob her in for being such a miserable bitch with a very unchristian attitude! :D

but sadly i dont know how to say that and you would have to hope she is a catholic (highly likely if in bavaria though) :(

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I go with the Sie form when insulting people. It shows ice-cold control and they'll take more offence to it than if you use the du form with them.

 

German guys I know say things like "Wichser", "Du dumme Sau", "Du Arschleck" or "Schleimmfotze" to each other. But if you'd like a quick dig at a stranger you might try these:

 

-Sie Armleuchter

-Sie blöde Kuh (I use this one for women- you'll get a reaction using this one)

-Sie Denkzweg

 

I once heard my host mom say "Arsch mit Ohren" I thought that was pretty funny.

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Personally I find the Sie form easier as it is the same as the infinitive. Spills out much more easily than trying to work out how the du ending should be configured with -st

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So, I asked a German friend last night if someone is rude to me, can I say "Du/Sie arschloch"?" He said BETTER DON'T. There will be a (fee) penalty for that (verbal outrage). Anybody in the law to confirm this?!

 

I'm beginning to think that this country is worse than my own world-renowned "fine" country!

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How would they enforce such a law if it exists? Surely its just their word against yours then. Plus who defines an insult? If I insult them without cursing then is it okay?

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I think the (ex-Bayern?) footballer Stefan Effenberg was taken to court for calling a policeman an Arschloch so there probably is a law. Not sure there was a convinction though, for the reasons that SiM states

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Maybe insulting the police is a chargeable offence but what about another member of the public? If I call someone an Arschloch, I generally don't give out my personal details afterwards and wait around while they phone the police.

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Arschkeks is another good one (butt cookie)

:lol: Butt cookie (or biscuit- depending on where you're from, I guess). I like that. I might just start using that one in English. "Fuck off, butt cookie." :D

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I think the (ex-Bayern?) footballer Stefan Effenberg was taken to court for calling a policeman an Arschloch so there probably is a law. Not sure there was a convinction though, for the reasons that SiM states

Yes you can get fined for it. It's called "Beamtebeleidigung." So is giving the finger.

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I generally don't give out my personal details afterwards and wait around while they phone the police.

I'm not planning to either

 

 

Yes you can get fined for it. It's called "Beamtebeleidigung." So is giving the finger.

WOW! *Overwhelmed"

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"Fuck off, butt cookie."

Hey! I resemble that remark . . . . How about holding off until we're friends, k? :D

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Its the Sie Du thing isn't it. The way germans separate their world into people they know and "everyone else". But then its their cutlure not mine. Most Germans seem perplexed when I explain the above to them, but of course they would. They don't see the "off hand rude" nature but at the same time, they are alarmed and somewhat confused as to why the rest of the world finds them a bunch of arogant humerlous fuckers...

 

Okay - went off topic there, but yeah I just blow them a kiss. Works really any where in the world. Some one says to me "you shouldnt cross on a green man/stub your ciggerate in the street/stray a few centimeters onto a cycle track or (the cardinal sin apparently) cycle the "wrong way" up a cycle track... For all these comments I just turn, smile and blow them a kiss, regardless of sex, age or levels of agression...

 

Let's see them fucking SIE their way out that!

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Yes you can get fined for it. It's called "Beamtebeleidigung." So is giving the finger.

I remember this footballer thing, think it was in my area on the radio. He claimed he said "Schönen Abend Noch"... Nice try, but the state gave him the finger with a massive fine... I think afterwards his girlfriend was then taken to court by the state because she backed his statment up and as such commited perjury...

 

You have to wonder really... Are there no actual criminals in Germany or do these people just simply like the overtime?

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I think the best insult to us rude Germans (looking at the language used in here, mostly incorrectly, I'd say you guys can't be that far behind) is that we have to endure a bunch of cry-babies from a small island up north.

I remember getting off a bus in Stratford and being greeted by a local with the Hitler salute. Or constant jokes about Lufthansa seats being out of human skins (concentration camps, geddit? hur hur hur).

Or German school kids being beaten up when on exchange because they are German.

I guess that is not rude but that famous British humor.

 

Oh and swearing in a foreign language that you can't speak properly always makes you look rather dumb.

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Same happened to me in Argentina. I went there on student exchange. It felt strange to get reduced to such a small period of German history. Something I haven't lived through myself. They seem to know nothing about us. But we, too, don't know that much about Argentina, maybe except that time when they had a military regime. But I, for my part, would never mention this to an Argentinian.

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