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If your parents hosted the Olympics Ceremony

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I can just imagine if my parents had hosted the Olympic Ceromony things would definately be done diff. First off my old man would have made everyone pray before the start. Then he would have done some elaborate tribute to Ronny Reagan and Margie Thatcher. Cool thing would be that he would hand out everyone a firecracker of some sort to use to everyone , man that dude loved fireworks. Everyone would have to buy my grandmothers cooking which would be fucking awesome, up yours donnrinna. Then he would have made us kids work the whole thing saying how he had to blah blah at 4am blah blah when was a kid on the farm.

 

The worst part would be my mother. She would say two things listen to what your father says he know right, and the whole world will be watching so dont embarass me in front of my friends.

 

And yours?

 

See also Olympic Games 2012 My country is better than yours.

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My Ma would cook for everybody, then make sure that no Mormons were on the MOC (Ma's Olympic Committee). There would be a tribute to her London B&B hostess from 1977. Some nasty comments would pass on various crowned and non-crowned heads of state, and Avery Brundage would be burned in effigy.

 

My Dad is dead but he would make sure that everyone wore a minimum of clothing only, and that everyone got wine to go with Ma's cooking.

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Like a smorgesboard? Wouldn't work for me the Oregonians in the group would gripe the serving knives had touched meat and now the salad is tainted. Yet for god sakes dont throw the salad away that would be a waste.

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Me mum would have put the kettle on and made a nice cuppa, possibly with flapjacks. Dad would reach for the bottle of Whiskey and moaned that there's no proper footie on and hoping that the poncing athletes don't tear up the turf too much before The 'ammers take over their 'rightful' stadium for the start of The Premiership season.

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My mom would have baked loads of cakes, including making marzipan flowers to decorate them with and she would have made some bread dishes with aspargus and ham and some with shrimp salad. My dad would have made the coffee and told some jokes.

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My mother would have just organised a walking group trip over the green and pleasant land.

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My mum would chat with every single athlete, telling them all about her kids and grandkids, while my dad pours everyone a sherry

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would probably be themed along the lines of "compassionate patriotism" or "USA we're number one, fair rights for all, unless it makes us less number one than we are now", plus an interpretive dance which makes pulling oneself up by the bootstraps look modern, innovative and sexy, with some John Philip Sousa dubbed over a Madonna track, accompanied by both flag waving and flag burning (ideally simultaneously), and for the grand finale, a corny, sappy statement about energy conservation, while using enough electricity to power a small solar system to get the message across.

 

boomers are confusing

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If my parents hosted the Olympics, first there would be 9,000 little old Catholic ladies cleaning the stadium at 4:00 in the morning just for the sheer correctness of the stadium being cleaned. The edge of every aisle would have a handmade flower arrangement with a suitable amount of baby's breath. The entire thing would be catered by the family's catering company from Cleveland supervised by enough gumbas to put the fear of God into any hooligans and/or miscellaneous ne'er do wells. Everyone would get stuffed full of baked ziti and lasagne with bacala and chianti.

 

Dessert would be a generous helping of tiramisu.

 

The stadium seats would be replaced with generously overstuffed couches on which all of the belching, farting guests would nod off only awaking to cheer some sport or another then sleep again in the boring bits.

 

Coffee would be served later in the evening and blankets passed around for anyone who just felt like going to bed.

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My mom LOVES to organize, so she would have fun with this.

 

Big changes in the sports chosen, it would have been all synchronized swimming with an occasional 10 min. here and there of floor gymnastics with ribbons, or some pair roller skating. Music would have been "These Boots Were Made for Walking" or some other elevator music, perhaps something by Karen Carpenter.

 

Womens' outfits - mini-skirts, Playtex Cross-your-heart bras and tight t-shirts. Make-up by Mary Kay.

Mens' outfits - nice slacks, button down shirts

 

Dad would have planned the food. Plenty of Baskin-Robbins, corn on the cob, and BBQ.

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Dad would have planned the food. Plenty of Baskin-Robbins, corn on the cob, and BBQ.

 

I may sound bias on this ,but your old man sounds like a cool f**k**g dude.

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I want Eleanor Rigby's mother to organise it.

 

It'd start off with skinny dipping. There would be endless inappropriate comments and she'd make all the athletes stand in rude poses for the photographers.

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My Ma would cook for everybody, then make sure that no Mormons were on the MOC (Ma's Olympic Committee).

 

My Mormon parents would have made it a potluck, as all Mormon parties are. There would be no booze, and no Sara's Ma. :P

 

btw, Dad was a volunteer at the Utah Olympics.

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Mum would only agree to host it if Reiki was added as an Olympic sport. Dad would insist that every country sang the Welsh national anthem instead of their own.

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I love this thread and the hilarious behavior exhibited by the parents.

My mother would serve Spanish Noodles (a dish from the 1920s which features canned corn) and we'd all eat at the picnic table beneath the (restored) pepper tree. All of my mother's dogs - German shepherds, mongrels, toy poodles, papillons, mini-dachshunds, Italian greyhounds, Aussies and border collies - would be resurrected and the only event would be my mother presenting dog obedience trials.

My father would be uneasy around all the foreigners, but he'd try to be pleasant. And maybe my mother would allow him more than one beer, if it was on a Sunday.

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My dad would go witless with safety concerns. If it were left to him, I'd still be living at home, never going anywhere by myself.

 

So no diving, no fencing, no martial arts, no volleyball (you could get a ball in your face.. well.. okay.. but only with safety goggles), cyclists would have to be spaced well apart, no synchronised swimming, gymnastics.. no.. what if you slipped and broke a leg or arm? And so on.

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