Introducing yourself to the neighbors

[loz_adele 840]

different strokes for different folks

[Spoilt_Brat 2]

 

 

Germans are unfriendly?

 

Only my neighbours. I will dance and run my washing machine whenever the fuck I like.

[Oblomov 865]

Quite strange. There is no obligation to formally introduce yourself. I usually only knocked on the doors of the immediate neighbours on the same floor prior to moving in to tell them that we would move in and "sorry for any inconvenience". Job done.

For everyone else living in the same house it was sufficient to say hello when I met them on the staircase or wherever.

I don't understand the panic about meeting the neighbours, though. What's the big issue about that? Aren't there always complaints in this forum about the difficulties of getting into contact with the locals?

[iUki 6]

They are just like politicians...they Talk Out of both sides of their mouth.

[matajari 239]

 

In general I'm OK with the fact that Larry David is pretty much the only person alive who makes me feel relatively sane, but we've just got a new next-door neighbor, which has got me to thinking.

 

What does the fact that your idol Larry David created a television series which derrived a good part of its plot lines from the very close relationship between neighbours in a city 6times the size of Berlin and immeasurably more anonymous tell you?

 

How much poorer would our lives be had Larry been you and never allowed his real life neighbour Kenny Kramer to snoop into his apartement at will?

[Bipa 5,814]

 

I don't understand the panic about meeting the neighbours, though. What's the big issue about that? Aren't there always complaints in this forum about the difficulties of getting into contact with the locals?

 

No, most complaints in this forum are about too much contact with snooping neighbours who spy on everyone, go through trash, and get upset when everything isn't done to their satisfaction.

 

It's funny how there's no concept of a welcome wagon in Germany, but they've certainly got the concept of the Paddy wagon down pat.

[dessa_dangerous 13,315]

rodisi: someone's being extroverted means they need to want to have people around them all_the_time? There are no boundaries? It is not possible both to be extroverted and to want, when you get home, to go inside your house and just relax, because we are meant to be tireless and indiscriminate interaction robots? I think you are maybe the one with the twisted idea about what extroversion is.

 

matajari: I said I liked Larry David, not that I wanted to be him. To be honest I don't give a fuck who lives across the hall from me, if I want to meet strange and unusual characters I can always attend a TT meetup. :)

[westvan 9,706]

Being an extrovert doesn't preclude having certain social phobias just as being an introvert (waves hand) doesn't mean you're no good at small talk and social niceties. Both groups can be choosy about the people they want to spend time with.

[onemark 787]

dessa_dangerous:

 

To a large extent I sympathise with you. When I moved into my new place just over 4 years ago I didn't go round introducing myself because it never occurred to me but I would never have done so even if it had occurred to me. One neighbour (since gone) introduced himself to me so I told him my name & what I do for a living. The same was the case with the neighbour who now lives in his old place. I had no problem with that in either case. However, there is a woman who lives opposite me to whom I have not introduced myself but whom I say "Guten Tag" or Guten Abend" when our paths cross. (I assume she knows about me from the aforementioned neighbour who is nice enough but a little too outgoing for my taste.

 

Generally, if people I know greet me, I will greet them back. (Parenthetically, I still consider absolutely fcuk-witted to greet passers-by on the street whom I don't know & will never see again.) On the other hand I also treasure my privacy.

 

However, I have found it useful to maintain a friendly relationship with a small handful of neighbours PRECISELY BECAUSE the buggers can be useful, as in the examples quoted above. And because I live on the ground floor (US: 1st floor) of our building, I'm also happy to take parcels for other people if they're not at home. I find it costs me nothing and if ever I should need something, they might be prepared to help. (But I also have really good friends in the same town on whom I know I can rely.) So, if for no other reason, you don't necesarily want to totally ignore your neighhbours, either.

 

Up to you.

[rodisi 657]

 

If I were any other normal human being, I wouldn't open the door to me, so there's an element of not wanting to be a part of any club that would have me as a member,

 

 

 

I don't want to set the precedent of having to make small talk with my neighbors every time I pass them in the Treppenhaus.

 

 

In general I'm OK with the fact that Larry David is pretty much the only person alive who makes me feel relatively sane,

 

 

Or do you live in the silent terror that one day everybody in your building will know your name and what you do for a living?

 

 

I dread having to have the same conversations but with 15 new householders, a mere 50 meters from our old apartment.

 

 

I don't know my neighbors and I don't want to.

Let's say we differ on the definition.

[dessa_dangerous 13,315]

LOL

 

Well, to be honest, I'd much rather say you don't have the first clue what you're talking about, but saying we differ on the definition wouldn't be a lie either, it's just that your "definition" isn't a definition in the slightest, it's some throw-away quotes taken out of context and strung together in order to describe, in earnest, my entire_personality. Internet arguing at its truly finest. However, I'd be almost concerned if I started a thread and someone didn't do exactly that; as it is, all is just as it should be.

 

:rolleyes:

[perdido 6,083]

 

Let's say we differ on the definition.

 

I would have never thought that...never.

[kiplette 8,802]

There are large houses either side of us, a small family of Greeks/turks on one side, a small family of Hermanns on the other, holding up our smaller house with 4 kids and mostly 1 adult in the middle. They were surprisingly nice to us when we moved in, given that the walls are not that thick, but we all met on the street - or through the back fence, no formal knocking on doors.

 

To date, the one side have taken parcels, warned us about a marder in the roof space, warned us when the chickens have escaped into theirs and laughed their socks off watching us recapture them, fussed over our cat when she gets locked out, and been very pleased when we sorted the junky front yard into a respectable space.

 

The other side offer us old clothes from their kids (but not free - most odd), ask stuff about when we are going to sort the back of the place out, and dropped the bombshell of the 9m length of our wall on their side which was not rendered. We spent a happy couple of days up ladders doing DIY badly so that he joined in and did it better - result - Brilliant wall, good nachbarschaft moment.

 

I do still cringe when I go out the back with washing and he is working in the garden because I don't want to chat.

 

I think it is totally normal to want to have control over our social interraction to a degree, particularly at home.I agree that unless you want to spend your life keeping a show home, then only the people who you trust to realise that living in an indoor tank-firing range does not define you as gross, can come in. And the kids friends, unfortunately.

[featherlight 1,368]

The old lady nextdoor had her house converted so that her daughter and grandchildren could move in. We knew them already from their Sunday visits which mainly consisited of scenes of bedlam with them running riot the whole time and the older boy making the young one cry. Constantly.

 

One day we got the knock at the door from the daughter and her hubby. They were delighted to inform us that we were soon to be neighbours. On that occasion my diplomatic skills failed me completely as my heart sank, my jaw dropped and in shock I begged to be told it was a joke... that was the end of a beautiful neighbourly relationship before it even began.

 

(The post script reads like a bad dream. Some of it can be found on TT.)

 

@Kiplette: let me guess: the Greeks sell you the hand-me-downs, right? ;)

[kiplette 8,802]

Yes - 'designer' knock-offs...

[Deteled 6]

We own the building so had to invite the new tenants to a BBQ last year. They have two daughters, 8 and 6 I think. The husband was one of the last people at the party. Guess he didn’t want to go home. I soon found out why. We live downstairs from them and since they moved in there is nothing but noise. They scream at their children constantly. And the children cry constantly. They would put the metal 'Rolladen' up at 6 am waking me up an hour before my alarm clock. We spoke to them five times about this issue and noise in general. But they would start again after a short pause. A few weeks ago, I finally lost it and threatened legal action. The husband came down the next evening on my husband's invitation. They came to some kind of agreement and will only raise the shutters after 7 am. The noise is still unacceptable but at least the wife understands how much I can't stand them. Yesterday, we passed each other and didn't speak!!! Ahhh, how wonderful - Passive Aggression :lol:

[Dragonseer 227]

Crikey,listening to all the complaints,reading of the desparate actions to avoid neighbours,I must consider my situation to be a blessing.

Having moved to Bonn only 16months the only issues I have had with neighbours is the one who live directly above me.

Presently renting what used to be an old restaurant and apart from the people peering in at various times asking if we are open to business,or checking out if it is still a restaurant,our neighbours have been friendly on either side and not over the top inquisitive or nosey or noisy.

In regard to my Live Above Me(LAMs) neighbours they are a bit of a mixed bag in regard to a number of areas but they are pleasant enough generally.

As all of the utilities for my LAMs run through my basement area I am called upon to be available for tradesman to check for faults,such as heating power or phone which does cause inconvenience for me,but thats the price of close quarter living.

I think that is the main issue for most,if your not used to living in your neighbours pocket then it does become an issue socially.

I dont go out of my way for my neighbours generally but have lent my car,help them clean outside areas even if not my job or responsibility,taken misdiricted mail to the door and given it to them,even played with their dogs.But I dont have an issue in being neighbourly as maybe one day I will need their help or them mine and that is a key point.Even garbage bins being put out can cause dramas but my neigbours have helped me in this area and me, them, in getting the bins back.

Now some have said that they are bicultural,luckily I have lived in a multicultural societies for all of my life and used to some of the quirks different nationalities have,especially my own as an Australian.

We aussies,in most cases love a yarn,BBQs (real ones),having a chat so we can suss ot our neighbours so no boundaries are transgresssed as we do love our own spaces (hence the love of big backyards,own homes etc).Additionally this cultural quizzing allows us to also set our boundaries for others to respect.Keep your friends close but your enemies closer so to speak.

Unfortunately nowadays social etiquette is not practiced as much as before due to the transient nature of the world and overpopulation,but having said that I am actually enjoying my time here,not living in fear of social interaction as some and I would class my self as a extroverted introvert.Love meeting people so long as they dont want to know every move I make,or how many times a day I urinate, and they allow me my space.

 

I have found that by smiling and just being me(even when being honest may offend) and being polite socially where ever possible (I am an Aussie after all) has allowed me to enjoy my time here to date.Hopefully I will survive the rigours of social interaction and continue to live as peacefully as possible with my neighbours without having to resort to the old tried method of "Ill kill the bastards if they keep doing that" cheers

[rodisi 657]

 

To date, the one side ....warned us about a marder in the roof space, ...

Have you got rid of it and if so how?

[kiplette 8,802]

Sorry - only just spotted your question, rodisi. To be honest, it has never bothered me and I have never seen or heard it. The neighbour was warning me because the chickens were not always going in at night, and he was worried about their safety. I think if I wanted it gone, I would start by borrowing one of those things which emits a pulse, or sound or something which the marder hates and which people buy for their cars to prevent chewed wires. Hopefully that would make it shove off into spmeone else's roofspace!

 

That's only a first thought, we are back in Germany tomorrow, and I shall ask around for any better ideas.