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Expat characters in Germany

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After reading that Geoff Harries has passed away(i didn't know him but he seemed a bit of a character) i was thinking about all the expat characters I've met over the years,i think in the 80,s when i first came over, the type of expat was a different type of person as to those who come today(no disrespect intended)there seemed to be more characters,i think it was more of an adventure and the expats i met had nearly all had some sort of problem in their home country be it that they were adopted,wife had died,no mother/father since birth or young age no family or whatever everyone seemed to have a burden to bare.I met big Eric from Canada (7ft tall and built like a brick shit house) son of the Canadian diplomat in Germany,a gentle giant who smoked dope 24/7 a fantastic bloke who never quite got the reconition from his dad that he craved for,sadly he passed away quite young,Stuart Briggs an absolute nutter shagged anything with a skirt on ,used to wash his car in the snow wearing shorts and Tshirt crazy guy but with a heart of gold if you ever needed help he would be the first on the doorstep but if you upset him he,d punch you,pick you up and buy you a beer, the way it should be, there have been many others over the years mark the window cleaner,kevin married to a prostitute but never caught on,Big Harry Rome another great guy and also a punch you pick you up buy you beers all night guy,but my favourite (and best friend until he passed away :( )was"Noddy" Hilary Carrington we did some crazy things together,we went sailing and lost our boat,went sailing broke the mast trying to dry our undies,messed up a sailing regatta in Belgium because we were stoned and ended up in a pub where they were showing it on tv and all the locals complaining about the stupid people messing up their regatta(dives under table in pub) i miss him dearly he went to the christmas market in Dusseldorf in his underpants to drink glühwein!when asked why he said it's not cold enough to appreciate the glühwein,he didn't pay for a glühwein allnight,i would hope that some of you have met one of the above mentioned if not what great expat characters have you met? tell us your stories!

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Great idea for a thread, bobby! You sound like a nutter yourself - would l :P ove to meet you!! ( Hope you don´t punch me and buy me a beer...the other way around´s ok!! ).

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I,ve never punched people john just drink their beer/CIDERgot a lot more stories but face to face is better and it will happen soon promise!

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Quiet night tonight, bobby. I reckon all the characters people on Toytown have met are having a snooze and getting ready for Lindenstrasse tomorrow...times seem to have changed. I have! I´m a boring bugger these days, brushing teeth sometimes and rubbing in Voltaren here and there. Your body parts need soothing, you know, when you´re no longer gallavanting around and going to wild parties.

 

IF no one senseless ( afraid FarmerAndy isn´t around tonight ) is willing to out themselves here, I´ll have to step in with some stories about wild non-Toytown expats. The night is young...

Toytowners: take your time, no rush, take it easy, all the time in the world..oh COME ON!! :)

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I was at a pub earlier today and asked the bartender to punch me, hoping I'd get a free beer as a result. (He did, yet no beer). Is there a secret password I should have said at some point?

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Maybe something like "you,re an ugly twat"

 

I hope that means Guinness, not Kilkenny's.

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went sailing broke the mast trying to dry our undies

 

What a load of Ballacks, I've never heard of such a thing in my life! Undies made of lead instead of cotton, right? What's next? Messing up a regatta in Belgium!?

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Noblesse oblige, bobby! I thought Pete and Dud would get you going but anyway...

 

The new thread title: Expat Characters NOT in Germany ( the subtitle bit remains cool..)

 

A lonely young man´s tale ( before he ended up on this weird website thing ):

 

The wierdest

 

Just off the top of my head..no particular chronology...

 

..the guy from Northampton I met in Patagonia who didn´t have a zip on his trousers. He used half of an old sock and sewed it around the crotch area to make amends. I believe he had some kind of belt.

 

..the Chairman of British Petroleum ( late 1970s ) who was on a lecture tour of universities. He was supposed to give a talk in Sao Paulo ( Brazil ), having been in Buenos Aires. He took a bus , asked the driver to stop everywhere so he could have a gin and tonic and ended up pissed as a rat in Iguazu ( Argentina ). I was wandering around poor and hippy-ish and this guy, 60 years old, portly with a bow tie , said in a posh accent " I´m lost ". We ended up in a great restaurant with him, really pissed, saying " I´ve got dollars, pounds, Deutschmarks. " I accepted his offer of dinner as did all the bystanders in a poor town! :D Turned out he was a world expert on the Gulf Stream and he sent me his book at some stage...met him in London years later at his club in Mayfair and he bought me oysters ( and all the suits took notes about me...but way above my level..nothing came of it! Can´t remeber his name..)

 

..a young guy from Chicago I met at an airport in Nassau..flight delayed so he unbuttoned his shirt, took out a lighter and burnt his chest hairs.

 

Do you really wanna hear more, bobby? B)

 

..cos I´m sleepy!

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What a load of Ballacks, I've never heard of such a thing in my life! Undies made of lead instead of cotton, right? What's next? Messing up a regatta in Belgium!?

 

What happened was that stuart(see above) ,hoisted his wet undies(wet because he had towed the boat (swimming)as there was no wind)to the top of the mast,and when he tried to retrieve them the rope snapped,so he got another rope and lassoed the mast and tried to pull the boat/mast down which resulted in the mast snapping,the man we rented the boat from was not impressed(he was even less impressed when we lost his boat two years later but thats another story),at my first party in D/Dorf stuart went to the toilet(roof apartment)locked the door climbed out of the window,scrambled across the roof ,knocked on the kitchen window we opened and let him in and didn't think anything more about it until most guests were crossing there legs and waiting for the toilet to be free again,stuarts only comment was "looks like more beer for us chaps!"

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Mike, from Yorkshire, long-haired., golden flowing locks :

1. hitchiking in New York..aim was San Francisco..guy stops in car and say " where´re you going, man? " " San Francisco ", Driver " I´m going to Bolivia ". Mike: " Ok. "

 

2. Mike and driver get to Panama and have to sell the car. Bit of money. They make it to Colombia and the Amazon town called Leticia. Buy a canoe. Mike only possesses long hair, pair of shorts..they canoe along the Amazon to Brazil and get arrested for illegal immigration.

 

3. Mike: forgot..whilst in Colombia, he ends up at a party and meets an undertaker who asks where he´s staying.. " erm, well ,this is it..". Ends up in a coffin for a week ( without a lid...he was claustrophic " ).

 

4. Mike: you know those stories about a husband who comes home and there is a wife´s lover hidden in a wardrobe and he doesn´t find out? You´ve seen the old movies? Yep, Mike in Rio.

 

5. RIP, Mike. That binge fucking killed you - three days non-stop boozing. You left behind your parents, your friends. Don´t do it next time, ok? I miss you, man.

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He said to Dad " I´m going to South America tomorrow, Dad ". He woke up, no one home, dad had gone to work, took 3 bloody suitcases onto the street..milkman let him on his cart and took him to London Road in Southend on Sea, Essex, England. He hitchhiked to London, discarding a suitcase on the way. He took the train/boat to Bonn and then, one suitcase lighter , took the flight on Laker Airways from a snow-ridden Luxemburg to the Bahamas. Three days in the heat with no money to get from the airport downtown.

Ended up at the Salvation Army, exchanging one shirt a night for a bed.

 

Long story, but he ended up with a one week visa in the USA and stayed seven months, hitchhiking around and working illegally ( and getting a tax rebate the year after! )..and then ended up hitchhiking through Mexico, Central America and South America and in those 7 years or so met Mike!

 

Funnily enough, his Brazilian wife and Mike´s Brazilian wife both announced the end of the marriages the same day in the same building in London years later! :D Conspiracy theory!!

 

The difference between him and Mike: he is still alive - Mike: you fucking bastard...

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I know how you feel john,stuart had a problem,blood clot or something like that,on the way to the appointment at the the doctors to have the small op he should have walked past the pub,but he didn't he went in for his( as it turned out to be his last )pint,stupid twat!why oh why didn't you just go to the pub after the op.

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Yep, bobby mate, why do our friends and loved ones do this to their friends and loved ones? Because, basically , they made that decision or failed to make another decision. The choice was there...I know it sounds harsh but you have to make that choice: live or not, be or not be, enjoy another 10 or 50 years or not. You can´t help it if you´re born with an illness or have an accident or an illness later despite trying to live healthily but there is the choice to say: I want to live.

 

Disclaimers: you come from an absolutely poverty-stricken country with no education. That´s hard.

You come from a non-absolutely poverty-stricken country but with pig ignorant parents. Also hard

 

..you don´t care about yourself enough. Then it´s REALLY a shame.

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sadly he passed away quite young,

 

Nice thread.

 

The sentence above sticks out. Sad how many of the "characters" seem to pop their clogs very early on innit?

 

Mine, not here more in Saudi. Being in a somewhat upper class family one doesn't mingle with the amazing people anymore, sadly - expats larger than life.

 

Mine? Having a fling with one of those nurses who bumped off their colleague back in Saudi in 1996, six weeks before she did it.

 

The gay Oregonian (I'm not but he respected that) who dumped his dope garden upon me whilst running naked round his apartment packing then leaving the door open to his flat where cats came and went. I panicked (having even a spliff in Saudi can get you 5 years) and I locked his flat up 3 days. I went downstairs (his flat was below mine) and his flat was full of catshit.

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