Life without alcohol

575 posts in this topic

Which of the 12 steps are we on now?

 

I wonder if part of the problem is missing the buzz you get when alcohol loosens your inhibitions and you find yourself doing things you wouldn't normally do (even if these are sometimes dumbass things to be doing!).

 

It might sound stupid (probably means it is) but maybe join a theatre group or singing group or something where you perform in public and then you might find after a while you don't need the alcohol to feel more socially at ease or to be confident enough walk across the floor and chat up somebody in a bar or get up and sing karaoke or dance with a traffic cone on your head or whatever it is you do when drunk...

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I'm terribly cheap to get tipsy. Half a glass of white wine spritzer and I feel all light-headed.

 

 

 

As I tell people, expensive wines are wasted on me as I can just about tell the difference between wine and vinegar.

 

Half a glass of wine, and a cheap wine at that...

 

Oh Nina, where were you when I was a penniless student? :D

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:D

 

Very likely.

 

But that didn't mean to say that I didn't go round to parties at some friends' house or go to inter-hall discos. I drank just enough to get a bit mischievious, but not too much that I didn't know what I was doing.

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Hey Schotte, don't be embarrassed for being in your late twenties and having to reassess certain things. I don't know all the details of why you decided to give up drinking but I think I have a good idea of how you feel and what you're going through. When i started uni, I started to drink a lot on nights out like most people do, but it wasn't until I went on my semester abroad to france followed by a year abroad to germany as a teaching assistant that I really went crazy. I'm naturally a very shy person and felt very out of my element, so I started drinking, first just to settle my nerves when meeting new people, then it was to settle my nerves before eating dinner with my french host family, then it was to settle my nerves before work... and you can see where it's going. I did a lot of really stupid shit over the years because of alcohol, including waking up in a german hospital, which was the turning point for me, and so I know that feeling you have right now of self-loathing and wanting to change and not knowing if you can. I know how drinking makes you feel even more sad than you usually feel. I've never been addicted to alcohol, it was more that i used it as a way of erasing the feelings of self-consciousness and shyness so that i could be someone ppl liked, when i was probably a complete twat. Anyway, i didnt touch it for a long time after the hospital incident and it was hard facing all the ppl who had seen me get carried away in an ambulance, they must have thought I was a nutjob, even now I dont really like to think or talk about it cos it brings back the feelings of shame, but at the same time I'm proud of myself that I picked myself up and faced things. Well, I was actually in my early twenties when that happened, I'm now in my late twenties and I do still drink but I try to do it in moderation. I have still had a few times a couple of years ago where i was going through a bad time and binge drank which led to some more stupid stuff and I hurt a few people, which I regret terribly but it was nothing like as bad as before, and you live and you learn and I've (hopefully!) got myself together now. I dont think I could ever give it up completely, I still sometimes feel the need to drink a glass of wine to relax when I'm in certain situations but I'm much better at controling it now. And I'm a thousand more times confident than i was then and I have the strength to say no now. The trick is when you go out with your mates, assuming you dont want to give up alcohol altogether, just have one or two and drink them much more slowly, you could try opting out of rounds - this is what used to get me wasted, my friends can drink about 3 times what i can and wont feel a thing and if you try to keep up, you're doomed. Eventually they'll be too pissed to notice you're still on your third beer or have switched to softdrinks. Although, like others have said, real friends wont pressure you anyway. Good luck and try not to beat yourself up about whatever you did, none of us is perfect and life is messy, you've got to learn to live with your actions - even the stupid ones :).

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BS. That's the only reason I drink. I love the complexity of a fine whiskey, tequila or wine. I love the way a good wine can enhance and complement a good meal, and I like trying different kinds of beers. I don't often drink cocktails, as I find them too expensive for what you get, but when I do, I drink them for the taste, not the alcohol content. It's why I don't do shots (what's the point?). Why does drinking alcohol have to mean getting drunk? I drink. I like alcoholic beverages. I very rarely get drunk.

 

Read the post i replied to. The complexity of a whisky has little to do with Ethanol. Ethanol wlll always taste the same.

 

Ok, i might have failed at irony, but the age old argument "i don't like the taste of alcohol" (which is understandable) doesn't mean that people who drink, do it because they actually like the taste of ethanol.

 

You wouldn't like the fine whisky or wine, if ethanol didn't have a relaxing EFFECT even in small ammounts.

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You could tell your mates (on your trip back home) that you're on medication that will cancel out if you drink alcohol. That way, they will be more concerned about your health than the fact that you're not joining them in drinking.

 

Your late 20s are a good time to reassess your life and your goals and where you want your next decade to end up. Try to picture yourself in your late 30s and see that this reassessment was a good time for you and your future. You're maturing and seeing yourself hung over isn't pretty or healthy and possibly deadly. I think you should be proud that you've discovered that drinking like that; isn't so much 'fun' anymore which is where the emptiness is probably coming from. Good Luck.

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Apparently it can take 6 months to be mentally normally again (no anxiety, improved self esteem and confidence, calmer, less irritable, more energy and desire to do productive things) if you have been hitting it hard for a while. This seems a while but is some incentive. Currently a week short of the longest I've gone since I started drinking 10+ years ago and at least this is a personal choice not because I was in a dry place like that time. Still uncomfortable with the idea of being "that person who doesn't drink" - you always wonder about them don't you.

 

Couldn't find a thread on quitting drinking anywhere but to be fair I'd never have gone to Germany the times I did if it wasn't for Oktoberfest and the beers!

 

Discuss if you feel so inclined

 

Regarding the physical symptoms of withdrawing from alcohol, I don't know exactly how long they last, but I do know abruptly abstaining from alcohol can have some serious health consequences.

 

My brother went into delirium tremens(DTs) twice when he stopped drinking and had episodes of seizures, disorientation, and hallucinations that landed him in a hospital.

 

I'm not trying to alarm anyone, but DTs can be dangerous and even life threatening. So I would encourage any one who have been regularly drinking a considerable amount of alcohol for a long time and want to stop to consider consulting a doctor so you can have the right kind of medical support to withdraw with the least amount of potentially dangerous side effects.

 

Delirium tremens info.

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Top marks for you to realise you want to stop something maybe before it evolves.

 

I'm a very very occasional drinker and can usually be found sipping the Schorles when everyone else has a real drink and it don't bother me none :D

 

Rock Shandy is nice, the different Schorles are refreshing and yes, an alk free cocktail can be very yummy indeed. Just try and see what's best for you.

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Regarding the physical symptoms of withdrawing from alcohol, I don't know exactly how long they last, but I do know abruptly abstaining from alcohol can have some serious health consequences.

 

A quailified i.e. in hospital, detox is required as, in the case of Amy Winehouse the sudden withdrawal of the substance which the body has become dependent on brings its own problems amongst them presssure on the heart. Usual treatment in Germany is Benzos (benzodiazepines - reducing over a period of one week), probably Benzodiazepam (valium) as a muscle relaxant, Clomethiazol (distraneurin usually called distra) and/or Atosil. The most dangerous period is up to 96 hours after last alcohol consumption and physical signs such as the shakes should disappear after 1-2 weeks. No alcoholic should ever attempt to detox at home.

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if you want to love yourself. Others will love you, too.

 

Was excited to read what you had written when I saw you had posted JohnG as ever a good one, thanks :) This quote, its funny I only heard this from the manager of my local at home who jokes about being my away from home mother! She said the same thing and I'd never heard it before but it seems very appropriate. So thanks for reminding me of it as I had forgotten!

 

Glad you never fell off that cliff!!! It's ridiculous looking back on the stuff you've done when drunk. I've never fallen off a cliff but was nearly dared into diving off a bridge into the Seine early last year. Only a matter of hours after I'd scarred an arse cheek for life in a drinking game. Madness. Sometimes I'm just glad to be here :)

 

 

Regarding the physical symptoms of withdrawing from alcohol, I don't know exactly how long they last, but I do know abruptly abstaining from alcohol can have some serious health consequences.

 

My brother went into delirium tremens(DTs) twice when he stopped drinking and had episodes of seizures, disorientation, and hallucinations that landed him in a hospital.

 

I believe from reading up about it online physical symptons are gone within 5-7 days. I didn't have an option to drink for the first 2 nights after I "decided" to stop so in hindsight I was almost half way there after that. I don't even know what this 12 steps thing is and at almost 30 days I think I'm probably too late now. :blink:

 

DTs look an absolute nightmare I've a mate had them once. They can even lead to death I gather. Hope your bro was ok LR, sounds like he had a tough old time of it.

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Schotte: we´ve had a couple of PM exchanges in the past few decades..must meet for a beer or two . Ok, let´s make it a cup of tea! ( Coffee is giving me the :D shakes these days...my new addiction..damn...should look in the bathroom mirror etc!!)

 

Forgot to mention: the cliff was bad enough but I fell over on the same holiday into a thyme bush (!!!) and broke a bone in my shoulder!!! Couldn´t swim the rest of the holiday..wasn´t sure why..

 

Got back to Hamburg and the Unfallarzt in Harburg took x-rays , looked at me and said " Es ist gebrochen!! ".

 

I won´t have a coffee or tea with him!!! ( By the way, he´s a Crete fan!! ).

 

By the by the way, put some thyme into my chicken and aubergine curry tonight!! It´s what you do whe :P n you´re no longer " out to lunch" !!

I´m on your side!

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I was drinking more when I lived in Germany... stress and general unhappiness. Then I'd get on TT and post random, stupid shit. :lol: I probably still drink too much, because I've been feeling like I should cut back. I can't easily get through an entire bottle of wine, though, so when I read 2-3 bottles of wine, I think WOW.

 

Schotte, I applaud you for what you are doing. And I bet you are still a fun and humorous guy without the drink! A lot healthier, too. :)

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My uncles all ended up with cirrhosis. My father was saved by my mother, who said to him, "George, since I'm pregnant we're not going to be able to party any more." He agreed to one beer a week, on Sunday. I'm glad we were spared from the unpleasant drunk he could have been. Kudos to you, Schotte, and the others who've kicked the bottle before they kicked the bucket.

 

Addendum: When they partied he was an unpleasant drunk, pinching waitresses, etc. And though he was good and gentle to our mother and us, he was an angry, hostile, resentful man with a two-pack-a-day cigaret habit. Thank God for my mother's good sense, and thank God double plus for my father's good sense in listening to her!

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I've had my adventurous youth times a lifetime ago (mind that I just turned 30, those days were when I was 16-20).

Drank pretty much everything which was being marketed as an alcoholic drink - and some which weren't marketed for legal reasons.

Started smoking when I was 16 as well.

 

Gave up serious drinking when I was 20, maybe 21 - had some beers every now and then, sometimes more, sometimes less. For the past two years or so, I don't think I've ever had more than three beers a week - and those usually come while watching a football game. I sometimes just don't feel like drinking and that's it.

Last year (actually more than a year, but anyway) I decided to quit smoking. Went from 30-40 cigs a day to zero within three weeks. Everybody was stunned, yours truly included. People didn't believe I could, I couldn't believe how easy it was.

 

Funny enough, none of the decisions were made under any sort of pressure (peer, girlfriend, doctor). I just wanted to do it.

 

Good luck mate, maybe we'll meet for a beer (or two, or three) some day. Or a coffee. Or some tea.

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Schotte: we´ve had a couple of PM exchanges in the past few decades..must meet for a beer or two . Ok, let´s make it a cup of tea! ( Coffee is giving me the shakes these days...my new addiction..damn...should look in the bathroom mirror etc!!)

 

Mate, I just noticed the other day I have a word document where I had pasted a reply to your last message with the intention of sending to you, as for some reason I can't send messages through this at times. No idea why its happened with other folk too. Will forward at some point but a bit late now I guess!

 

I know what you mean about coffee, I have been converted to tea now! Find it calming :)

 

Thanks for your post Dessa :) Would you be able to suggest a wee timeline or something of benefits you noticed yourself, physical and / or mental? I've googled about and I know it is different for everyone but there isn't much out there. I'm keeping a diary and what not, even skimming back over last few weeks it is becoming more positive reading which is really pleasing me. First few days I was in a total pit of despair!!

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Schotte. Just out of curiosity, I looked at your profile again! Love it!

 

" It is not his creed nor nationality that counts - it´s the man himself " ( Willie Maley ).

That sums up my own attitude pretty well!

 

The SECOND part: it´s the man himself. YES! Be your man, erm, man!! It´s you OWN man with in you ( and don´t forget your inner child ) which will see you through this little crisis. For now and for ever. If you want.

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