Crying It Out (CIO)

29 posts in this topic

 

Point is, when you become a parent you have to delevop a thicker skin than a dinosaur.

 

From a biological standpoint, a good time for this would be at the same time all your lovely shiny prenatal hair falls out. ;)

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This is currently THE topic of discussion between my wife and I and of course our (8 months old) iron willed son.(Takes after his mother!)

 

After a turbulant first few months my advocation of a Ferber-style technique eventually wore my wife's nursing method down, through nothing other than sheer exhaustion.The colic-like first 3 months were a challenge to say the least.

 

In the end my wife could not take any more and we got him down to waking just once in the night for a feed, then we would put him back, it was great.This 'success' was then rudely interupted by a two week holiday followed by a week long visit from the MIL which meant (to cut a long story short) that we could not let him fall back to sleep by himself.

 

So here we are back to square one and after Christmas (further disruption to the routine) in England, we will start the process over again. The trouble is he is really, really determined and getting bigger and louder every week!

 

Here's the thing..his crying doesn't really bother me, it is my wife's reaction, as she finds it hard to deal with.

 

For the record I am with the guy who said each to his own, read the advice, gauge your own circumstances and be determined, otherwise you will end up like this :- :wacko:

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We should thank featherlight for this post, a good example of what I was talking about.

 

I had no idea I was quite that malign... amazing what you can read into a post.

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Well - with my first two children I didn't let them cry because I don't like hearing babies cry, it would make my milk let down, and fortunately they were easy babies.

With Baby #3, she cried every time I laid her down - daytime, nighttime, anytime. She had superb staying power, and I used to say she didn't know the umbilical cord had been cut. We were joined at the hip/breast for a long time, but she ended up just fine because I held her almost every one of her waking hours.

There was a 13-year gap between her and the next baby. By that time I'd developed a theory based on experience, and that was that a baby's energy has to be expressed somehow. They can't get up and run around the block, so crying becomes exercise. I would let Vierling and his little brother Fuenfling cry for ten minutes each morning and each afternoon, looking at the clock, getting twitchy, and snatching them up the moment it was time. They were calmer and went to bed much easier. In fact, Vierling wouldn't fall asleep in my arms, it was too stimulating for him. With Fuenfling, all I had to do was lay him on his side (this was a long time ago) and after two deep breaths he was asleep.

We co-slept, so there was no night-crying.

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I had no idea I was quite that malign... amazing what you can read into a post.

 

That is one of the hidden points :ph34r:

 

As a parent you have to get used to people reading loads into what you say... A simple "we decided to do it differently" can be taken as "your waz is crap and you are the worst parents in the world"..

 

The fun of parenthood :D

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Didn't read the article, just sharing our experience of researching Ferber, Weissbluth, friends, family, internet, pediatricians, and coming up with the decision to "sleep train." At 8 mo we all spent a long weekend letting the little one gradually, gently but firmly learn that the parents are nearby, that we all need to sleep, and we sleep better in our own beds. of course with illnesses, bad dreams, teething, holidays, sleeping in on weekends, there will be exceptions to the routine and some gentle, firm reinforcement of the routine. 3+ years later, going to bed is our cozy evening together-time, of course with some ever-more elaborately concocted delay tactics thrown in now and again (clever monkey!), and sleep is uninterrupted most nights from around 8:30 through 'til around 7:30. We're rested, kid's rested, and we're not shedding any tears.

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