Ermh, you do know that Grundschule in Bavaria is only 4 years? Just checking, since it's 6 years in Berlin.
By my calculation, when you move to Munich in Autumn 2012, your eldest will enter 4th grade.
This means that the decision which higher school she is allowed to attend will be taken in April 2013, just 7.5 months after she starts school here in Munich. I would start worrying about the Übertritt and preparing my child for the stringent Bavarian requirements instead of trusting that the teacher she will get will have understanding for the fact that she comes from a Bundesland with lower different requirements.
Your daughter will need an average of 2.33 or better to be allowed into the Gymnasium, and that's just from the 4th year grades up until April 2013 (she will get the Übertrittszeugnis with the decision what higher school she is eligible for on May 2nd) in: German (= Deutsch) Maths (= Mathematik) History and Geography and Biology and things like how to deal with confrontation all rolled up into one subject (= Heimat- und Sachkunde)
example: mark 3 in German, mark 2 in Maths and mark 2 in History = 7/3 = 2.33, she would just scrape into Gymnasium
Percentages she has to be correct to reach these marks:
100% – 91 % = mark 1
90% – 81 % = mark 2
80% – 61 % = mark 3
60% – 41 % = mark 4
40% – 21 % = mark 5
20% - 0 % = mark 6
Have a look at the last sentence in the quote. So, you can forget about playing the language card, your girl attended a German Grundschule from grade 1, so she doesn't get an exception for the minimum average she needs to get the permission to go to Gymnasium, it's 2.33 just like for anyone else.
Anyway, their dad is German, so they have a German surname, don't they? I think those with a completely non-German background would have more reason to complain...
Ah, where did I say that's the percentage who actually pass the Abitur?
That's just the percentage who enter the Gymnasium.
Your daughter will lose about 2/3 of her Gymnasium colleagues on the way, plus the 2% who won't pass the Abitur exam itself (source).
It's all very nice and well that your German husband has relatives who are teachers in Bavaria. That won't help your daughter a bit if she doesn't perform to the required standard.
Excuse me - but I know German parents who are panicking about the Übertritt, and their kids have been in a Munich Grundschule from the very start and they have all the native speaking support possible at home, plus Nachhilfe when the mum works.
I admire your cool attitude towards this, but I really would suggest to check your daughter's readiness for all this. Have your German in-law Grundschullehrer give you some typical Bavarian 3rd grade maths questions, Deutsch dictation texts and essay topics and Heimat- und Sachkunde questions, and let your daughter do them. Then send your daughter's replies to your in-laws and let them rate them.
If they say that she will fulfill the 2.33 requirement, so much the better.
If not, order some books and start exercising with her to prepare her for the move to Munich.
Here are the books for 3rd grade kids with which you can check if your kid is ready for the Gymnasium: Deutsch: this one for the material and syllabus, and this one with dictation texts for Bavarian pupils.
Also get this one this one for typical exams in Deutsch and Mathematik. Mathematik: this one for the material and syllabus. Also get this one this one for typical exams in Deutsch and Mathematik (see above, it's the book you also need for Deutsch, so don't get it if you already bought it for Deutsch). Heimat- und Sachkunde: this one for the material and syllabus, and this one for exercises.
Here's an overview of exercise books for all grades (1 to 4) in the Bavarian Grundschule: =9&clickpath[schulart.id]=4&clickpath[fach.id]=256"]Deutsch. Pay special attention to the ones under the heading "Ich komme ins Gymnasium!" (= I will get into the Gymnasium!). =9&clickpath[schulart.id]=4&clickpath[fach.id]=57"]Mathematik. Pay special attention to the ones under the heading "Ich komme ins Gymnasium!". =9&clickpath[schulart.id]=4&clickpath[fach.id]=46"]Heimat- und Sachkunde
To round this off:
here's an overview of books on Amazon if you give in as search terms "Übertritt Gymnasium Bayern" here are all official books pupils in Bavarian schools get. You can choose to look only at the ones for Deutsch or Mathematik or Heimat- und Sachkunde. Then go through the list and ignore all the ones that aren't for 1. or 2. or 3. or 4. Klasse/Schuljahr/Jahrgangsstufe or that don't have 1, 2, 3, or 4 in the title.
I would stop freaking out about finding the perfect Grundschule and start looking where the best Gymnasium is...