Vaterschaftsanerkennung UK father to German baby

[indigosun 9]

Greetings and good health.

 

I was hoping for some advice. My apologies, my German is not very good, so I hope you don’t mind me typing in English.

 

My Girlfriend left some days ago, we where both based in UK, she left with out contact or letting me know where our little 3 month old boy is, it has been over 2 weeks now with no contact from her. . He was born in Germany, but because we were leaving so soon to come back to our house in UK I did not have my Birth certificate on my person. I am not on his birth Certificate as Father due to them needing my original copy of BC.. But I did fill in a Vaterschaftsanerkennung. I have acknowledged his birth and signed some papers. It was not till a few days ago that I found a letter from the lady that registered our baby, the letter was asking for me to send in my Birth certificate. My GF/ ex GF hide that from me.

 

My question was, what rights do I have as his father with just being on the Vaterschaftsanerkennung? I have just sent in my Birth Certificate. But I feel she will leave for Germany before I get that,. Do I have rights as his father already?

 

If she did move back to Germany with out telling me, is there ways I can find him? Has she broken any laws? What would I need to do first in Germany to be able to see our son.

 

Any help would be wonderful.

 

Kind regards. A very worried Father. I miss my little boy so much.

 

Thank you

[HEM 11,068]

Oh dear - possibly the only thing that you will be "allowed" to do is pay up regularly :(

[Bob Loblaw 331]

Did you just sign a Vaterschaftsanerkennung or did you both give a gemeinsame Sorgeerklärung? This will get ugly one way or the other so go talk to a lawyer.

[Elfenstar 1,676]

No worries if your German isn't good, for this is a forum for English-speaking expats in Germany. Anyhow, is your wife, erm girlfriend German? In any case, I would call the police, telling them your (ex)gf is missing with your newborn son. Who knows if she truly left you. Perhaps something happened to them. However, it's been 2 weeks...

[amsel07 64]

A couple of months ago, some time in late 2010, the law in Germany was changed: Fathers now have the same rights as mothers, if they are married or not. It's "gemeinsames Sorgerecht" - joint custody - automatically.

That's the theory. The reality is somewhat different, it's mostly still the mother who cares for the baby and who decides most things, especially if she's breastfeeding of course.

I don't know about the law in the UK.

But if your son was born in Germany and you acknowledged paternity, your girlfriend has had no right to simply leave you and take your son.Go and speak to a lawyer for the legal part, and to any friends or family of your girlfriend for the hopefully faster way to a solution.

[anne k 3,643]

This website looks like it might provide some information: alternativefamilylaw.co.uk

[Bob Loblaw 331]

 

A couple of months ago, some time in late 2010, the law in Germany was changed: Fathers now have the same rights as mothers, if they are married or not. It's "gemeinsames Sorgerecht" - joint custody - automatically.

Ahem, no. The law was not changed. The constitutional court declared the law that states that in cases of unmarried parents joint custody can only be achieved with the mother's permission void. That doesn't mean however that parents now automatically have joined custody. Only the mother automatically has custody. For joint custody a custody declaration is still necessary. If the mother declines her consent however, the father now can file for a court ruling granting joint custody.

 

 

Es ist verfassungsrechtlich nicht zu beanstanden, dass der Gesetzgeber das elterliche Sorgerecht für ein nichteheliches Kind zunächst allein seiner Mutter übertragen hat. Ebenfalls steht mit der Verfassung in Einklang, dass dem Vater eines nichtehelichen Kindes nicht zugleich mit der wirksamen Anerkennung seiner Vaterschaft gemeinsam mit der Mutter das Sorgerecht eingeräumt ist.

 

[indigosun 9]

Thank you for your reply s so far.

 

Yes, i feel this could get Ugly. My GF/ex GF has a history of mental health problems. she was put into a place for mental health and had a room where she stayed for some weeks. she at the time was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. this was in Germany.

 

She has made wild allegations against me in past, so I don't think this will run smoothly at all. I have rang up the police as a missing person, a day or two later the police contacted me saying she is safe, they could not under law give me any more information.

 

I have taken a legal route in UK, but as I'm not currently on his birth certificate I think my legal standing even in UK is very low. I will hopefully be on his BC with in a few days. I'm tracking the letter i sent in and it has reached Germany and I'm guessing will be delivered tomorrow.

 

The reason I have posted on this site, I would like to know if she does go to Germany what is the best way for me living in UK to make first contact or step to finding my son in Germany. and what would you recommend is the place to contact.

 

Also is there any way i can get legal representation in Germany cheep? i have very little money.

 

I guess I'm asking where do i stand if she has gone back to Germany?

 

Today i will start to read up about German law.

 

thank you Kindly for your reply's so far.

 

and Yes i was there when we chose his names, i did sign something. was not sure what it was. :/

[indigosun 9]

gemeinsame Sorgeerklärung.

 

I don't think we did sign anything for joint custody. :(

[Binaural 744]

That's a terrible story, and you have my fullest sympathy. Do you know her mother, father or friends in Germany well enough to call one of them for information? Email addresses? Any communication channels that you can establish whatsoever? Is there any risk she could hurt or neglect the baby?

[kathie 1,006]

Do you remember anything about the Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht? This would be the immediately relevant bit here. If you have this, her leaving the country without your permission would be illegal and tantamount to kidnap.

 

Edit: As long as you have the Sorgerecht, and didn't sign anything saying you don't have the Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht, then she cannot leave the country without your permission, and the police should be able to get her back, or at least give you details of where your child is. Do you have any paperwork proving you have Sorgerecht?

[Guest]

is it possible you could inform the police of your partner's medical history? perhaps then they could inform you of her whereabouts.

the safety of your little child is important here. does she have a support network in the UK, friends or family or are they all in Germany?

[indigosun 9]

Aufenthaltsbestimmungsrecht???

 

Stay determination. I have no idea if I did sign this. I signed everything that was needed for him to get kindergeld. It was all done in German language so I was a little lost to what was going on at time.

 

I definitely signed something to acknowledge his birth as me as Father.

 

Yes, I have contact details to her mum, and her sister. Her sister does not like me, due to what sandra has said to her in past but i have wrote to her asking for some information etc. no reply as yet, and I'm not expecting there to be one. but i made clear my intentions for a peaceful move forward with our sons interest first and formost. . Her mum thankfully really likes me, and I have spoken to her (in my very broken German) On the phone. But i did get help and i wrote a long email to her mum. She did reply and said she did not know where my daughter was or our son, and there has been no contact. she said she would announce her self to me when she has new news.

 

My worry is though, that last time we was in Germany when our son was born. My GF was saying she just wants to vanish from her family and move to Berlin or some sort. she is not very rational with her thoughts sometimes. Thankfully she has been a great mother so far, so my worry for my sons safety is not at forefront. But I do want to see him asap for his own development. And mainly know he is happy in his new surroundings etc.

 

i just want to see the little man. he is everything to me :(

[Guest]

well it's good news you get on with her mum. does Sandra get on with her mum, is she likely to contact her.

you must really miss your little man but it's a relief Sandra is a good mum.

[indigosun 9]

moon boot. i did say to the police that she has some mental problems, she is so convinced she was misdiagnosed back then.

 

If she is going to deny me access, then I will have to put the love aside i have for her, and only think of our son. and do everything i can to make sure i'm allowed access. even if i have to use her medical history. i will talk to a UK lawyer about this. i have an appointment tmw for on going legal advice. my lawyer knows very little about German law though.

[indigosun 9]

moonboot. there seems to be a connection between her mum and Sandra. but i don't think there is much love. so I'm not sure if that will be her first ort of call. although she is registered in Germany under her mums address. so i think this is a good thing also.

 

IMO her mum is a very balanced person that knows us both very well. and sees me as someone that has tried to help her daughter. she often thanks me etc.

[Bob Loblaw 331]

 

Also is there any way i can get legal representation in Germany cheep? i have very little money.

 

Obviously I don't know your income, but you could apply for legal aid (Beratungshilfe). Fill out this form and send it to the Amtsgericht (district court) where your girlfriend currently lives. If you qualify for legal aid, they will send you a voucher for a lawyer. You are free to choose whichever german lawyer you want. The lawyer would cost you € 10 and would represent you up to the point where the whole case goes to court. Alternatively you could contact a (german) lawyer right away and ask him, if he would be willing to apply for legal aid for you. If you do that though you should make certain that you only ask him to represent you if legal aid is granted. Even though you are not living in germany, you can qualify for german legal aid.

 

Third option, and I think that would be the first thing to do, is to contact the german child protective services (city where your girlfriend lives).

[indigosun 9]

Thank you Bob, I will look into contact details for the Child protective services in her area and present this idea to my UK lawyer. and go from there.

 

I will also fill out the form and print off encase I need that in near future. I guess I better get my self prepared for the worse.

 

thank you again Bob.

[Guest]

good luck!

[indigosun 9]

thank you Moon.

 

can i ask a question about Sorgerecht?

 

Would this be a form that would normally be produced at his registration? I was there in person and signed everything that was put before me.

 

they took a photo copy of my passport and said that i can bring in my Birth certificate any time to be put onto his Birth citificate and recorded etc.

 

as said yesterday i sent off my Birth certificate in response to a letter i found asking for this to be sent in.

 

Thank you guys. you have been a great help so far.

 

appreciated very much.