I've just posted a silly photo

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Guy on left: "Darling, how was your appointment this morning?"

 

Girl: "You know what, I'm not even sure I want to have this baby now. That bloody obstetrician said the baby's head could be this big!"

 

Guy on Right: Watching couple and thinking to himself: Yes, the zucchini are a decent size this year. I wonder why they have all mysteriously disappeared from the fridge. Must talk to missus tonight. Hmmm.

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Woman in middle: Please don't bump me, Sir. I'm on my way to the DIY and I'm holding the measurement for a new piece of (add your favorite building material here).

 

Man on left: speechless

 

Man on right: "Honey, I've already used the tape measure and have written it down."

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For the one with the semi-naked women..

 

'Dr... Dr... this must be the Tardis, it's blue. What's that smell....?'

 

For the one above 'wide, I said I like it this wide'...

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Left Woman: "Stop, Edith! What's that dreadful smell?"

Right Woman: "Heavens, Agnes. That's really quite pungent."

Man: "Oops!"

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Left Woman: "John, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time."

 

Right Woman: "Yes, John. Patricia and I are in love. She is leaving you for me. I hope this doesn't change our relationship as brother and sister, will it?"

 

John: Embarrassed chuckle but is fuming inside "Oh really?"

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Left woman to right woman: your ex-husband belongs on the British teeth and American stomach threads.

 

Aquarius: BRILLIANT idea for a thread! Cheers!

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NICE caption, John. :lol:

 

As Hrundi V. Bakshi (played by Peter Sellers) stated in the Blake Edwards Film, The Party, "It is good to laugh!"

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Jane (woman on left to Enid, woman on right): Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

 

Enid: Oof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Jane.

 

Jane: True.

 

Enid: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?

 

Jane: To my knowledge, never.

 

Enid: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?

 

Jane: Next to nil.

 

Enid: That's exactly what I'm thinking, too.

 

Jane: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering.

 

Enid: I guess I am.

 

 

Man: Do you two practice being dim or is it a natural talent? This shit's hilarious! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

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"He told me that he loved me. I've never seen anyone leave so fast. He didn't even finish his beer."

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It´s hard and thirsty work studying which type of beer evaporates quickest.

Oh sod it, maybe I´ll just drink both of them!

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"Alright, I know I look like a fucktard sitting here with two cups of beer, but I'm waiting on a date. For real! She'll show up, just wait and see. Now get that @#$%^*& camera outta my @!#$%*& face and piss off!"

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