School bullying question

172 posts in this topic

If the bullying is happening at school I would think the school has a responsible to assist you to get this behavior stopped. Unfortunately, some schools have an inadequate response in dealing with bullying behavior. No child should have to go to school and feel intimidated and threatened.

 

If I were you, I would talk with the administrator of the school and then follow up your meeting with a letter so you have a paper trail.

 

I would ask the administrator for a meeting in her office with the bully's parents asap.

 

If the admin doesn't go along with a meeting, I would ask for the parent's phone number to contact the parents myself.

 

If the adminstrator fails to assist you, I would even consider making a formal report to the polizei of the abuse.

 

If all else fails, as a last resort, I would take matters into my own hands and go to the school and confront the bully myself and let him know in no uncertain terms he is will not have any further contact with my son.

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If all else fails, as a last resort, I would take matters into my own hands and go to the school and confront the bully myself and let him know in no uncertain terms he is will not have any further contact with my son.

 

Absolute worst idea ever, do not even think of taking this course of action.

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I am really sorry to hear about your situation. I, too, am a teacher and bulying is really difficult and unfortunately, one size-doesn't-fit-all when it comes to bullying solutions.

 

Also, German schools tend to be a bit more tolerant of bullying behavior so you are also up against that. The school counselor at my school recommended a book that seemed to help most kids that were being bullied. It is called "Friends Forever" by Fred Frankel. The book is about teaching strategies to help the child help himself.

 

Good luck. One of the hardest things is to watch your own child struggling and makes you wish Elmo band-aids still helped. :)

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and we changed our child too, to follow her friends).

 

That's how naive I am. I thought bullying only applied to boys. I don't remember any girls getting bullied or doing any bullying when I was growing up...

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Absolute worst idea ever, do not even think of taking this course of action.

 

Of course, this is the option of absolute last resort.

 

You have to get this behavior to stop and if you're not getting support from the school or the parents, I would have to take any means necessary to protect my child from abuse.

 

What can happen if bullying goes unchecked the child can began to exhibit issues such as school avoidance, difficulty sleeping, and even a decline in academic achievement.

 

In fact, if I were in this situation, I would tell the administrator my child is developing physical symptoms because of the bullying, such as nightmares so she can take this seriously.

 

Another option to consider if the school administrator isn't taking it seriously, than I would write letters and call her chain of command.

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Photoshop.

Compromising photos bully dad with bully son loaded onto pedo websites. It should look convincing and real i.e. no farm animals.

Tip off school, relevant local and if necessary national authorities.

Goodbye bully, goodbye bully dad.

Job done.

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By all means contact a lawyer, but don't expect legal insurance to help at this stage. Legal insurance would only provide cover if there was provable physical or psychiatric damage on order to create a claim against a third party.

 

Personally, I think it's a little early to call on the legal profession.

 

I agree, no point in wading in with legal threats, but going in knowing what is possible is better then not knowing..

 

For example, if the staff say there is nothing they can do, and you know they have to do something... You can then tell them.

 

It is like being told at the till you are not entitled to a refund for that still boxed and unopened thing you bought yesterday.

 

if you know you are, you can carry on. If not, you may just go home.

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That's how naive I am. I thought bullying only applied to boys. I don't remember any girls getting bullied or doing any bullying when I was growing up...

 

That was in vorschule, so it wasn't yet the intense (often mental) bullying that girls do later- it was actually a boy who was physically hitting (not just girls, but the boys were a harder target).

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Thanks for the info. Thankfully, I got me a tough rottweiler for a little chickie (comes with having two older brothers), so she'll just kick his ass if it happens. :P

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The Expat how exactly is he bullying him? Is he saying hurtful words or hitting him?

 

School bullying is about lack of self-esteem, power, and sometimes peer pressure.

 

So one approach could be to teach your child how to respond in an attempt to unarm the bully.

 

If the bully is seeing that your son is affected by his bullying by being upset or crying this only perpetuates and encourages the bully's behavior as he sees he can get a reaction from your son.

 

It's this reaction that's the payoff for the bully.

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That's how naive I am. I thought bullying only applied to boys. I don't remember any girls getting bullied or doing any bullying when I was growing up...

 

Girls bullied a lot at my school. My cousin used to get teased a lot in high school by a group of girls who made in fun of her for being poor and "ugly". They constantly pushed her around in the hallway, called her a skank, threw stuff at her, etc. One day the main bully came up to her and pushed my cousin while she was getting stuff out of her locker. My cousin snapped, grabbed the girl, slammed her into the lockers, and slammed the locker door on her head a few times. She got suspended for a few days, but the bully didn't mess with her anymore after that.

 

I got bullied a lot when I was younger, but I was way too shy to stand up for myself and too embarrassed to tell my parents about it. Honestly, not standing up for myself is one of the things I regret most about my time in school.

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After 35 years I still find it difficult to talk about bullying, but please keep pushing for the school and the bully's parents to take action. And try to continue to build your kid's self-esteem and self-confidence.

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That's how naive I am. I thought bullying only applied to boys. I don't remember any girls getting bullied or doing any bullying when I was growing up...

 

Are you kidding me?? It's rampant. I believe it turns into what is called "catty behavior" when the girls are women.

 

I was bullied by the school alpha female and her friends when I returned from living in Spain, as I came back 'different'. Eventually, I beat the shit out of her, ending up in the principal's office for the first and last time in my life. I wasn't bullied again.

 

My son was/ is getting bullied at school. *private* school. I actually went to a meeting for parents on bullying last night. I'm teaching Jr how to stand tall/ stand up for himself, ideally without resorting to beating the crap out of anyone. He is extremely bright, and it's the dumb-asses who are bothering him. He is only 6 years old... it starts early.

 

@ the OP, perhaps reading a book like this one would provide you with some strategies to teach your child? From what I learned last night, talking about it with your child isn't enough; you need to do active role playing.

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That's how naive I am. I thought bullying only applied to boys. I don't remember any girls getting bullied or doing any bullying when I was growing up...

 

Talk to Leeza next time you see her...

 

I remain of the opinion that the nastiest creatures on earth are teenage kids. They seem to find anything to pick on other kids with.

 

Still happens with younger kids but it seems to take on a more sinister shape once puberty hits?

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Even though I haven't read all the comments on this thread, when I was at school, we had a 'bully' in the class who was stronger and tougher than all the other kids. He walked around like a king and had a lot of 'followers'. Heaven help anyone who got in the way of this group's activities.

 

I don't think he was a bad kid, just misguided as to what his role in life should be. Never met his parents, so can't comment on their social background.

 

What stopped this reign of terror? Our PE teacher dragged him out of the showers where he was playing the lord and master. (Yes, he also had the biggest cock in the class). The teacher held him on the back of the neck, naked, in full view of the other boys in the class with his arse in the air and asked him to explain how he was tougher than eveyone else.

 

He cried and said he was sorry.

 

We never again had a problem with bullying. He knuckled down to his studies and got 9 O levels, 3 A levels and went to Oxford.

 

If you send me 100€, I'll tell you his name!!

 

(Just kidding. I will never tell).

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