How to get German boyfriend or girlfriend

106 posts in this topic

 

but poeple today just hurt my feelings.

 

 

Chin up Ifrah! You are still gorgeous and, what's more, also have a gorgeous sexy German husband to help you feel better ;) . Could be worse!

 

In your place, I doubt I'd be worrying too much about the views of a few random strangers.

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To be honest you are seriously over-reacting to some fairly harmless ribbing.

 

TT can be a little rough if you have a very thin skin, but it is THE best resource for English speakers in Germany, especially those in a position like yours where you would like to meet people, and you would be cutting off your nose to spite your face if you just walk away from it.

 

Grow a metaphorical pair and you'll be fine.

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Call me old fashioned...

 

My husband will not be my language coach, my cultural ambassador, or my immigration lawyer... Well... Maybe as a perk.

 

Well, it's not old-fashioned, quite the opposite. The idea you have to love your husband or wife and choose him or her accordingly is relatively new, historically speaking. In fact, the idea that you should choose your husband or wife yourself is far from self-evident.

 

Most importantly however, you are probably fortunate enough not to have to make that kind of choices, worry about you visa status or about what your life in your country of origin would be like should you be forced to go back. I can speak german and hold an EU-passport but I can easily see how people who don't might see dating a german citizen as a viable strategy to stay in the country and secure their future (I am not saying it's the case of the OP either, just speaking about the general situation). I sure hope they develop genuine feelings in the process and everybody is in the clear about the relationship but I don't think my personal concept of what a relationship should be should blind me to the many practical advantages that come with a german partner.

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Lavender Rain thanks darling

 

I deactivated my account. TT is not for me I thought it was a friendly place but poeple today just hurt my feelings.

 

No better words could come to mind than...

 

"When life gives you lemons, just say '[Eff] the lemons,' and bail."

 

To Ifrah.Isse if you're still reading this... You shouldn't leave. Just learn from the mistake and move on. I don't think anyone wanted to make you cry or hurt your feelings, either. Most of us are just entertaining ourselves and giving useless opinions...

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I´m actually in tears and so sad that how people can be so mean to someone and judge them before they even get to know them. I´m someone whos just trying to communicate with others in possibly the nicest way. I never been brought up to disrespect others or hurt their feelings. I never meant to come across that I am better thn anyone. God made everyone different. I just meant its good to look after your self. I apologise if I made anyone uncomfortable.

 

I seem to be having a Luke Skywalker day today...

 

ON one hand I want to say 'hey, come on, it was only someone you will never meet on the internet who said that. Don't take to seriously'.

 

On the other hand, I feel also compelled to write..

 

You haven't been around here long have you? This is TT, we are, in no particular order, a huge bunch of judging, helpful, annoying, great, aggressive, compassionate, argumentative, funny, sarcastic, rude, caring, mean spirited, polite and many other contrary things.

 

We are therefore, in fact, a typical on-line community and, and it is a big and when you read through the website I am about to mention, down right nicer place to be than mumsnet.

 

If you want to see judgemental, overbearing, aggressive and self righteous people go join there.

 

Don't run away, stick around, you will find TT a nice place to type a few hours a way..

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If you wanna find a German partner who's into your being a furriner, try meeting them in places where Germans like to hang out because no one there is German, e.g. Australia, Canada, and South America.

 

Otherwise, if you don't know how to make a decent Mohnkuchen or build a Hochbett using raw planks from the Baumarkt, I don't know how on earth yer gonna bag a German dude/chick...

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I´m actually in tears and so sad that how people can be so mean to someone and judge them before they even get to know them

You must cry a lot then, because what upsets you is actually standard human behaviour, not words written uniquely on a this website.

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If you wanna find a German partner who's into your being a furriner, try meeting them in places where Germans like to hang out because no one there is German, e.g. Australia, Canada, and South America.

 

Otherwise, if you don't know how to make a decent Mohnkuchen or build a Hochbett using raw planks from the Baumarkt, I don't know how on earth yer gonna bag a German dude/chick...

 

Not to mention survive on a diet of meat, potatoes and fat AND be able to get on with a MIL that will try to control your every decision from where to go on holiday to which little plastic toilet cleaner you should use*.

 

*Although not my personal experience, I may have happened to someone, somewhere, sometime.

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Why would anyone specifically want a German boyfriend/girlfriend anyway? I married a German, but that was in spite of her nationality, not because of it.

If she wasn't German, I would not have to live here, and would never have been exposed to the frightful local language, other than knowing a few phrases from kids comic books like "achtung minen".

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Well, it's not old-fashioned, quite the opposite. The idea you have to love your husband or wife and choose him or her accordingly is relatively new, historically speaking. In fact, the idea that you should choose your husband or wife yourself is far from self-evident.

 

Most importantly however, you are probably fortunate enough not to have to make that kind of choices, worry about you visa status or about what your life in your country of origin would be like should you be forced to go back. I can speak german and hold an EU-passport but I can easily see how people who don't might see dating a german citizen as a viable strategy to stay in the country and secure their future (I am not saying it's the case of the OP either, just speaking about the general situation). I sure hope they develop genuine feelings in the process and everybody is in the clear about the relationship but I don't think my personal concept of what a relationship should be should blind me to the many practical advantages that come with a german partner.

 

Good point. Marriage is a subjective idea... I just sort of see that situation as using the system for personal gain. Maybe I am modern old-fashioned? Is marriage really about practicality? Maybe. But, I still think love should come before marriage... Personal opinion, of course.

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I just sort of see that situation as using the system for personal gain.

Happens all the time all over the world.

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Why would anyone specifically want a German boyfriend/girlfriend anyway? I married a German, but that was in spite of her nationality, not because of it.

If she wasn't German, I would not have to live here, and would never have been exposed to the frightful local language, other than knowing a few phrases from kids comic books like "achtung minen".

 

 

 

would never have been exposed to the frightful local language,

German is not frightful, at worst it is awkward.If you mean local local (Bavarian), don't be so dumb and listen & learn it!

 

 

Good point. Marriage is a subjective idea... I just sort of see that situation as using the system for personal gain. Maybe I am modern old-fashioned? Is marriage really about practicality? Maybe. But, I still think love should come before marriage... Personal opinion, of course.

 

 

 

love should come before marriage..

...but convenience has to come later or it won't last.

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German is not frightful, at worst it is awkward

po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

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I would put a small step right in-front of any advice on how to do this...1). use the search button so ascertain if (from the info you find on German partners) you actually want one From my experience at home and reading the forum, getting one is the easy part - dealing with the aftermath is the difficult bit

 

:lol: Oh God yes. I wish mine had come with some kind of "dangerous goods" warning. Would have saved a lot of stress.

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German is not frightful, at worst it is awkward.If you mean local local (Bavarian), don't be so dumb and listen & learn it!

 

 

 

 

 

po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

 

 

Or in this case Kartoffel and Tattie.

 

Calling German Awkward is like saying that 'oral sex in zero g while wearing a ginger wig' is only a slight suspension of disbelief in order to carry on a running joke*.

 

 

And that this sentence is not in any way different from how it was said in the program.

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Otherwise, if you don't know how to make a decent Mohnkuchen or build a Hochbett using raw planks from the Baumarkt, I don't know how on earth yer gonna bag a German dude/chick...

 

I don't & I did :)

 

 

 

Not to mention survive on a diet of meat, potatoes and fat AND be able to get on with a MIL that will try to control your every decision from where to go on holiday to which little plastic toilet cleaner you should use*.

 

27 years after we first met I ain't doing too badly & the MIL is 1.5 hours drive away so that keeps her at arm's length.

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Why would anyone specifically want a German boyfriend/girlfriend anyway? I married a German, but that was in spite of her nationality, not because of it.

If she wasn't German, I would not have to live here, and would never have been exposed to the frightful local language, other than knowing a few phrases from kids comic books like "achtung minen".

 

 

But imagine you'd stayed in the UK. Toytown Essex would be such a fucking boring website.

 

"'ere m8. Where can ah nick some biggah wheels for mah Cozzie?"

 

"Mah boyfriend sez my arse looks big in mah new aahtfit. Shud ah dump 'im?"

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