Gossiping Boss Irritating me

[Tuariangamunotjiri 7]

I am a newbie and this in my first post. I actually have a problem with my boss. I am normally a courteous employee who tries to get along with all of my colleagues at work. I work in an international environment of almost 50 nationalities so you have to try to be as diplomatic as possible otherwise you step on people’s outgrown toe nails. I however always find myself at the receiving end of my gossipy boss. She always comes into my office and start bad mouthing the other colleagues – how little they work, how they are useless, how she does not like them, what they discussed at the management meeting etc..etc. This makes me very nervous and puts me in an awkward position because no matter what sociologist say, I do not really like gossip. I mean, I simply just sit there, listen and nod my head nonchalantly. Maybe I am an easy target allowing myself for this type of abuse – she has maybe targeted the weak one out of the bunch because I never speak out/or I am a good listener/or a good sounding box/or maybe she is testing me. Any ideas on what I can do? :angry:

[D_I_S_D 93]

Bring an iPod to work.

[dessa_dangerous 13,315]

Maybe she is grooming you for a management position. You appear to be failing the test.

[sweetsilence 359]

How about just telling her that you would rather not be involved in the issues going on among the other employees? Do that politely and without attacking her directly - bit of a balancing act, but hopefully she gets the hint?

[Tann 17]

I always tell them to go tell them on their face! They might not be aware they are doing anything wrong, so telling you will never solve the problem.

[El Jeffo 42,120]

 

I always tell them to go tell them on their face!

 

Could you translate that into English, please?

[Jeanie 2,598]

Is your boss German? Mine does the same thing. I really struggled with it at the beginning and even spoke to him about it. He stopped for a while but then it started up again. I particularly hate it because I know he does it to everyone about everyone so at least a few people out there are listening to lots of negative stuff about me and yet when I ask him if everything is alright and if he's happy with my work he never has anything to say. Typical bullying-type behaviour.

 

Sorry I have no better advice - I've taken it along with various other bits and pieces of nastiness for nearly three years and am just about at the end of my tether and looking for something else now. I do work in a very German environment though, maybe in a properly international environment it'd be different.

 

I can recommend the Vent thread though - great for letting off steam :)

[Lorelei 1,881]

 

...I particularly hate it because I know he does it to everyone about everyone ...Typical bullying-type behaviour...

Sounds like Mr X, who is poised to become boss at my workplace. Mr X has a knockabout sense of humor.

 

At an evening social event where staff are sitting in groups at tables, Mr X notices a coworker sitting at the other side of the room with his wife and young daughter (9 or 10 years old). It's getting late and the daughter is beginning to doze off, and is leaning against her father with her head on his shoulder. Mr X jokes that the coworker and his daughter are having an incestuous relationship.

 

Mr X tells his jokes (often about coworkers) to the people who don't matter (i.e. subordinates). The people who do matter (i.e. superiors) don't hear them. Kiss up, kick down.

[Jeanie 2,598]

 

Sounds like Mr X, who is poised to become boss at my workplace. Mr X has a knockabout sense of humor.

 

At an evening social event where staff are sitting in groups at tables, Mr X notices a coworker sitting at the other side of the room with his wife and young daughter (9 or 10 years old). It's getting late and the daughter is beginning to doze off, and is leaning against her father with her head on his shoulder. Mr X jokes that the coworker and his daughter are having an incestuous relationship.

 

Mr X tells his jokes (often about coworkers) to the people who don't matter (i.e. subordinates). The people who do matter (i.e. superiors) don't hear them. Kiss up, kick down.

 

Except for the facts that my boss is already the boss and that we never have staff events where partners and children are invited, I would suspect we were working for the same person. How depressing.

[CincyInDE 3,236]

 

I always tell them to go tell them on their face! They might not be aware they are doing anything wrong, so telling you will never solve the problem.

 

 

 

Could you translate that into English, please?

 

 

 

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me

I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too

I love to hear you ORALIZE

When I'm between your thighs

You blow me away

 

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you

I'll sit on your face and THEN I'LL LOVE YOU TRULY

Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine

IF WE sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play

'Till we're blown away

 

 

[Guest]

I definitely sympathize with you. Mine is the same, and he lets one colleague get away with everything because he fancies her. Grr.

[Tuariangamunotjiri 7]

Oh well guess I will just take it and bear with it for a while, while venting my frustrations on the Vent. She is German...guess it goes without saying

[suffolkrose 231]

I have a female boss that does exactly the same ..in fact a lot of the staff do I hate it and wont involve myself in it ..perhaps it is seen as usuall in German working environments can anyone shed any light?

[Guest]

 

How about just telling her that you would rather not be involved in the issues going on among the other employees? Do that politely and without attacking her directly - bit of a balancing act, but hopefully she gets the hint?

 

Christ don't do that - will mean she will move on to someone else and bitch about you.

 

OP your best bet is to just listen. Take it all in. Don't spread any of it - don't even necessary believe any of it....but take it all in. File it in the memory banks. For this boss of yours sounds like a problem. And its always good to remember the things problem people say. Keep an email also.

[Istvan 7]

Maybe she is afraid deep down, and handels it by invalidating other people. So she can feel stronger. Maybe she doesn't want others to look at her, so she tries to direct other's attention from herself and have other people thinking and feeling negative stuff about each other.The worse the other off, the better she feels, that's safety for her. She wants your agreement on her reality, if you allow it you will feel bad about yourself. If you resist and start protecting the other people she will come at you stronger.

Stay neutral. Have no opinion. Talk about neutral subjects.

- Jane is such a lazy employee, don't you think so?

- I don`t think about Jane. It`s a kind of warm today, is it?

[bluedave 2,499]

I have the opposite problem, i have a secretarial / admin girl who often asks me out for a smoke and then proceeds to spill the beans on everyone else.

 

Despite me telling her oft that it's just a job and other things matter more like friends and family it continues.

 

My solution? Smile and nod, smile and nod.

[Tann 17]

Is the "Boss" English?

[Tann 17]

@ El Jeffo

[Wizadora 423]

Just let it wash over you, to be honest if she is telling you everything that is going on that could be a good thing. In a large organisation it is always good to know what happening, that gives you a position of strength. As long as keep your opinions to yourself you should be protected. Just make sure you are not seen by others as a mini me version of the boss, that could be harmfull.

[poohsan 2,486]

I keep reading this title as "Groping Boss Irritating me"