Confused by my relationship with German guy!

112 posts in this topic

For the past six weeks I was seeing this German guy in his late 20's. He was very romantic and affectionate towards me and I thought it was special and was falling for him. The problem was that our relationship status was confusing since we only went on two dates and would mostly see each other at parties and hook up.

 

Last week I confronted him at a party about our relationship status. He told me I was the first girl he had such strong feelings for and he was falling in love with me; his longest relationship was 2 weeks! But the downside is he is looking for a girl who is completely going to rock his world and he thinks that I am not it. He basically thinks that our relationship is not going to be forever. I asked him why and he could not answer. I asked him if he was attracted to me and he said he was very much attracted to me. He also said that he is afraid that I am going to fall for him. But when I told him we can just continue having casual sex, he got offended and said that our relationship is more than sex and there is def an emotional aspect and he really enjoys spending time with me. He also gets jealous when I talk to other guys and keeps asking me who is calling me when I pick up my phone. He was very drunk as well throughout the whole conversation. Another thing is he is in the US for six months, but he said that is not the real reason. I was very surprised that he brought up the subject of love, marriage and everlasting relationships so quickly, is this typical of German men?

 

After that I ended up staying over at his place and we had sex. I was really nice to him and ended up cleaning up his apartment after the party and cooking him breakfast and stuff. But now I really regret it. I feel like I was so nice to him and gave him everything, but he played me and was just interested in sex. Is this typical of German men? Should I stop seeing him and move on? Or should I confront him?

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hello...for my opinion. You better move on. it seems he dnt love you much. you better enjoy your life to be single have fun... one day the rigth man will come.

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He was very drunk as well throughout the whole conversation.

Blabbering overemotional bullshit without any sense is not typical of german men, it is typical of drunk men. Geez. And if he is in his late 20 and his longest realtionship was 2 weeks he just seems to be realistic if he thinks it is not going to last forever. Wich realtionship does, anyway?

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IMHO I don't think sex on the 2nd date or his jealousy would guarantee a love-filled future in your relationship at all. It is good that he was honest with you that you don't rock his world, that he doesn't see you in his future. That way, you know where you stand and you won't have any expectations. If you enjoyed the sex and his company while it lasted, then good, at least you got something out of it. My suggestion, like the others said, is move on and learn from it. Always remember, it's his loss, and not yours! :rolleyes:

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Oh sweet Jesus, is this the new trend here on TT?

 

Right. Any German bloke wanting to get laid just has to book a flight to the US it seems. No end of willing American girls who appear to set the bar lower than ones here.

 

The "cooking breakfast" is a bit of a giveaway in terms of entering fantasy-land. Who seriously does that in 2010?

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Its the accents :lol:

 

Thought I must say now that I am so accustomed to German accents I have a new fondness for British accents. Watch out boys... ha

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Men are men are men

Isn't that the truth? Totally off the original topic : Husband and I were watching "An Idiot Abroad" last night and it was the Mexico episode. The cab driver immediately asks the British guy about his girlfriends tits. "Are they nice?" I said, "Ugh, typical Mexican man." I don't like to see me ogle women in general but in Mexico it seems to be so bad. I used to hate being around my cousins when they were talking about women.

 

Back on topic - cooking breakfast and cleaning? That puts the "walk of shame" on a whole other level. Listen to all of us: never, never, never.

I also suggest not offering to continue the casual sex thing when you are really looking for more. It's going to end up hurting you a lot more in the end. Move on.

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The "cooking breakfast" is a bit of a giveaway in terms of entering fantasy-land. Who seriously does that in 2010?

 

Certainly no one in Germany...

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Sally: You know what "I'll cook" says? It says, "Let's have sex."

Susan: No, that would be, "Come and spend the night with me."

Sally: "Come and spend the night with me" says, "Let's have sex." "I'll cook" says, "Let's have sex and I'll cater."

 

- Coupling

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Honestly, I think it is the romantic notion of "seperated by oceans" not the guy himself behind this trend. Remains of the day, real love, tears, tragic fate. Uh huuh.

 

Sorry. Cynicism seems to be in proportion to coffee consumption. I better have another one.

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Well in all fairness, I did marry my lover boy abroad.

 

Though I admit it all started as a potential fling via myspace while on a school trip, run away while you still can :lol:

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OP is Turkish, not American.

That may explain why the German guy thinks it will not work out (despite distance). It's the forbidden fruit for most German guys. Problems everywhere, family (brothers), islam.

 

OP might be different, but you have to know about the Anatolian(!) Turks and the Kurds in Germany to comprehend the general view of a German guy on 'dating turkish girls'.

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I tend to agree that it doesn't seem promising. But it could go the other way- my daughter' ex (since yesterday) boyfriend said at first that he didn't want a relationship,and she ai ine, then just sex, and now a year later it's cooled offf on her side and she loves him as her best friend but doesn't want sex. Shame, he's really a sweetie and I was beginning to imagine what the granchildren would look like.

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