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Should I move to Germany or she to America?

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Forgive me for being practical, but if you move to Germany, you may want to start taking German classes sooner rather than later. Unless you absolutely want to be an English teacher, jobs here will be hard to find. Not impossible, just difficult. In addition, you'll be VERY reliant on her for translating everything from the most basic bill to complex employment contracts. This is very taxing on anyone and no matter how patient they are, could put extra strain on the relationship - love or no love.

 

As another thought - you mentioned she was going to school for nursing or nursing management. If your girlfriend speaks English, could she not transfer that degree (with very little trouble - but maybe taking some exams stateside) to the US? I know that in most places in the US, they're always seeking skilled nurses, nurses assistants, and so on. If she has the degree and some practical experience - and if it is able to be taken with her and used in the US, would it not be easier for her to move there until you can get your German skills up to par?

 

She can get her experience - you your German - you both can see how it works out - and then return to Germany (possibly married?) and go from there.

 

In the end, stuff is just that - stuff. It's the relationships with the people that count the most.

 

Just a thought from the edge.

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I'm in the same situation as you pretty much...well except I'm gay and have 0 chance of marrying my BF and him coming here. So...Germany it is! :lol: . I guess the decision is "easier" for me.

 

I agree with some of the others. If it's truly love, then I think you should head over to Germany. You should definitely start learning German ASAP and enroll in some intensive language courses if you do end up going to Germany. If you're thinking of teaching English in Germany, there are TONS of threads here on the site already filled with some very valuable information. Try searching for "teaching English" or "TEFL". Viel Glück!

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Chad: bloody good luck to you, too! Don´t know anything about gay marriages..find a way! Bollocks to organized bigotry!

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Thanks John :). I'm not too worried about it. I've been to Germany, studied there, and loved it. Thankfully I'm fluent in German and know a lot of people there, so I'm not too worried about any of that.

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Hey guys, what are his options for a visa if they wanted to wait to marry say a year?

 

We are having side chats but I am best familiar with spousal visas.

 

Anyone know about the visa requirements when you just want to live without working, with a sponsor?

 

I suggested maybe a student visa for a language school, but also mentioned it is cheaper after the fact with the integration course.

 

So can he come if she signs an affidavit of support? I know I read about that before on TT, but am not sure what that kind of visa is called. ANyone know.

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If he just gets a student visa, wouldn't he have to prove that he has enough $$$ (around $10,000 for an uni student) to cover his Lebenskosten for a year in order to get an Aufenthaltserlaubnis?

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Yeah, I mentioned that as well. And that it might be better to just do the integration course, considering that and also the costs of private schools. Integration course you get in the end for .50 cents an hour and go all the way to B1, for less then the price of one level at Goethe.

 

But he mentioned the other visa, where you are here only as a dependent, and not able to work. But I am not sure of the re quirements, and also not sure if someone in an ausbildung would meet the financial requirements, but I know nothing about that visa, or even what it is called.

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By the time my 3 month visa is up, she would be done with schooling and working at her new job also...

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Maybe it's called an Einladungsvisum(visa). I think I might've just made that up. I found some information on it HERE, but it's in German and you want to have your girlfriend look over it all.

 

 

Der Antragsteller muss u. a. nachweisen, dass sein Aufenthalt in der Bundesrepublik Deutschland finanziell abgesichert ist. Kann er Reise und Aufenthalt nicht aus eigenen Mitteln finanzieren, kann sich der Gastgeber verpflichten, für alle aus dem Aufenthalt des Gastes in Deutschland entstehenden Kosten einschließlich der Kosten für eventuelle Krankenbehandlungen und Rückführung in das Heimatland aufzukommen.

Zuständig für die Entgegennahme einer solchen Verpflichtungserklärung sind regelmäßig die deutschen Ausländerbehörden am Wohnort des Einladers.

Darüber hinaus muss der Antragsteller grundsätzlich eine schengenweit gültige Reisekrankenversicherung (mit einer Deckungssumme von mindestens 30.000,- Euro) nachweisen. Diese Versicherung kann ggfs. auch vom Einlader für den ausländischen Gast abgeschlossen werden.

Basically your girlfriend would have to prove that she has enough money to COMPLETELY cover you, that includes insurance and a return trip.

 

AHA! Here's the thread on TT that concerns how to go about writing the letter and whatever else you might want to know.

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No problem:). I hope that helps! Good luck with everything and I hope you guys get it all settled. I know how ridiculously irritating, confusing, and stressful it can be.

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Also, if I was bringing a lump sum of cash with me, would that be in my benefit since I can prove I can pay for things on my own?

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I'm not sure, honestly. I would think it all depends on how much they consider "Lebenskosten" to be when invited by another person. I'm trying to get a student visa right now (if I get accepted to a university) and I have to prove that I have about $10,000 in the bank in order to prove that I can handle everything on my own.

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I do have a Bachelor of Science Degree in Criminal Justice from San Diego State University...Not sure how that transfers over there...

 

it doesn't. I'm a retired US federal agent. I minored in CJ. Here it means squat. In order to get into LE in Germany (or any other job), you'll need to have the training. You could look into it here, but depending on what area you want (patrolman type work or investigator), you'd have to go to German schooling and / or university. Not as easy a route as it is back in the US.

 

 

Also, if I was bringing a lump sum of cash with me, would that be in my benefit since I can prove I can pay for things on my own?

 

I would seriously advise against carrying large sums of cash. Unless you'd enjoy having a nice long conversation with DHS, ATF, FBI, airport security and who knows who else, do not carry "large sums of cash" through a US airport bound for international locations. But then again, if you enjoy interrogational enemas... proceed. :)

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I have to warn about being biased, but I would definitely recommend Germany as the best place.

 

I lived in the US for quite a few years, met my current wife there, and did actually go through the entire process of getting US citizenship (and I totally hated every single step of this process, it was an absolute bitch.) Needless to say, both my US-born wife and I still packed all our stuff and moved to Munich this month. For a better life.

 

BTW, none of us has German citizenship, but we still chose to live here. And yes, we do still have to fill forms and follow a process here, but at least it seems to me that the German process is more streamlined and a lot of it actually makes sense to me, as opposed to the US one which seemed to just say: "USA is the best country in the world, so if you want to live here shut up and suck it up!"

 

We're transferring all our money from the US by bank transfer (wire) and as long as we were able to get job offers in Germany, we'll have no problem getting residence permits here. The process is much quicker than in the US and you also get a lot of help along the way...

 

I agree you should forget about being PC and get married already -- if you love someone enough to move to a different country, marriage is a small commitment compared to that :) It will be much easier to get a job and residence permits as married and if things don't work out, you'd still be in a great position to choose which country you like best.

 

But once you go to Germany and get settled in there you'd probably never want to go back anyway :)

My two cents

 

P.S. In terms of settling down, I firmly believe Germany is a better place to raise children than the US.

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I would come over here, let the girlfriend get some good nursing experience under her belt, and you could do some travelling here during your holidays.

 

It's not impossible to get a good job with no or little German. I know a Danish guy who's been here for over ten years and still can't speak German but he works for a Japanese electronics company.

 

Firstly, you might be able to teach English. Get a one-month training course with CTEFLA qualification at the end of it. It won't prepare you completely, but that is the minimum that good language schools are asking for.

 

Keep learning German. If you're good at it, why not keep teaching while you perfect your German and then do the interpreting qualification in the end? The police always need interpreters to interview their suspects, in court and so on and they pay well.

 

I know of an American art director of a magazine who was head-hunted from NYC and brought over here. He was supposed to learn German but didn't really. But he did work here.

 

It's not impossible.But being married would make things easier as you are a non-EU citizen.

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She has an amazing family that she spends a ton of her time with and also some great friends, all of whom love me.

All that AND a car? Git yer ass over here.

 

She would never get the same pay/benefits over there.

 

You will love spending every Sunday with her family.

 

FF

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Good last point, Fraufruit! SD:here´s your German class for starters: Kaffee und Kuchen!

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