What made you laugh today?

20,513 posts in this topic

9 hours ago, SS Dave said:



Oooooooh; look at that poor station wagon - all blue, too...

Someone should take care of it by hand-feeding. Quick, get a petrol can with the right kind of fuel!


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

We love visiting our old friend Pete, who has just turned 82.

He always has funny stories to tell! He needs to get his fingerprints taken at the cop shop next week ( Brexit ).


I asked him if he had ever had his fingerprints taken before. He smiled!  “ Ah, I remember being in Botswana and needed that to be allowed to travel around so I went to the police station.


The police wanted to fingerprint someone they had just arrested but they had handcuffed him and couldn’t find the key. One cop had a whole bunch of keys but none of them worked.

I showed the policeman and prisoner my car keys. Can I help?

Both the policeman and prisoner laughed!

I had my fingerprints done and , when I left, they were still trying to unlock the handcuffs.”😂



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

“There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.”

― Quentin Crisp



Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why I Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? 

Answer: Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? 

Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.


Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now