What made you laugh today?

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2 hours ago, HH_Sailor said:

Can't access the Dan Quayle piece, as I'm in the EU.

Data Protection...

:unsure:

 

You aren't missing much. The article isn't particularly exciting and just shows that the ex VP's wisdom hasn't improved with age. Still, he manages to be the Chairman of some private equity firm.

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The author of the Quayle piece is Cal Thomas, a conservative writer.

Thomas gives an example of Quayle's thinking: '[He] had a thought about China and its near monopoly on the production of drugs: “We used to have a section in the (U.S.) Code that gave a tax preference to pharmaceutical companies that manufactured their products in Puerto Rico.” He’s right, but Congress passed and President Bill Clinton signed a law phasing out those tax breaks and by 2006, as the New York Post reported, “the industry began a major pullout from the island.
“They left Puerto Rico and went to China,” Quayle recalls. “I ask you today: would you rather have medications produced in Puerto Rico, or in China?”
Is that the same Puerto Rico Trump has left to dangle in the wind after the catastrophic hurricane two years ago? On the other hand, perhaps if medications had still been manufactured in PR, there'd have been more haste to help the country recover. [brief pause for mature reflection] No, we'd have given the contracts to China, because they'd do it cheaper, rather than help US citizens - Puerto Ricans are, indeed, citizens of the United States.
Anyhow, the article is full of such gems. And here are other verified Quayle quotes:
“Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.”
“Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.”
“Mars is essentially in the same orbit ... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.”
“What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”
“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”
“I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change.”
“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared.'”
“Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”
Let's hope he does better in his current job, where it's hoped he's merely a figurehead.

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My wife came home early to find me in the kitchen cooking a lovely candlelit dinner on the table and place settings for two.

"Oh this is a surprise" she said.

"Too right it is," I replied "I didn't expect you back till Monday! “ 

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I like it when salt-of-the-earth craftsmen have kept the touch with the ground...

 

 

yourShit.jpg

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Three Men in Heaven


    Three men were sitting on a bench in heaven discussing how they died.

    The first man said "I died of cancer."

    The second man said, "I died of tuberculosis."

    The third man said "I died of Seenus."

    The first two men said, "No, you mean sinus."

    The third man said "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best friend's wife, and he seen us!"

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My little **** of teenage son found a sex tape his mum and I made years ago and threatened to release it on to the internet if we didn't buy him a new PS4.

"Good luck son," I told him, "it's on Betamax!" 

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https://edition.cnn.com/2020/03/30/us/washington-man-arrested-pit-bull-drive-trnd/index.html?utm_term=link&utm_medium=social&utm_content=2020-03-31T02%3A10%3A00&utm_source=twCNN

 

A man allegedly teaching his dog to drive was arrested after leading troopers on a high speed chase

A man was arrested Sunday after leading troopers on a high-speed chase with his dog sitting in the driver's seat, a spokeswoman for the Washington State Patrol said.

The man from Lakewood, Washington, hit two cars on separate occasions and failed to stop both times, leading state troopers on a high-speed chase up Interstate 5, the spokeswoman said. No major injuries were reported in either crash.
"He was driving very erratically. So erratically that multiple people called 911," trooper Heather Axtman told CNN.
The suspect was driving "absolutely recklessly," and a pursuit ensued at 109 miles an hour, she said. One of the troopers attempted to corner the suspect's car, looked inside and realized a pit bull was sitting in the driver's seat while the suspect steered, Axtman said.

 

 

driving "absolutely recklessly,"  what would you expect from a pit bull?

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On the 10th day of quarantine  in Scotland!

Read somewhere a guy‘s wife asked: „ do you want to eat dinner?“

 

Husband: „ what are the choices?“

Wife: „ yes or fucking no?“

😂

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This photo of Gove

gove.jpg.d91820d670c91f0b854a28fa9525b11

 

Reminded me of this Harry Enfield character

 

 

 

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