What made you laugh today?

17,653 posts in this topic

Yes. This is this the “what made you laugh today” thread, not the “Brexit” or “DJT” thread.  It’s seems meant to just be fun and light hearted.  We could all use some of that.  😂

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On 30.12.2019, 20:11:40, john g. said:

" Ah, yes, Schatzi, "

 

Its about time you recognise this translates as "oh no - not again".

(With thought behind this "why did I latch onto some crazy furriner")

 

Today my (German)  wife said "shall we watch a Dad's Army episode"?

 

Edit: I have the complete DVD set  :D

 

 

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Happy New Year, HEM!

:rolleyes:

( I know what you mean but it was the a first time for the people in the queue, who were bewildered or didn´t hear the video!! ).

How often has a man, stuttering, and with an apple in his mouth (before the dénouement )  EVER been HEARD in a Cretan bank in a queue?

Not that often. And Napoleon ( apparently only spent one night here...the place ( a kind of ruin ) still hasn´t been cleaned up since that night...near a dry cleaner´s, by the way! )

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You have a question and need the advice of an expert, but you don't know one, and you turn to a forum? You will regret this step!

 

Example:

Suppose there is a banana in front of you and you do not know anything about bananas. Since you do not know any banana experts personally, you turn to an imaginary fruit forum:

 

Hello, everyone,

 I'm hoping I can get some help here. I bought a banana at the supermarket and I don't know how to eat it. Can someone tell me, how to peel it and if one can eat the peel with it?

 

 Thanks

 

 And then these are possible answers:

 

The elitist:

 Fruit is only bought in specialist shops, where they also explain how to eat it. Those who buy their fruit in the supermarket do not deserve it any other way, but the main thing is to be stingy!

 

The old hare:

 If you have no idea what you're buying, you're better off leaving it alone. I recommend seedless grapes for the start.

 

The Fanboy:

 I do not buy bananas on principle, I only use mango products.

 

The communicator:

 I don't know anything about bananas, but I have a kiwi here, which is best cut in the middle and spooned out.

 

The Annoyed One:

 Have you already used the search function? This question has been answered 1000 times.

 

The businessman:

 I've got some apples lying around. They're great. You want to buy them? I am a registered seller on this forum...

 

The fake expert:

What kind exactly is it? If you want to have a proper answer you have to ask precise questions. It is best to take pictures of the banana as well.

 

The networker:

 Please introduce yourself first. We have a subforum called "Introductions".

 

The Admin:

You have posted your question in the forum "Fruit - General", but it belongs in the category "General questions about eating yellow fruits". I moved the thread there.

 

The Troll:

 It's very simple, you have to squeeze the banana and squeeze out the pulp, then you can eat the peel!

 

 The Google/Wikipedia guy:

 According to Wikipedia, the "pulp" of many varieties of Musa × paradisiaca and other hybrids is edible.

 

The spellkeeper:

 You have a comma after the word "me". Please try to use correct punctuation if you expect us to take care of your problems.

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27 minutes ago, franklan said:

...

 you turn to an imaginary fruit forum:

...

 

Sorry you are not clear.  Is the fruit imaginary or the forum?

 

If it is the fruit then you can't eat it anyway, so then the rest of your post is pointless!

 

But in general, if you want to know all about fruit then you should ask @fraufruit

 

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Nintendo has a gaming console just for ladies!

 

(It's Dutch, but hey, you'll understand it anyway)

 

 

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It's actually Flemish from Belgium. We would never do such a woman unfriendly commercial in the metoo era :).

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3 minutes ago, LukeSkywalker said:

It's actually Flemish from Belgium. We would never do such a woman unfriendly commercial in the metoo era :).

Sorry, my grasp of Dutch is good enough to differentiate between a northerner and a southerner, but to differentiate Flemish from southern Dutch... Nope.

 

Anyway, here is something definitely Flemish (This time with English subtitles)

 

 

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54 minutes ago, jeremytwo said:

I heard the Saudis wanted Soleimani as far back as October from friends. I never believed the intel I was getting was correct though.

 

What a disillusional muppet!

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5 minutes ago, French bean said:

I'm afraid the number of articles I read from so called quality sources where the spelling is poor - American not British, grammer is poor...

 

😂

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2 minutes ago, AlexTr said:

 

😂

You have to remember, these are in British articles with British journalists.

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2 hours ago, French bean said:

You have to remember, these are in British articles with British journalists.

 

Do you not see the problem?

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