What made you laugh today?

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At a crowded city bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Embarrassed, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t. Once again she reached behind her to unzip her skirt more, and again she could not make the step.

A large guy who was standing behind her picked her up by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned on the would-be Samaritan. "How dare you touch me! I don’t even know who you are!"

The guy smiled and drawled, "Ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we were friends."

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A back to school video a family made makes me laugh. Maybe because I don't have kids to entertain in summer or send to school? seems funny to me:

'Bye Bye Bye Back to School' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWxp1AyhmZQ set to an NSYNC song 'Bye Bye Bye'

followed by

'We Can't Help with Homework Anymore'  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUJvX13QOzI set to an REO Speedwagon's 'I Can't Fight This Feeling'

Hope they make you laugh too. 

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, AlexTr said:

At a crowded city bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Embarrassed, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t. Once again she reached behind her to unzip her skirt more, and again she could not make the step.

A large guy who was standing behind her picked her up by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned on the would-be Samaritan. "How dare you touch me! I don’t even know who you are!"

The guy smiled and drawled, "Ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we were friends."

 

Happy anniversary; 40th at least - "tram" instead of "bus".

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21 minutes ago, Sannerl said:

 

Happy anniversary; 40th at least - "tram" instead of "bus".

 

Completely baffled about the anniversary thing. Care to share with the class.

 

If you're just implying that this is an old joke, all jokes are old. My fave is old bull, young bull.

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I am a dinosaur! The other week, my SmartPhone was so full of crap, I had to erase a bunch of stuff because nothing was quo vasis-ing. Doing so, I erased even the email  program. In desperation, I somehow managed to create a new email address which no one uses! Fiddling around yesterday, I somehow ( DO NOT ASK ME TO REMEMBER OR UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID!! )...found my old email address was working with 800 emails on it!

I am delighted--not proud (because I don´t have a clue what I did! )...and relieved. I have been paying attention since yesterday to erase a few hundred of them without erasing the whole bloody thing!

 

:lol:

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6 hours ago, AlexTr said:

 

Completely baffled about the anniversary thing. Care to share with the class.

 

If you're just implying that this is an old joke, all jokes are old. My fave is old bull, young bull.

 

Old joke (older than implied actually)

 

Your favorite? "Alm", cows chatting - sunny side, other side, stamina vs. operation?

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Nope. The punchline starts "Let's walk down."

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I went for a spontaneous check up at a dermatologist today - all is well. When he said „ 30 euros „, I handed over 2 twenty euro notes and he started filling in a receipt😂

A receipt here? I was so amused I couldn‘t remember if he‘d given me 10 euros back— and neither could he!! This went on for a couple of minutes!

Then he just gave me 10 euros anyway!

 

Later this morning, had a great chat with an old school friend from England, retired Murder Squad , and I told him about my psychopathic French neighbour and asked him for some advice!

“ And if that doesn‘t work, John, tell him you have a friend in England who‘ll send over the Kray Twins to pay him a visit!“ 😂

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5 hours ago, AlexTr said:

Nope. The punchline starts "Let's walk down."

 

"...and get them all." Otto Waalkes.

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8 minutes ago, john g. said:

I went for a spontaneous check up at a dermatologist today - all is well. When he said „ 30 euros „, I handed over 2 twenty euro notes and he started filling in a receipt😂

A receipt here? I was so amused I couldn‘t remember if he‘d given me 10 euros back— and neither could he!! This went on for a couple of minutes!

Then he just gave me 10 euros anyway!

 

"flummoxed"-thread worthy. (bowing)

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"Flummoxed"-worthy, too -

 

"Skirt steak", "onglet", "Kronfleisch", "Saumfleisch", "Nierenzapfen" - familiar terms, more or less.

 

But - wait for it - now, they have a new marketing term: "Hanging Tender." Made me think of the part accompanying Rocky Mountain Oysters...

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Why wait for the nurses when you could grab the coppers' bums right there and then? That's what I'd do. As an elderly double -amputee I know I'd get away with it. Who's going to dare prosecute me?

 

 

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1 hour ago, Smaug said:

Why wait for the nurses when you could grab the coppers' bums right there and then? That's what I'd do. As an elderly double -amputee I know I'd get away with it. Who's going to dare prosecute me?

 

 

You might get away with that, but not with nurse grabbing! Trust me, we do not deal kindly with that. ( j2- take note!)

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4 hours ago, jeremytwo said:

 

I wanna be like that! And get to grab the nurses in the home! :)

 

3 hours ago, RedMidge said:

[...]not with nurse grabbing! Trust me, we do not deal kindly with that. ( j2- take note!)

 

Hahaha!!

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