What made you laugh today?

18,483 posts in this topic

21 hours ago, john g. said:

I know there´s currently a " shouting neighbour thread " on here and it reminded me of today..

 

We have an obnoxious neighbour (who happens to be French, 68 years old and none the wiser..a scrounger, a thief ) and an old lady outside in the street asked me   in Greek " can I have the aluminium roofing he stole from you? ". 

Me: " Did he? "

 

..and she showed me where he´d hid it. We had some building work done recently and stuff was lined up against walls for weeks..including our ex-aluminium sheets for a temporary roof. I took photos.

 

Another Greek neighbour, younger guy and  funny to boot, spoke loudly in English  " yep, the malaka stole that. My auntie is asking if she can take it "

 

An elderly Greek couple - other neighbours -came along and we were all outside the French guy´s house and they said in Greek " he´s a malaka ".

Then the younger guy said  (in English) " that fucking malaka wished me Happy New Year on January 3rd and I said back " fuck you, malaka " and the French guy said " you call me a malaka ?"

 

..and the younger guy--we call him Billy - then did a pretty excited reenactment of the moment.." yes, MA LA KA " !!!

:lol:

 

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MALAKA

21 hours ago, john g. said:

I know there´s currently a " shouting neighbour thread " on here and it reminded me of today..

 

We have an obnoxious neighbour (who happens to be French, 68 years old and none the wiser..a scrounger, a thief ) and an old lady outside in the street asked me   in Greek " can I have the aluminium roofing he stole from you? ". 

Me: " Did he? "

 

..and she showed me where he´d hid it. We had some building work done recently and stuff was lined up against walls for weeks..including our ex-aluminium sheets for a temporary roof. I took photos.

 

Another Greek neighbour, younger guy and  funny to boot, spoke loudly in English  " yep, the malaka stole that. My auntie is asking if she can take it "

 

An elderly Greek couple - other neighbours -came along and we were all outside the French guy´s house and they said in Greek " he´s a malaka ".

Then the younger guy said  (in English) " that fucking malaka wished me Happy New Year on January 3rd and I said back " fuck you, malaka " and the French guy said " you call me a malaka ?"

 

..and the younger guy--we call him Billy - then did a pretty excited reenactment of the moment.." yes, MA LA KA " !!!

:lol:

 

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MALAKA

Follow up an hour ago!!!!

The Auntie banged on my door;"ela!" (Come!)...she wanted the aluminium NOW...so she went to the shed and the French guy and wife were there..and started arguing with the Greek Auntie. Then her husband came out..then Billy came, SmartPhone en mano and filming the French guy shouting " you want to kill me " (in English ). Then the French guy´s wife called the police.

 

:lol:The two  cops ignored me whenever I tried to say something, one of them chain smoking whilst asking questions (interesting: all done per DU!! And first names!)...

 

Plenty of really loud voices, gesticulating, malakas all over the place.

In the end, I phoned the engineer who had done the work and he said " oh, I let him have the two plates before I found out he was a lunatic..ages ago ",

 

Me: " ok, everyone... let him have the stuff " .(broken Greek )

 

The arguments continued about whose plant pots were here or there, and/or where they shouldn´t be!! (All of the pots of all parties are a disgrace to the eye anyway!! Broken!! Dirty, dead plants "..):lol:

 

There came a moment the French malaka shouted: " All I want is FREEDOM...these people all make problems for me  (in English )...

 

I burst out laughing! Him? Freedom? He calls the cops on everyone if he doesn´t like them..any excuse will do...all the neighbourhood call him malaka!!!

 

And the cops told the very loud French woman to go home: " go your home now "...

 

Cops left smiling..another afternoon in a peaceful village with some malakas living in it..some of the positive kind..some of the malakas low life...

 

 

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A facebook friend in England was asking for help in finding a 4 mtr work top for the kitchen and explaning that the company only sells 3 mtrs,someone replied " buy the three mtr and cut a bit off" nice bit of British humour,i laughed even more when after telling my German workmate he said"but it will be too short after that" they,ll never learn will they?

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4 minutes ago, bobbylines said:

A facebook friend in England was asking for help in finding a 4 mtr work top for the kitchen and explaning that the company only sells 3 mtrs,someone replied " buy the three mtr and cut a bit off" nice bit of British humour,i laughed even more when after telling my German workmate he said"but it will be too short after that" they,ll never learn will they?

i'm sorry, the joke's on you here. He did the same thing to you that you did to him.

 

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16 minutes ago, food mom said:

i'm sorry, the joke's on you here. He did the same thing to you that you did to him.

 

??? why?Please explain,i tend to think you do not have much experience with north german building workers!ps it was a serious answer on his part.

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19 minutes ago, food mom said:

If you have to ask, he's made his point.

 

?..You are obviously clevere as me because i haven,t got a clue what you are on about,maybe you don't understand British humour .

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280 characters?  That's the sort of knowledge Twitterers have, not old ladies who are secret Luddites.  :D

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Yep. The first thing I did when the limit was increased was typing Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz. It fits very well :)

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26 minutes ago, cb6dba said:

What is the tile grouty stuff called in Germany, for floor tiles?

 

16 minutes ago, El Jeffo said:

 

Fugenmasse or Fugenmörtel.

 

7 minutes ago, cb6dba said:

I have no idea...

 

 

:lol:

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Went to the O2 shop today. I’ve sent three letters asking for written confirmation of cancellation at the end of the contract, which will be June 2018. No reply. Given the three month cancellation rule and anticipating horrid German customer service I began this process of sending letters in August 2017. I receive a mysterious sms in 

german from O2 and go to the store to find what is up. I asked the guy if it might have something to do with all the letters I’ve sent. I explain the entire History if my Life with O2 and he looks in his computer. Yep, you will be cancelled in June 2018. Fantastic I say. Could you please print that out for me? No, this is my Datenschutz. I reply, yeah, but this is my data. So then I ask if he can make a notation in his computer to require the company to provide me with written confirmation of the cancellation  as I have requested no less than 3 times now. No, I can’t do that, he says. All I could do was start laughing. 

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