What made you laugh today?

22,741 posts in this topic

8 hours ago, HEM said:

WorldCup.jpg

Funny, I saw the same version with a Belgian and German. Dutchman still at the world cup 👻.

 

PS- We never failed in group stage.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Updated nursery rhymes to reflect current issues likely to confront young children:

 

Quote

It's raining,

It's pouring,

Of course it's global warming.

...

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

to buy some chips and sweeties.

Now Jack is morbidly obese,

And Jill's got diabetes.

 

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere:

Quote

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that Helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 Years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take both of you for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

 

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A new business client of mine sent me his filled in application form today. Half of it was empty.

Then he resent and bits were still missing. I replied. And then again with missing stuff.

He filled in the rest, apologised for the mistakes ( just recovering from an Xmas party😂) and asked me to check.

I forwarded the form and told him I didn't dare look at the form again!😂

The insurance company wrote back two questions were still unanswered!😂

 

All sorted finally! Yay!!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the request from my dear  Nicole today to buy laktosenfreie Milch. So I went to the supermarket and asked  the lady there to help me out. 

" I can't see well."

She obliged. "There's this one and that one."

" That one is in der Werbung."

" I don't watch TV. "

Jeez. Who cares what is in the Werbung?

I am happy because I don't care what is in the Werbung.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 minutes ago, john g. said:

I had the request from my dear  Nicole today to buy laktosenfreie Milch. So I went to the supermarket and asked  the lady there to help me out. 

" I can't see well."

She obliged. "There's this one and that one."

" That one is in der Werbung."

" I don't watch TV. "

Jeez. Who cares what is in the Werbung?

I am happy because I don't care what is in the Werbung.

 

She probably meant "Wochenwerbung" aka weekly leaflet - that milk was a special offer.

She was trying to be extra nice, but you... ;-(

5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
24 minutes ago, Sannerl said:

 

She probably meant "Wochenwerbung" aka weekly leaflet - that milk was a special offer.

She was trying to be extra nice, but you... ;-(

I was zickig! I admit!! Frustration re my eyes. Ok on the SmartPhone mostly but out on the streets.. no current glasses are usable. And it's so dark so often this time of year. 
Yeah, I fon't want special offers. I want to see.

Not her fault.

I'm starting to understand Rentner!👍

I don't want to be one of them blocking the way when I'm shopping!😂

( But I meanwhile am!)

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now