How to deal with the German mentality/rudeness

[yourkeau 7,695]

12 minutes ago, pmd said:

 

I would have called for the store manager and explained what happened. Just try to get the situation resolved with the minimum of fuss. I'd imagine It's no fun being a cashier, especially at busy stores.

Amazon workers pee in the bottle, should the cashiers, too? Definitely, not because they are mostly women. I guess the people would have been more sympathetic if the cashiers told them just that: Hey, I am closing the desk because I need to pee and I can't hold your 60 items, sorry.

 

Totally acceptable in Israel, but in the West, it is "rude" and a "violation of the private sphere". 

 

9 minutes ago, pmd said:

 

You could leave a Google review. I have to go to a eye doctors soon and all doctors seem fine but I've ruled out two based on (recent) reviews highlighting the rudeness of those working in reception.

 

 

The doctors can ask Google to remove bad reviews, this is Germany. The only reason why they haven't done so is most doctors are technophobes. 

[pmd 685]

15 minutes ago, yourkeau said:

Amazon workers pee in the bottle, should the cashiers, too? Definitely, not because they are mostly women. I guess the people would have been more sympathetic if the cashiers told them just that: Hey, I am closing the desk because I need to pee and I can't hold your 60 items, sorry.

 

Totally acceptable in Israel, but in the West, it is "rude" and a "violation of the private sphere". 

 

 

The doctors can ask Google to remove bad reviews, this is Germany. The only reason why they haven't done so is most doctors are technophobes. 

 

I think you misunderstood me. I am sympathetic towards the cashier in this case. It could have been sorted out with the manager. What I will say is it's amazing how often people fail to see the red light being switched on by the cashier - maybe colour blindness (not joking)?

 

Re. Google - yep, the reviews are still up and while they are, it's informing my decision where to go. 

[emkay 9,818]

47 minutes ago, pmd said:

 

You could leave a Google review. I have to go to a eye doctors soon and all doctors seem fine but I've ruled out two based on (recent) reviews highlighting the rudeness of those working in reception.

 

I thought about doing that too but….a couple of years ago, I went to a urologist and literally left in tears after he was outrageously rude to me. I don’t think that anyone goes to a urologist unless they feel really unwell! After I was hastily consulted, he threw a prescription for antibiotics at me and stood up so I’d leave. When I said that I have pain in my kidney area, he just flipped out claiming that I can only be treated for one issue and why should he help me more when the waiting room is full of patients with appointments made months ago.

 

There was one other person in the waiting room! I was there in the open Sprechstunde.

 

I had months of problems after that having had to wait for appointments elsewhere. Thankfully well again now.

 

My point was….after this incident, unbeknown to me, my daughter was so horrified at my experience that she wrote a very well worded google review to reflect my experience. After a week, she says it was removed.

 

Regarding yesterday’s incident, we’ll write a letter to the head doctor explaining the situation and hope that he sees to preventing other such occurrences.

[kiplette 8,383]

2 hours ago, yourkeau said:

I guess the people would have been more sympathetic if the cashiers told them just that: Hey, I am closing the desk because I need to pee and I can't hold your 60 items, sorry.

 

I would imagine most people would have been more sympathetic if she had had asked the customer before to put the sign on the Laufband saying - no more customers at this till.

 

If you carry on unloading shopping in the face of that sign, or as I have also seen, move it to the back of your own shopping, then tough old boots, I have never seen a cashier refuse to serve someone in that circumstance, but it would be absolutely fair not to. 

 

Give and take. Both sides. I won't unpack my shopping onto a closed till, if it's not closed, the expectation is it's going to go through. Seems fair. 

In an emergency, wee-based or otherwise, I would hope for a word of explanation.

[Petro6golf 453]

On 2/8/2022, 1:11:42, mike kelly said:

What gets me is how rude some supermarket cashiers are. Thankfully self checkouts are on the way to solving this problem.

 

Yeah but the Germans have not grasped the concept of self checkout as they still employ some mouthbreather that needs to input some access code or check your id or any other manner of random interaction. Self checkout here is more like assisted checkout. 

[slammer 755]

On 10.2.2022, 14:25:05, Petro6golf said:

 

Yeah but the Germans have not grasped the concept of self checkout as they still employ some mouthbreather that needs to input some access code or check your id or any other manner of random interaction. Self checkout here is more like assisted checkout. 

for some reason I can´t stand the self checkout system and I avoid it to the point of standing in line for ages even though the self checkout is empty. I understand the concept, I just don´t like it. Also I have never, and I mean ever met an unfriendly cashier.

[BethAnnBitt 2,628]

51 minutes ago, slammer said:

for some reason I can´t stand the self checkout system and I avoid it to the point of standing in line for ages even though the self checkout is empty. I understand the concept, I just don´t like it. Also I have never, and I mean ever met an unfriendly cashier.

I’ve also never met an unfriendly cashier.  🙂  Since I live on the border and sometimes shop in 🇨🇭I will say that self checkout there works beautifully.  Not much of it here to speak of anyway except in big box stores, which I try to avoid like the plague (both here and in the US).

[fraufruit 40,450]

I always appreciated the "helper" at the self check outs. I almost always had problems. Stopped using them a long time ago but, then again, I haven't shopped in 2 yrs. or so.

[keith2011 2,275]

My local super market has a self checkout system but it only excepts plastic not cash, pain in the neck if I only buy a couple of low cost items and even more of a pain in the neck for a big shop as there simply not enough room to place everything that is taken out of the trolley and scanned. I have stopped using them but suffer waiting in line at the low number (for the size of the shop imo) attended checkouts.

[kiplette 8,383]

Yup, the bagging area is horribly badly designed and too small. At least in the ones I visit.

 

Also you have to scan every item and can't say '12 UHT milks' as the cashier does, and that is a right pain and makes a mess - the box can't go in the bagging area....

[optimista 5,605]

The BadWürttemburger and the Bavarian city dweller are completely different species. Some of you are just not shopping in the meanest places.  

 

Ergonomics and spatial awareness were never strong points of the Germans in my observation.

[jubinjohn 228]

On 09/02/2022, 10:49:11, emkay said:

It was at our local doctor’s surgery. After 5pm, one day a week, they only do Covid vaccinations.
 

As the man was leaving having been loudly and rudely dismissed, I saw that most of the other patients in the queue reached out to console him. Maybe he or his family will report the incident though he might be better off seeking another Hausarzt altogether.  I absolutely understand that most medical staff are under alot of pressure though this kind of behaviour is not acceptable under any circumstances.

Our kinderarzts staff are even worse. They won't take calls , they won't answer emails, they confirm their online appointment system and then reject appointments right at the appointment without even an apology. I ve heard them shouting at women who can't speak german. I assume those people were just there because the praxis had one  arab speaking staff doctor.

 

We complained two times to the doctor , he just sympathises with us but no actions. Apart from his horrible staff he is super nice and one of the best i would say.

Last week was the breaking point, they confirmed corona vaccination for my child, i took half day off , took her to the clinic just to find that vaccination is not possible because they failed to see covid-19 in my email. I feared this might happen so I tried to call them more that dozen times but no one would pick up the calls. What a bunch of irresponsible idiots?.  As icing on top they were arrogant too.

We could not take it any more, so we found another kinderarzt.  Hopefully he is as good as the previous one. But his staffs are definitely human. 

 

[fraufruit 40,450]

Good decision, jj.

[Anna66 2,591]

I have been here for nearly 20 years and I am still finding it very hard to deal with the German mentality and rudeness.

 

I am fluent in German but speak with an accent, occasionally making the mistakes common for English speaking people, mainly problems with der die and das. It's still not good enough for them...

 

What strikes me is that they honestly still believe they are better than everyone else. When people start banging on about it, and expressing their hatred to Americans or Brits etc I stand up and leave. No point in even arguing back. What is the point in discussing that with someone who believes they are better than you or always right?

 

They don't queue (stand in line) or say excuse me please rather expect you to have eyes in the back of your head. Don't even get me started with customer service. If you ever dare to complain they will gaslight you or say you are over sensitive too. I have had this in a few relationships with a German partner.

 

How to I deal with it? Not take it personally, it is part of their culture. They even refer to us as being "Scheissfreundlich". Shitty friendly. I am in Germany so have to accept it's like that and when in Rome and all. All it makes me realise is how much I miss my home sometimes.

 

[fraufruit 40,450]

When I hear them talking shit on Amis, their shit is usually true. 

[Anna66 2,591]

1 hour ago, fraufruit said:

When I hear them talking shit on Amis, their shit is usually true. 

 

If you say so. I prefer to stay away from people who whine about other people when they don't even know them, or stereotype people. I find it toxic. Prefer to be around people who talk about their last vacation, cinema, chit chat. Not bang on about how much they hate XXXX. Kind of brings the mood down.

[fraufruit 40,450]

I'm talking about over hearing conversations. Not the people who I am with.

 

Sorry, I wasn't clear.

[Anna66 2,591]

6 minutes ago, fraufruit said:

I'm talking about over hearing conversations. Not the people who I am with.

 

Sorry, I wasn't clear.

 

Ahh ok

I meant people I was with.

[optimista 5,605]

3 hours ago, Anna66 said:

If you ever dare to complain they will gaslight you or say you are over sensitive...

 

How to I deal with it? Not take it personally... I am in Germany so have to accept it's like that and when in Rome and all.

 

Your first point is spot on. They are educated this way. So yes, it is the culture. But the despicable is normalised. Your last point is difficult if you are not to lose yourself. To thine own self be true. 

 

You ain t gonna convert  'em but you don t have to silently take shit either. They answer with silence when you call them out but you get to keep your self esteem.

 

Don t let the bastards get you down, as the saying goes.

[maxie 552]

5 hours ago, Anna66 said:

I prefer to stay away from people who whine about other people when they don't even know them, or stereotype people.

I love to read this in a thread that consist mostly of enforcing the stereotypical rudeness of Germans. 

 

I dislike people being rude. If your friends or acquaintances behave this way, maybe it's time for new friends. 

 

I personally find it rude to refer to staff at the checkout as 

On 10.2.2022, 14:25:05, Petro6golf said:

some mouthbreather

because they are complying with legal requirements (checking age when buying alcohol or cigarettes) or are at hand if someone needs assistance.