Favourite movie lines

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From The League of Gentlemen (The proper one).


Looking up at a portrait above the stairway:


Major Race: "Is that your wife?"

Colonel Hyde: "Yes"

Race: "Is she dead?"

Hyde: "No I regret to say the bitch is still going strong."


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Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?

The Dude: 'Scuse me?

Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?

The Dude: I was talking about my rug.

Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?

The Dude: You mean coitus?


Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car?

The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh... uh, my briefcase.

Younger Cop: [expectant pause] In the briefcase?

The Dude: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers.

Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?

The Dude: I'm unemployed.


Walter Sobchak: Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it.

The Dude: Thank you Walter, that makes me feel very secure, it makes me feel very warm inside.


All from the best movie ever... The Big Lebowski!


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Richie, would you do me a favour and eat my pussy for me? Please?

- Uh, sure.

- Richie, hey!


All right. Pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers. All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it! pussy,


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One of my favorite scenes & quotes is from The Shawshank Redemption (1994). Morgan Freeman's narration, Mozart's aria "Duettino - Sull'aria" (from "The Marriage of Figaro"), Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne with that mischievous look on his face and that craning camera shot sweeping past the loudspeaker and over the inmates standing in the yard. I specifically remember that shot when the movie was first advertised on TV back in the '90s. A beautiful piece of cinema.


Ellis Boyd 'Red' Redding (Morgan Freeman narrating): "I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."


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Napoleon Dynamite


Deb: "What are you drawing?"

Napoleon: "A Liger."

Deb: "What's a Liger?"

Nap: "It's kind of like a mix between a lion and a tiger. Bred for its skills in magic."


Dr Strangelove


"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here... this is the war room!"


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Woody Allen in 'Play it again Sam' about ready meals:


" I suck 'em frozen"


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The Joker (Heath Ledger): "Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!"


The Dark Knight (2008)


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Tropic Thunder (2008)


Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Wow. Eight Oscars, four hundred million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.

Les Grossman: I couldn't have done it without you.

Rob Slolom: Really?

Les Grossman: No, fuckhead, of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.

Rob Slolom: I wouldn't do that.

Les Grossman: I'm kidding.

Rob Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You're a funny guy.

Les Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.


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A few times, actually...



"I'll be back" (Terminator)


Arnie : "I'll be back"


"I'll Be Back"

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From the Coen brothers movie The Hudsucker Proxy (1994), starring Tim Robbins, Jennifer Jason Leigh and the late Paul Newman (1925-2008). I'm sure some of us have worked for a company like Hudsucker Industries sometime in their life. ;)


Mail Room Orienter: "You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it's a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o'clock. Punch in late AND THEY DOCK YA! Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher AND THEY DOCK YA! Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher AND THEY DOCK YA! 6787049A/6, that is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong AND THEY DOCK YA! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint AND THEY DOCK YA!"




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Heavy Metal (1981)


Prosecutor: Are you Captain Lincoln F. Sternn?

Sternn: I am.

Prosecutor: Lincoln Sternn, you stand here accused of twelve counts of murder in the first degree, fourteen counts of armed theft of federation property, twenty-two counts of piracy in high space, eighteen counts of fraud, thirty-seven counts of rape...and one moving violation. How do you plead?

Sternn: Not guilty.

Charlie (Sternn's lawyer): Not guilty? Are you nuts?

Sternn: It's okay, Charlie, I got an angle.

Regolian: Call the first witness!

Charlie: But the prosecutor's got you cold. You're as guilty as a cat in a goldfish bowl.

Prosecutor: The prosecution calls Hanover Fiste.

Regolian: Calling Hanover Fiste!

Second Regolian: Hanover Fiste!

Third Regolian: Hanover Fiste!

Charlie: Listen, Sternn, change the plea to guilty. Throw yourself on the mercy of the court.

Sternn: I told you, Charlie, I got an angle.

Charlie: But the most we can do is get you buried in secrecy so your grave don't get violated. Plead guilty!

Sternn: Shut up, Charlie. I got an angle.

Charlie: What angle?!

Sternn [pointing at Fiste]: Him.

Prosecutor: State your name for the record.

Hanover Fiste: I am Hanover Fiste.

Prosecutor: You know the defendant Captain Sternn?

Hanover Fiste: Yes, I know Captain Sternn and never did there live a kinder, more generous man.

Sternn [whispering to Charlie]: I promised him thirty-five thousand zoolaks to testify on my behalf.

Fiste: He's an overflowing cup filled with the very cream of human goodness. In all the time I've known him he's never done anything immoral.

Sternn [to Charlie]: See.

Fiste [voice changing]: Unless maybe the pre-schoolers prostitute ring.

Crowd: Oh!

Fiste: And he's never done anything illegal...unless you count all the times he sold dope disguised as a nun.

Sternn [to crowd]: I...I...dunno...

Fiste: He's always been a good, law abiding citizen. [Growing larger] Oh, gimme a break! ...of the Federation and, and - shut up! Shut up! Shut up! ...a community-concious individual...

STERNN! He's nothing but a lowdown, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous, perverted worm. Hanging's too good for him, burning's too good for him! He should be torn into little-bitsy pieces and BURIED ALIVE!



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This is first rate shit from Goodfellas:


Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.

Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?

Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.


Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?

Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?

Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.

Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?

Henry Hill: Jus...

Tommy DeVito: What?

Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.

Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little ****ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?

Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!

Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the **** out of here, Tommy!

Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya mother****er! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.


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