How to deal with a psycho neighbour

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I need a bit of help as my wife is close to a nervous break down she just cry's a lot won't eat correctly and just feels like puking most of time. I'll try and keep it short and some up the stuff but its been going on for over 3 years. We bought a brand new middle house(row of 7) this wasn't easy for us as we both had average jobs and took over 5 years to save a decent deposit. And meant delaying having kids until we got the loan sorted out. The house is set over 4 floors celler to dach. In this time we have endured the following

6 months of stone and mud throwing onto our driveway.

ringing our door bell early in the morning and running away to wake us up.

ringing our doorbell at 6.45am to wake me up as I work nights and go to bed at 4am I get up at 8am to take my son to kindergarten as my wife works full time during the day. If we turn the bell off he will just bang on the door.(this is to always inform us he heard a bang the day or night before).

A month of throwing glass, fag ends and chewing gum on my drive way.

A video camera pointing at our entrance to watch our comings and goings.

His house is set a meter behind us and the bathrooms overhangs the house to create a sort of entrance of the front door this gives his house a kind of safety zone so that he's able to throw stuff without anyone seeing.

 

We went to a lawyer ref the stones mud etc(after my wife saw him up until then we had no idea where they were coming from) who sent a letter, he just replied saying it was the wind.

6 months ago he put a dent in our door while banging so we organised a meeting of all houses in our row where it was agreed that he would no longer come on our property and if there was problem his wife would coming after my wife came home from work. All he then did was wait 3 months so we couldn't sue for dent in door then he started up again. And in the mean time complaining to neighbour where we held the meeting for example we arrived home at 11pm one day after being stuck 4 hours in a traffic jam that we were to loud when we got home. He also had some sort of log book detailing every bang he's ever heard. We already know he's lying due to the fact last year we were in turkey for 10days and he said that only my wife and son went and that I stayed here in order to make bangs.

 

It came to a head a month ago when he decided to try ringing our bell at 3am in morning after I got back from work, my sons bedroom is directly above where I park, our front door is 2 meters from our stairs both my son and wife leave their doors open in case their is a problem with my son, so I am always quiet. Anyway I answer the door he ends up falling over on his way back to his garden and gets up and try's attacking me I move out of the way as he's jumping towards me he misses and lands on his face, I put my hand on his back(10 second max) to prevent him getting up doing anything else I tell him he has no chance, then go back in the house and my wife calls the police. Then he starts banging my door down for 10 mins before going home. The police come say they don't get involved in this stuff we explain or the shit what he's done to us in the last 3 years. The neighbours got blood on his face and ask me if I pushed him my german sucks by the way so I didn't really know what they were saying I said yes (as I pushed him away from the bell) to stop him waking up my wife and son. The police go then he starts ringing my bell again we call the police they say turn the bell off then he starts banging on the door again. The police come back they can tell my neighbour is a nutter. He's oriental by the way married with one child but they sleep separately and do not associate with anybody just stay in the house the whole time no friends etc at all. All the stuff is done when his wife is not there taking the kid to school or when she works. She had no idea any of this is going on hard to believe I know.

Anyway we already told the police this so they tell him to get his wife he refuses as she has to sleep there no way she did nt hear any of stuff. So they take him a way to the police station then at 7.30am when he gets back he rings my bell some more and runs off. Prior to this night, every morning around 7am he was going into his garden hiding being the fence and making large bangs in order to wake me up this happened for about a month. He was also waking up other neighbour a couple people saw him from the houses behind us but couldn't see him making the bang just that he comes out goes behind the fence bang happens then he goes back inside. They don't want to make a statement as they did nt see how he made the bangs. So now I have to go the police station next month as I'm accused of breaking his nose our insurance does not cover this, so do I waste more money on this nutter by using a lawyer,so far we the victims have had to pay out for stuff yet none of this has costs him a penny and I bet he's laughing his arse off at us.

We have tried everything my wife talking to him etc me warning him to piss off but nothing works he just acts all innocence then shit starts up a week or 2 later. MY wife wants to move but that means dropping at least 30k on this house then costs in buying a new one another 20k at least.

And its really pissing me off I work my arse off on a tax card 5 this kind of money is 5 years wages for me for which we've done nothing wrong.

We've never had a party here we don't drink etc don't play music etc he's just got some kind of vendetta against us which is ruing our life's causing arguments between my wife and myself she wants to run away as its making her ill and me dropping 50k on some nutter makes me sick and there's no way we could go now anyway we'd have to save a couple of years to afford it which means going without holiday etc. We wanted another baby but can't with my wife in this state we already lost one a few months back.

Sorry for the long winded post theres a lot more which I have not gone into.

Also did you know that if i sell my house and the new owner has similar problems I can get sued by the new owner for selling them a house next to crazy perosn life just gets better and better.

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That sounds awful. To be honest, other than waiting for your neighbor to move out (might take a while) or stop acting crazy (not gonna happen), I don't really think you will have much of a choice other than move. You'll probably lose some money but you'll gain back your sanity (and if your wife is really suffering so badly from this it might just be worth it).

But where did you hear that you could be sued by a new owner if you don't tell them about the crazy neighbor? I can't imagine that is true. After all you don't even know if he may only be acting like this with you (doesn't sound like your other neighbors have this problem).

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Wow, can't you sue the ass that sold YOU the house? I think a one time good deal is to kick the living shit out of him (on your property of course) and take the punishment from the legal system. This way, he just might get the message and find some other poor bastards door bell to ring. A simple "really good ass waxing" is in order at this point. Good luck. Also consider buying and installing a camera to monitor your door and driveway. Catch the fucker on film (with the time hack) and bring it to the authorities. Sometimes it pays to be smarter than the asshole, I mean perpetrator. :)

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The police come back they can tell my neighbour is a nutter. He's oriental by the way married with one child but they sleep separately and do not associate with anybody just stay in the house the whole time no friends etc at all. All the stuff is done when his wife is not there taking the kid to school or when she works. She had no idea any of this is going on hard to believe I know.

You're vietnamese (with the delightfully-ironic ID of "RAMBO"), and this guy's "oriental". Is he ethnic chinese or cambodian or whatever?

 

The german cops show up and see two "asians" going at it. What makes you think that they're on your side?

 

I'm most sympathetic to your plight, but how did the authorities separate out who's the "psycho" and who's not?

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definitely keep a diary of events, and buying a video camera is a good idea, you can record his anti-social behaviour. do you have a German friend who can accompany you to the police to accurately explain your version of events?

the guy is obviously enjoying getting a reaction from you, although it sounds like its difficult to ignore his behaviour.

perhaps the solution is to move house, dont see it as giving in and letting him win, rather you are rising above the situation and leaving him to it. he must be desperately unhappy.

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perhaps the solution is to move house, dont see it as giving in and letting him win, rather you are rising above the situation and leaving him to it. he must be desperately unhappy.

 

I agree. I mean just thinking of getting up so early just to ring your neighbor's door bell... It's not just you who is woken by this, he has to be awake to do it in the first place. I cannot imagine ever being so bothered by anyone that I would give up my night's sleep just to play stupid pranks on them.

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Sounds like you've got all the makings of a TV show. So why not go ahead and contact RTL with your story? They started a new series this year called "Nachbarschaftsstreit - Kolb greift ein". You've got nothing to lose, and might end up with free mediation from lawyer Ernst Andreas Kolb. They are actively looking for stories and are asking for people to contact them.

 

 

Haben Sie Stress mit den Nachbarn? Wir helfen Ihnen!

Melden Sie sich einfach kostenlos unter der Telefonnummer 0800/ 80 80 442 oder schreiben Sie uns eine E-Mail.

 

Schildern Sie uns kurz, was das Problem mit Ihren Nachbarn ist, was sich ändern soll und was Sie sich von der Mediation erhoffen. Vergessen Sie bitte nicht, Ihren Namen, Ihre Anschrift, Ihre Mail-Adresse und eine Nummer unter der Sie telefonisch zu erreichen sind, anzugeben.

 

Hier jetzt E-Mail schreiben: nachbarschaftsstreit@rtl.de

 

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This situation sounds unbearable. It also sounds like harrassment. Have you talked some more about this with the lawyer who initially sent the guy a letter? Perhaps he could help you with a more long-term solution? Can't you sue this guy for harrassment?

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A video camera pointing at our entrance to watch our comings and goings.

This part alone is highly illegal and against all the privacy laws. If the police won't help, then contact the city attorney's office directly.

(You never said where you live, so we can't provide the details for you)

 

As the others have mentioned, install your own cameras (Pointing at your doors and your doors/windows only), taking pictures, and keeping

a log of the actions will greatly help in your case. Eventually if it goes to court, they could find him to be an official "Nut job", and haul his

ass off to the funny farm.

 

In the mean time have a look at the previous posts dealing with the same thing.

 

Threatening behavior from a neighbor

Scuffle with neighbor, police seem biased

How to legally annoy your neighbor

My neighbor has a camera above their front door

Nighttime disturbances by an insane neighbor

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As the others have mentioned, installing your own cameras (Pointing at your doors and your doors/windows only), taking pictures, and keeping

a log of the actions will greatly help in your case. Eventually if it goes to court, they could find him to be an official "Nut job", and haul his

ass off to the funny farm.

 

But make sure you only have the camera film your own property. Just like it is illegal for your neighbor to film your property, it is illegal for you to film his.

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I doubt that any court can find the magic solution for you to enjoy peace and quiet. Sure, you can sue, but all the past incidents might not have much probative value for lack of accurate documentation and evidence. And what's up with the broken nose? So I'm not sure that you would get a court decision that will entirely satisfy you. Perhaps a professional mediation effort would bring about more useful results (= a normalisation of the interaction between you and the neighbour). Maybe your city offers this service?

 

Other than that, I agree with other posters that moving might be the best medium term solution and could spare your and your wife's nerves from further wrecking. You could rent your current house out and move into another place as tenants. You could benefit tax-wise, too.

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Unfortunately there is no magic bullet to get rid of such people. Unless you want to take up eurovol´s suggestion and ask some sturdy friends to have a quiet word with this guy one evening I suggest you contact your lawyer to get a cease and desist order.

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This part alone is highly illegal and against all the privacy laws. If the police won't help, then contact the city attorney's office directly.

 

Are you sure about that? Pointing a camera at your own door is illegal? Why are they selling these systems at Metro with night vision and everything then? If the nutcase comes back on to the property and is banging on the door all the time, you'll have full evidence on tape to bring to the district attorney for a case. You can then make arguments that he is a danger to you and your family and perhaps they can send him off for a few weeks in the psychiatric hospital for some some help.

 

I also wouldn't move. Sort the bastard out.

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Are you sure about that? Pointing a camera at your own door is illegal?

Try reading the post again.. In the list of "Things crazy Neighbor as done"..

 

 

A video camera pointing at our entrance to watch our comings and goings.

 

 

Why are they selling these systems at Metro with night vision and everything then?

There is nothing Illegal about having the a camera, however there are many laws concerning its use, setup, and areas monitored.

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What a horrible situation.

 

You say that you had to get a lawyer to sort out the incident when the police came, did the lawyer not give you any useful advice?

 

Bipa's idea of the RTL programme might be the perfect solution. In the meantime, since he keeps a diary of your comings and goings, why don't you keep a diary detailing his harrassment. Type it up and have it translated into German (do you have a helpful friend?) perhaps once a week. It is far more effective if you are able to say "On the night of xxxx he rang the doorbell/bashed the door seven times between 9pm and xxxxx. Also maybe if you have a video camera set up inside your house directed at the front door, that might show times and record what is happening. Though preferably not a recording of you biffing him on the nose. You could also use a digital camera to photograph him every time he comes to the door.

 

Do you still have the tickets of your holiday trip to Turkey? Useful to keep things like that as it then shows that he is not telling the truth, and that he is fantasising and harrassing you.

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You're vietnamese (with the delightfully-ironic ID of "RAMBO"), and this guy's "oriental"

That made me laugh a good guess indeed. I am English I made this account before we moved in or knew who the neighbour was I guess God is paying me back for making this account name.

 

 

But where did you hear that you could be sued by a new owner if you don't tell them about the crazy neighbor?

We went to the lawyer again ref the last incident as he added about 8 new dents in my door, my wife knew already but the lawyer confirmed it

theres alreay been a few pressedents set in germany wheres this has happened before.

 

 

Wow, can't you sue the ass that sold YOU the house? I think a one time good deal is to kick the living shit out of him (on your property of course) and take the punishment from the legal system. This way, he just might get the message and find some other poor bastards door bell to ring. A simple "really good ass waxing" is in order at this point. Good luck. Also consider buying and installing a camera to monitor your door and driveway. Catch the fucker on film (with the time hack) and bring it to the authorities. Sometimes it pays to be smarter than the asshole, I mean perpetrator.

The house was a new build, I would love to kick the shit out of him I usually go to bed dreaming of it, at the meeting we had with all the neighbours he already said I was very aggressive(wonder why) and that he wants me to beat him so he can sue.

With regards to the camera we already had this in mind the small spy camera which I would have to power via mains somehow as a battery last only 6 hours or so. Then what to store the information on etc. Or I go the whole hog and buy 2 visable cameras one of which would have a very small lense(to get a wider angle) in order to capture my door then drilling holes in my house for power/picture total cost at least 700 euro including a dvr system. To be honest I don't think it will stop him ringing my bell to inform us he supposedly heard a noise as he says its "his right"

Several years ago I had a decent job but ever since working a crap job I look at everything I buy in terms of how many days I have to work and spending just under a months wages which I earn really pains me. Then theres the thing of how its going to look if we do try and sell the house

and the answers to the questions they ask.

 

 

definitely keep a diary of events

The police already said we need to write it all down, whats happened in the past etc we only really started a few months ago as the the stuff was so childish we didn't want to waste energy on this idiot and did the ignoring thing as much as we could, but theres no evidence nobody ever sees. Even the lawyer said its going to be hard winning the case for the door as there were no witness(even though we were on the otherside of the door while he was doing it, I would have loved to open it but having already called the police figured it was best to wait for them).

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This is just one side of the story.

 

Rambo, is there a neutral person who is rationale that can sit down with the both of you to help mediate your situation so you both can resolve your differences or help you both set some ground rules on how you to will treat each others as neighbors? Do you think your neighbor would be amenable to this and would you?

 

Although you didn't express any culpability in your first post have you considered what could be motivating your neighbor's behavior or how you might be contributing to this ongoing problem?

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You have an incredible level of patience, I can assure you I would be in the clink already, you can try subtle hints of your distaste by driving an axe through the middle of his door then walking away. You can take it to the back yard and kick his ass, given your level of frustration I think you would be successful.

 

Although I think aggression meets aggression best. There was an excellent suggestion mentioned in the posts to install your own camera. If you plan on fighting this guy with evidence and cops I don't see why you haven't yet, I would be filming this guy like crazy then kick him out of his own home when you own it. You could also hire a private investigator, I worked as one for a bit and did lots of surveillance catching folks abusing the system or each other, couple of bucks and they will get him doing stuff to your home, etc ... then press charges, case solved.

 

So to recap ... either kick hiss ass or get him on film ... case solved.

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If it was me, I would have been writing everything down from the start. It really does sound like he wants to get beat up. If you go that way, follow a prior suggestion of paying some hoodlums to do it. No need to get in trouble yourself. Otherwise, you need a camera and/or you need to catch him doing things. Next time he is banging on your door in the middle of the night, if you are awake, open it. Then you can say for sure it was him. I am sure there is some law against banging on peoples doors and ringing their doorbells in the middle of the night. You can't even mow your lawn on Sundays here so there must be. Does his wife seem reasonable? Maybe you can try to talk to her and describe to her what is happening and find out why or if she can talk to him or something.

 

Going to RTL and asking to be on Nachbarschaftsstreit is a good idea too but if he's really that crazy, nothing but moving will really help. You say it was your dream house and you saved up the money and all that but how much of a dream house can it be if you and your wife are on the edge of a nervous breakdown? You have to think of your sanity too.

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