Were you bullied in school?

[keepingtime 3]

I was not bullied in school. I came from a big family and everyone knew each other. It did seem, as someone else mentioned, that bullying was done to a few. It pretty much did not occur in high school and it was also interesting that some who were bullied in elementary school and middle school were popular in high school.

[zemonkey 445]

When I first showed up in school in California I didn't speak the language and became the butt of a lot of jokes. Can't really say the jokes bothered me or being called beaner, spic, blue jeans, and other names - these kids were overall alright and not harsh. Six months later, the same kids had run a campaign to get me elected class pres, and I had learned the language - so that part turned out alright.

 

But one kid, a red-headed Simon, slow as molasses (and older, agressive kid that had lost a grade), had decided that I was to be his punching bag. It got so bad that I didn't want to go to school, so my mother intervened. Embarassment. And the picking did not stop, it just got moved after school. At that time, I used to ride my bike everywhere and had a newspaper delivery job. This bike was a piece of crap, the pedal or the chain would fall off or something else would break so I got used to carrying around some tools - a plier, some allen wrenches, a screwdriver and a ballpeen hammer. You can see where this is going.

 

In 4th grade, this school bully Simon decided that he was going to beat me up after school and a crowd had gather in front on the school. I got clobbered. Bloody streaming nose.

 

And then I freaked, got the damn hammer out and a screw driver and chased Simon all around the school, screaming and bleeding. Kids can be horrid. A couple of them decided to help out, caught Simon and presented him as if I was going to go at him with hammer and screwdriver. Luckily, I calmed down on seeing him like that and had some empathy but couldn't let it just go. As I poked him with the butt of my hammer, asking him if he really wanted it - two things happened - he peed himself and the principle came out. Game over. I don't think I would have caved his head in, but I might have taken a swing if an adult had not appeared. But after a long talk, explanations and an understanding that I had not brought those tools to school to fight with, everything was back to "normal". Except for two things - Simon stopped bullying most people - as the kids would call out "hammer" or "hammer-him". And I sort of became a bit of loner and stayed out of people's way.

 

Move forward a couple of years and I'm in High School - an advanced Freshman and the only one in my math class (mostly Juniors and Seniors) and the best student in the class - with a teacher that doesn't mind using this small fact to tease the older and slower students. Each and every time someone can't answer a question, I get asked to answer it. The teacher is an ex-Major League baseball pitcher and likes calling our attention by throwing something at us - chalk or an eraser being the most common. I'm terrified of this class, of either being zinged by a flying object or what the other students might do. Especially since Simon's older brother is in the class - a big, big guy.

Well, once after class, this guy asks me if I'm the guy that threatened his brother with a hammer. I answered yes and tried to explain what had happened - he cut me off and let me know that he knew it pretty well and also knew that I hadn't teased his brother afterwards. He then asked me if I would help him and another guy out with math homework. It somehow worked out. Soon after we moved to Guadalajara and I lost touch with most of those people.

[Guest]

 

Would love to meet the person who coined the phrase 'School years are the best years of your life'...

Agreed. Bull...fucking...shit

School was hell. Got bullied daily for 13 years. Was a long time ago thou. Doesn't bother me now.

Hmmm I do think thou that some kids brush it off, others take it to heart. I was the latter. Its funny thou, when I come across bullying in the workplace now it doesn't phase me at all - I either completely ignore it, or if its serious enough thats not an option I'll call the person right out on it. Usually a stern 'Excuse me' is enough I find - when they know you are not going to accept it they back down. Either way its sorted straight away.

[Guest]

 

I've been thinking about this all day. I was bullied in school by two boys in my class. I developed pretty early, but then stopped - so first they would pick on me for being the only girl in the class with boobs, and then for having small ones. Eventually, one of them was expelled when we were in the third year of high school, but the other kept on. It was rarely violent, but he'd spit at me whenever he thought no one was looking. He'd sit behind me in class and whisper about how he was going to rape me.

 

I'm only tiny, and the one time I hit him he hit back harder and I got in trouble for it. Hitting him stopped it for a while - maybe a couple of months - and then he got right back into it. He's a policeman now. Go figure.

Thats horrible. Sorry u had to go thru that

[LeonG 14,861]

I didn't really get bullied. There were a couple of incidents that I got roughed up a bit by some older kids. This was because I used to hang out with a girl who lived on my block who was bullied and her bullies decided to pick on me too but the couple of times it happened, I acted like I didn't care and they didn't find it much fun. I did however try to watch out for them, change my route to school etc. so I didn't run into them. It absolutely scared me because to this day, I still feel uneasy when I am walking somewhere and hear a group of loud kids coming towards me. I can't remember bullying anybody else ever. In my class there was once an incident where a boy was bullied but the teacher dealt with it right away and that was it.

 

This girl I knew, they used to chase her around, all of them. Call her names etc. Since she was older, we didn't get off at the same time so I don't think I ever saw them going after her but she'd tell me about it. She once managed to catch one of them alone and beat him up but the other ones just got her the next day. The kids finally stopped picking on her in the 7th or 8th grade but she also said she hated it when the bullies come up to her years later, want to shake her hand and act like nothing ever happened.

[PezMom3 2,101]

i was constantly teased for being skinny, tall, weird and shy from kindergarten to my senior year of high school. but people liked me enough (liked to copy my homework and tests rather) not to beat me up. i did have low self-esteem for a long time after i finished high school.

 

a lot of the guys and girls who teased me in high school found me on myspace, and they are speaking a different tune now. could care less though.

[mlovett 8,681]

I got bullied because I was the nerdy girl with the good grades who liked school, who was different because I had just moved back to CA from Spain... Until I decided to beat the scheit out of the "tough girl", rather than turn my back any longer (she started the fight). Principal was shocked, as were my parents. Got into a few more fights, won, and nobody messed with me after that. Also beat up a few neighborhood boys who were harassing my little sister (one guy threw a rock and cut her near the eye). My brothers then showed up at their doorsteps with their loaded rifles, and those boys never bothered our family again. I have been in some adult bar brawls, as well, but have lived a relatively peaceful life for the last few years.

 

btw: the rock thrower has spent most of his adult life in prison (I was his sister's buddy).

[Russet 100]

Even though I was the red-headed, left-handed, with would you believe pink coloured glasses I was never picked on or bullied all the way through school.

 

Do you think it could have something to do with the fact that I had nine older brothers?

[CincyInDE 3,312]

I was bullied from 2nd to 4th grade by a classmate. At some point in 4th grade I snapped and beat the tar out of him and that was that.

[tor 17,538]

For me it was more taunting and ridiclule and behind-my-snickering and chortles.

 

When I was but a wee old 16 your old 9th grader, albeit 6 feet tall and growing, my voice had not really changed and I still had the most glorious soprano voice. I was chosen to sing the solo at the Christmas concert (yes, we still called it a Christmas concert back then, dammit) and the song was One Voice, by Barry Manilow. I rocked it. But kids being kids, they chose to make fun of me. It hurt for a while. Not so much because they were making fun of me, but because they were making fun of my art. Eventully it stopped and I learned how to hide my despair; every once in while, some guy would walk past me and let out a warbling falsetto cry, reminiscent of the old ladies in my momma's church choir. it really stung.

 

there were other occaisons as well. I was not all that popular, had friends in all the various groups, but I was the easy target. I did get a nice compliment from one of the bigest bullies after singing "Just a Piece of Sky" at graduation. that helped a little.

 

 

[xiuh 22]

I was bullied, then my psychologist suggested I was bigger than my schoolmates so I should kick their assess. I throwed one of them through a window. That day I become a Bully, but I was not thaaat mean...

[Gwaptiva 7,116]

Probably repeating myself, but I was bullied badly almost from the day I walked into primary school. Smartass, dork, glasses, but tallest boy in class, and with no skills in reacting. I'd either cry, or fly into a rage (red mist descending) and flail (usually just hurting myself and greatly amusing those around me). At one point it became so bad I dragged a lead pipe into school each day to keep others away from me. And of course, that's when I learnt that if you stand up for yourself, you get punished. Nobody asked why I felt I needed the pipe, people (teachers, my folks) told me to ignore it and it would go away. But I couldn't and it didn't.

 

I was so happy that after primary school I was allowed to go to the non-denominational Gymnasium, as opposed to the majority of the rest that went to the RC one. But no luck, it really is me, I was bully feed/magnet. Long story short, I only discovered at 18 that the bullying had really stopped at 14.

 

I do wish I were stronger, or more relaxed, but frankly, it has fucked me up. At 45, those 8 and 9-year-olds are having a daily influence on my life: I have no self-esteem, have great trouble dealing with strangers, am afraid of being excluded that I don't even try to be included, first reaction is always that others will hate me, or will hate stuff I do. Of course, I should ignore what others say, or to those others that make me feel bad, but that would mean I would have to find my value inside myself, and... well, I don't see any. So I need an outside world to confirm my value, but I cannot connect to that outside world very well, because I feel that that outside world does not want me. Hello, Teufel, can you please take your Kreis back...

 

So, instead, I am in the office at 8pm after a 5:30am start, and that's not even that uncommon. Unless it's the weekend, when I don't bother driving into work to work.

 

Anyway, sorry for robbing you of time you'll never have back. move along now... and this message will probably disappear by the time I get home (unless the edit window expires, then I'll have to go beg a Mod.)

[john g. 37,776]

Jeez..just seen this!!! Tor and Gwaptiva: I´ve met both you guys on more than one occasion: you are both talented, intelligent, helpful (extremely), good looking, tall ( why not mention? , speak a bit of English and have absolutely NO reason to need to carry the burden of your childhood with you negatively...but you do..and I do on occasion...shame.

We are all mostly a bit f.... up. It´s part of life. Me too. Does paradise exist?

 

Especially Gwaptiva now: you have no reason to doubt yourself, baby. NONE. Did I already mention NONE? You are not the Dutch ( football ) team that lost in Iceland the other day!!! You´re better!

 

By the way, I wasn´t bullied at school but Howell nicked my apple tart when I was 11 and hungry and I told the teacher and Howell got smacked by the headmaster (6 of the best ) and we became best friends at age 26 when we met at University all those years later. Mind you, it started with " fucking hell, John Gunn?" on the first day over sherry drinks.

He died at Xmas last year ( I googled him )--life´s too short to bear grudges..live, babies , and feel free and alive. You too, Gwaptiva.

[Gwaptiva 7,116]

Thanks John. I get by. Wish I could see myself as others see me, rather than as I imagine they do (yes, the frustration is that I know, but cannot feel it to be true).

[katheliz 17,879]

After awhile it becomes prideful to think of yourself as incapable and inept if you don't work to change.

[bubli 270]

Hey, Gwaptiva, are you my male alter ego? It's as if I'd written parts of your post myself - I was skinny, nerdy, unattractive girl with glasses and tooth braces, doubly stigmatized, once for being a nerd, second time for being a nerdy girl - girls are into gossip, make-up, fashion and boy bands, not into math, technology and sports. Girls don't even try to achieve academically, because, as everyone knows, boys just hate smart girls.

 

In my case, it hardly ever got physical, it was more about evil gossip, snickering behind my back, ostrakism ("we are not your friends anymore, in fact, nobody is"), ridicule, 'funny' nicknames, damaging my belongings ... It used to be the worst before the sport class, in a locker room. I hated sports at school (I ended up playing volleyball at another school in town, where ~nobody knew me and had no clue I was bullied at "my" school).

 

I felt resentful because my parents knew about the bullying, yet decided to focus on garden work, maintaining spotlessly clean house and striving to be better than the Joneses instead. I felt even more resentful when my brother started elementary school, was bullied and all hell broke loose. Eh well, in my culture, daughters are just second-class children Teachers knew that I was being bullied too, but back in the day (end 80ties, beginning 90ties) bullying awareness was on the level zero (if not negative). Everyone pretended the issue simply doesn't exist.

 

I begged my parents to please please let me go to an elite boarding school and they eventually gave in when I was 15y old. That's how the bullying stopped - due to tough entrance exams almost every single one of the new classmates was what the Germans call "Streber", so I was no longer an outlier. However, much like in Gwaptiva's case, those evil 12y old girls still sometimes sit in the corner of my room and whisper: "You're ugly. You're weird. You're awkward. Everyone hates you. You like WHAT music? Geeez, you're so uncool." I have hardly any self-esteem and yes, I'm so afraid of being excluded/laughed at/labelled 'weird', that I don't even try to make myself included.

[chaos_amoeba 2,724]

Gwap and bubli, you guys are not alone. This is the story I don't tell...

[Frechesmaedl 16]

I was bullied too, but:

 

King James Bible

But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

[razorsandroses 431]

 

However, much like in Gwaptiva's case, those evil 12y old girls still sometimes sit in the corner of my room and whisper: "You're ugly. You're weird. You're awkward. Everyone hates you. You like WHAT music? Geeez, you're so uncool."

 

I really want to say to kids like that "What the fuck does that have to do with you? Okay, so she listens Polka music, wears glasses that covers half her face, and likes to walk around with an Abraham Lincoln stovepipe hat with a cane. What does it have to do with you?"

 

I dealt with the same crap--I remember a half sister whom I was visiting many hours away (and hadn't seen in years) gave me some pink ring as we were leaving and told me to think of her whenever I see it. I thought it was really touching and sweet of her, and even though it was a bit girly, I wore it anyway just for her.

 

I probably would have reconsidered wearing it to school had I known it would lead endless teasing and accusations of being gay, being tripped in the hallways, finding my pencils and school supplies in my locker broken, having "faggot" written on my school book, being spit on from a balcony, and being beaten up while walking home. Hell, I could be eating at a lone table in a corner of a cafeteria and not bothering anyone, and I'd have a group come sit at my table: "What's up, gay boy? Where's your boy lover? Oh wait, he died of AIDS, I forgot" and eating food off my tray and whatever.

 

And to think it all started out over a pink ring.

 

For anyone who is being bullied, or has children who are being bullied, I have only one word of advice: SET YOUR BOUNDARIES, STAND YOUR GROUND, FIGHT BACK. As long as you take that crap, bullies will see just how far they can go with you, and as long as you keep your mouth shut and keep walking--they'll come at you worse because they'll readily sense your fear and see you will tolerate anything. Stand up for yourself...because nobody else will. Fight back--If you lose, you lose...but I guarantee most of them won't bother you anymore when they see it's too much trouble.

[onemark 787]

I was picked on at school (maybe it was bullying - I don't know). But I never knew how to defend myself. I never told my parents because they either wouldn't have known how to help me or they would have told me "Sticks and stone wull break my bones but words can never hurt me." A lie if ever I heard one. Also, my brothers and I were brought up not to hit people. Big mistake.

 

And fuck the Bible - don't forgive those bastards. Ever.

Some of them go through life thinking they can do this shit to anyone they like and get away with it. They need to learn that this is not on - if necessary, the hard way.

 

Has anyone who bullied you at school every apologised? No? Thought not.