Were you bullied in school?

[interplanetjanet 177]

Nobody ever bullied me, because I'm a twin. For some reason, most people never really seemed to know how to react to twins, so they either didn't talk to us at all or loved us. Being a twin automatically gives you a certain kind of popularity.

[parnell 68]

NEver loved twins , always wanted to...

[Hazza 5,458]

I got bullied a lot at school.

 

I was (contrary to what I look like now) small and skinny. Add that to the fact that I was one of only a couple of foreign kids at the school and I was bound to be picked on.

 

It was pretty bad, until one day in year 8, when I finally flipped out before English class and attacked a kid who'd picked on me for years with a chair. Whilst it was a pretty crude action, he left me alone after that and it taught me to stand up for myself. From then on, I always fought back and the bullys chose new targets. Still had occasional problems, but it subsided over the next year or so. By year 10, the bullying had finished completely.

[mightypies 7]

bullied and the bully. changing schools certainly didn't help at a young age.

 

got teased for having glasses and braces at the start of high school, which wasn't too flash, but after the braces went and the contacts in, i was almost asked by the cooler kids to join the 'apple throwing at the new kids' group.

 

once you're in, tough to get out.

[Kat 59]

I guess I was bullied and a bully as well. I remember when we were little, there was a kid in the neighborhood that we would prance around yelling 'ya-ya! You're a dork!' and stuff because he could be counted on to flail his arms about and burst into tears. Poor kid. When busing started, the black kids regularly chased us white kids down the hall and pinched and slapped us. Later, I seemed to go in and out of popularity like some fad. I never knew when getting to school if I'd have any friends today or if they'd be calling me names.

...I'm not sure anything has changed that way, actually. I try to pick better friends nowadays though.

[brokenm 37]

One of my worst experiences that I remember is when I organised the, "Fight of the Midgets". Me and a few friends told these two really, really short kids that they wanted to fight each other. They both were saying that they would, "kick the other one's arse". We thought it was a joke, per say, and even made fliers and passed them around and hung them up at school. We told the two midgets that the winner would get a T-shirt saying, "Champion of Lilliput". The fateful day arrived and the two Zwerge walked out into that dusty sunset and faced each other. I was still laughing at the possible Alejandro Jaworsky style of the moment. there were around fifty other kids in a circle chanting, like in the Lord of the Flies, (but this time Piggy was quite short). The moment when the first fist landed, I stopped laughing. I saw blood come out and I realised that I was one of the persons responsible for having this child hurt (we were all 16/17). It took me and five of my friends to pull them apart and prevent everyone else from having it continue. I really felt bad for quite a long time. I did not think of how I reinforced each of them to become angry at the other, and the pressure or fear/error that may have made them fight each other.

 

Not a great memory.

[Inflatablewoman 34]

I used to stab someone with a compass and laugh when their trouser leg would turn red from the blood seeping through.

 

That said, I once had a pair of my trainers melted with acid and burnt with a bunsan burner, I had to walk home in just my socks. Ahhh the good old days, eh?

[ChemicalBurn 1]

@IW

You had access to acid and a bunsan burner in school?

We used to do that in school too, but everyone was in on it though. Our sort of bullying was basically not let the "other kids" play with us, and hog the basketball court and whatnot at recess.

[Kat 59]

@brokenm, I'm not sure that makes you a bully - more like a boxing promoter, but it's nice to see you had a conscience. ;)

[UrbanAngel 445]

@Hazza that reminded me of when I flipped out at a real bitch who was constantly having a go at me somehow, one time I had had enough and went up to her and dug my nails in really hard to her shoulders (and stormed off in tears). not proud to have resorted to phyiscal violence, but then i have never been very good at defending myself verbally so it's the only thing that came to mind. she taunted me afterwards still saying that i didnt hurt her, it was a crap attempt etc but i didnt care because it felt good to do it. then she got me in a load of trouble by showing my nailmarks to teachers and saying it really hurt etc so i got called in for discussions. she pretty much stopped having a go at me all the time though, although it's twisted i think she respected me a bit after that. it's a sad world when we have to hurt someone to get respect.

[profundo 42]

I changed school systems so many times that I got used to always being the new kid. High school was my 8th learning institution, for the record. I tried to always let the bullying roll off my back but I hated it for my older brother who always tried to stand up to them and got bullied even worse. Therefore my tactic was to pretend that it didn't bother me.

 

I wasn't the most bullied kid and it didn't really leave me damadged in any way (I hope). Most severly bullied kids I think tend to grow up to seek jobs where they have a little bit of authority and rule with an iron thumb- like a librarian or a postal worker or something.

 

My revenge on bullies, is not to look back. They were small minded kids from small towns who bullied for whatever reason they wanted to. I will grow up to be a successful person, and screw them if they ever try to bully me again.

 

/Won't stand for bullying now.

//It helps a bit that I am 6'4" and 260 when before I was the runt.

[Paul 10]

I was bullied from day one. I walked into school and a guy saw me, must have figured I was new and said "first day" with a big shit eating smile on his face. And I said yes and he punched me in the face, pushed me off my feet and then he was gone. I had just walked through the gate and been there about 5 minutes.

 

The next 5 years was pretty much the same.

 

I'm often asked why I didn't fight back. I tried it once. Fought back and won. Five minutes later his older brother turned up and beat the shit out of me. I kind of lost the taste for it after that.

 

My crime? I had a slightly posher accent than the others. I was crap at football. I liked and was good at English. Over the next five years I was tormented to the point where I tried to run away - came back because I didn't know where to go - and even thought about suicide. All the time I was simply too ashamed to tell my parents the truth. I couldn't bare the thought of them seeing me as weak, just as my class "mates" did.

 

Once "options" came up in year 3 it became a little easier. I managed to take classes that my class mates were not. It meant missing out on subjects I wanted to do, but for 2 years of only seeing them in Maths, English and registration, it was worth it. The tormenting never stopped, it just got a little less... Teachers seemed blind to it. When a pupil is covered in spit, his back dripping with green flem you have to realise -dont you? -that the pupil didn't do it himself? Don't you?

 

My form teacher left in year 4 and we ended up with a sucession of temporary replacments. Opening up to any of them was a non-starter.

 

I left school the first day I could and even left the area a few months later. I have never tried to conact anyone from my school and after a few years of trying to sort my own head out and then getting some profesional counciling for clincal depression I am... Okay with the past...

 

I have to be, I can hardly change it now can I?

 

Everynow and then, once in every ten years I meet one of my tormentors and they chat to me like we are old friends and I think about telling them what sort of a hell they created for me and how it affected not only my education but also my adult life. But what would be the point? Would they be sorry? I doubt it? Would that make me feel any better? No not at all.

 

There are somethings in life that you cannot seek closure on and this is mine. Today at 40 I still have poor social skills, I want people to like me from the word go and become insecure when they don't. If I try to achieve anything and I have trouble doing so I can almost hear their laughter, anticipating my failure.

 

I never bullied and I never saved anyone from being bullied. And to this day I am unable to understand the children who effecticly ruined a major part of my life or the teachers that failed to prevent it.

[Inflatablewoman 34]

 

@IW

You had access to acid and a bunsan burner in school?

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

It was in the middle of a class.

[Kat 59]

Paul, not that I'm not totally sympathetic to your past pain, but your post reminded me of that scene in 'Anger Management' where the therapist brings the guy to confront his old school bully - but the bully is now a buddist monk, and very very sorry... so they have to provoke him like hell to get him to fight. Too funny! You should see it. :lol:

[Hazza 5,458]

I went to my 10 year school reunion about 5 years ago and one of the guys who tormented me at school recognised me and came over to say hello...I looked at him and said:

"David, right?"

He said "Yeah"

"You used to pick on me at school"

--guilty look--

"Well I think we should go for a walk outside"

--look of fear--

"Don't start what you can't finish"

 

He was a fair bit smaller than me now, and genuinely scared. I just started laughing and told him I was joking...But I got a huge amount of satisfaction from turning the tables just once - even many years later.

[Paul 10]

I wish I had the guts to do the same. Trouble is, I think I would go hanibal lector on my school budies now.

 

To remove myself to comedy (where I live all the time)

 

They would get away with crucifixion... And it would be the best thing they could ever do for me.

[Hazza 5,458]

Well to be honest, I'd had a few drinks before that.

 

He actually apologised to me for what he did.

[ChemicalBurn 1]

Dont mean to sound like Im saying bullying is ok, but sometimes its simply really because "kids will be kids"

We all have people we dont like now, and for possibly good reasons. As children wearing glasses could be enough not to like someone, and kids can't really take into consideration the possible effects on the long run, or genuinly care when they hurt someone like that.

Just wanted to say that some of the people that were bullies as kids arent really bad people.

When we were kids, like I said, I didnt really bully anyone, but we had little school "gangs" where we used to pick on each other and start miniscule fights and stuff like that. Though some of those people I used to fight with as a kid eventually became really good friends. so... Hope you get my point and not get misunderstood.

[Guest]

I was an English 12/13/14 year old in a Welsh public school (Llandovery College). There were 4 other English kids in the same year and we were all bullied. One night, a group of kids cornered another one of the 'Sais' boys and threw darts into his legs. I got caught in the rugby changing showers (Footie was outlawed at school then - 1974-6) a few weeks later and a big group of Welsh kids grabbed me and broke 3 of my toes on my left foot with a pair of pliers. I still have problems from time to time in cold weather.

 

The whole mess culminated with my 'honourable' explusion. I waited hours behind the end of a wall for the ringleader (his name was Steven Jones). When he finally arived I smashed a brick into his face. He probably still has the scars today. I was taken to the Dean's apartment and broke down. He had a history of dealing with non-Welsh victims who had snapped.

 

Funny thing is though. I very, very rarely got into any violent confrontations at any school I was in. The other thing is, I don't begrudge the Welsh for what happened. Kids can be fuckin' awful things sometimes. I know, I used to be one.

[Paul 10]

I think we all have ways of dealing with the things we have done in the past. Justification is not a new fashion after all. I justified my silence, why shouldn't my bullies justify there actions. Kids will be kids. Yeah I suppose so. I suppose I was not a special case and around the world there were worse worlds to live in. I imagine not having enough water to drink would be far worse than a flem attack during assembly.

 

Kids will be kids.

 

I like the idea of the monk being really sorry.

 

The idea of my bullies standing in front of me and saying, hey it was just kids being kids is highly repulisve. They were who they are and as children they became adults. I have no reason to assume they changed their spots.