Were you bullied in school?

[Showem 868]

After seeing UrbanAngel's post about bullying in schools and the kids being driven to suicide, I'm curious as to what TTers have to say.

 

I was relentlessly teased when I was in grade 7 and picked on by a pack of girls in my class. I won't go into any more details, it was the typical thing kids do. I don't think I suffered any lasting damage, but it certainly made me be more of a loner than perhaps otherwise, and to this day, I prefer groups of men over groups of women for company. Still, it made be very independant and I developed a lot sharper wit. I wouldn't say it was a good thing and you certainly couldn't pay me to relive that time in my life, but good came out in the end.

 

Now, to be fair, I can also remember shunning the class pariah in grades 4-6 at the elementary school and although I don't remember calling him names, I probably did. Funny how my memories of being bullied are far clearer than the ones of me doing the bullying.

[Topsy 35]

shouldn't there be an option of "neither nor"?

[Showem 868]

Sorry, I see now that there should be an option of "I was neither bullied nor the bully at school". Perhaps a mod can add it if they are still reading?

 

Yeah, what Topsy said.

[Yeti 276]

I was bullied but not much, so I alternated between invisibility and extreme sarcasm which seemed a good tactic at the time.

 

From watching my own kids in kindergarten I know that kids, even at that age can be extremely vicious in their social interaction but it seems that they are also a lot more resilient than adults. The "best years of your life" saying rankles though.

[UrbanAngel 445]

hmm i think ppl have different perceptions of what bullying is.. not sure if i was properly 'bullied' in school but wouldnt know what to call it or how to explain it... so i abstain :)

[Blimeygirl 30]

Depends on how bullying is defined.

 

When I was 7 I was 'bullied' by this 'popular' girl in the class...she used to threaten that her brother (a year older) would beat me up. I truly believed he would. My mom worked late so I had to attend the after shool program...which they were both in as well...I was afraid most days for the entire day. She also chased me down the school yard with her pack of girls and held my arm behind my back until I apologized for disagreeing with her during a game we were all playing. She tried to stick my hand with a pencil but got caught by the teacher. I actually had nightmares and stuff and it took my mom going to the mother of the girl (who just said 'kids will be kids').

 

When I was about 12 I remember being mean to some of the more 'undesireables' in our class. Not proud of it...but it was definitely that whole 'pack' consensus. Wouldn't exactly call it 'bullying', no threat of physical violence or anything like that...just inane teasing. But I imagine it affected them adversely as well.

 

I would say that for me high school was a way better experience than public school...I never had many problems with people. There were different groups of people and if you found your group you were usually okay. I guess I was one of the lucky ones.

[interplanetjanet 177]

True story. There was a girl that I, for some unknown reason, associated with when I was in the 4th grade. Evil little girl. Anyhoo, there was this retarded kid who was on crutches for awhile. One day she was picking on him (not making fun of him for being retarded, just being your general snot), and she grabbed one of his crutches and pretended to be shooting at him with an automatic weapon. The guy *freaked out* and started crying and throwing a huge fit. I found out many years later that that kid had actually seen his parents shot to death.

[SleeplessInMunich 406]

I would choose that option that isnt there. I wasn't bullied, mainly because I was able to fight and did so at the slightest provocation. I earned a kind of respect, to be left alone that way. But I never bullied any other kids either. I didn't belong to "the gangs" in school, but stuck pretty much to myself.

[Katrina 4,522]

I remember Kza once saying on here that I was probably the school swot and that everyone hated me at school. Unfortunately he was right

I'm not sure if I would see the lot as damage though (although the hospital stays for concussion was good for the ice cream) as I've become older I turned what my life was like back then to my advantage (although the waves of Schadenfreude that I get when I read Friends Reunited is still greater than they should be). I am in contact with not one single person from my schooldays (apart from my sister who was 4 years above me) and that's by choice.

The school in the first article could have been my old school. It was my fault to stick out like a sore thumb according to my teachers, I should lose my Scottish accent in Essex, shouldn't answer the questions in class, shouldn't listen to that strange music, should get my teeth fixed, should stop hanging around only with the foreign teaching assistants, should support West Ham FC... anyway, I knew that things would improve one day and then it would be cool. But not all kids think like that. Nor should they.

[acquascutum 206]

does the abuse have to be over a period of time to be called bullying and does it have to be motiveless to be bullying?

this is a serious question.

[Katrina 4,522]

acqua, here's a BBC dossier but it is debateable.

[Showem 868]

Define a motive Acqua. Having an accent, being smart, wearing glasses, playing the wrong sport might be all motives to kids, but I think to most adults, those are pretty motiveless.

[Inflatablewoman 34]

I was bullied, and I was a bully.

[boomtown_rat 629]

 

Define a motive Acqua. Having an accent, being smart, wearing glasses, playing the wrong sport might be all motives to kids, but I think to most adults, those are pretty motiveless.

 

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Bullying amongst adults exists too, unfortunately and amazingly

[parnell 68]

Was bullied heavily in early secondary school (youngest kid...other side of town...was a little smaller then)

Bullied my little brother badly to my eternal shame

[Katrina 4,522]

Ask Topsy sometime about my old boss at her place when I worked there. How she treated her staff was quite an eyeopener.

Bully Online seems to have quite a lot of info but I haven't had a proper look yet but it does show the difference between bullying and mobbing.

IW, that's good of you to admit that because not many would.

[acquascutum 206]

 

Define a motive Acqua. Having an accent, being smart, wearing glasses, playing the wrong sport might be all motives to kids, but I think to most adults, those are pretty motiveless.

i think you've answered perfectly for me. the thought i had was was that kids fall out naturally and fight and name call (maybe the word squabbling could be used here.) i wanted to know at what point this becomes bullying.

[Bubble Gum 15]

I was bullied all through school up until 9th grade. It did change me a lot, it made me a real fighter in many ways. But you never ever forget it.

[Inflatablewoman 34]

 

IW, that's good of you to admit that because not many would.

 

 

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I also have a small penis. Anything else you would like to know?

[Katrina 4,522]

 

also have a small penis. Anything else you would like to know?

Well now you've said that, no, not really.