Experiences with dating German women

335 posts in this topic

 

I will confess to being a wee bit confused here. After second reading, I realise you are talking about shaving body hair. But what the hell do you mean by "Germs find it paedo too"?

 

Maybe an unlucky choice of words that you chose to abbreviate.

Ooh, sorry. Germans find it pedophile-like too," using the Brit spelling that I think had been used in the post from which I piggy-backed my comment. Oops--British. ;-)

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I guess I am even more confused, lol

 

You do know what paedophilia is? If you do, what the hell has that got to do with hair removal. Maybe you should be a wee bit more selective in your choice of words. I, for one, have no clue what you are on about.

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woah--your post, with all of the replies, hit me like a ton of bricks. I am dating a german guy, and it's basically the exact same thing. Everything has to be perfect and there's little room for humor, enjoying life, letting go... The upshots of dating a German, from my experience, are that once you are 'in' with them, they are extraordinarily trustworthy, reliable, and honest about every little thing, even when it hurts. In that sense, it can be a high-quality relationship. But it is ALOT of time and energy, and every little thing must be taken very seriously. Nothing can ever just be laughed off or forgiven, or taken light heartedly in a relaxed way. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy, and despite the many good qualities my german brings into my life, it can also be emotionally and energetically draining. If he lends me even 2 euro I MUST pay him back, I'm told how to shower, (apparently if you want to be healthy, you must douse yourself in cold water for at least a minute before it's over), and will blow off time with friends or social gatherings if there are dishes in the sink. They have to be done NOW, not in three hours from now. Always. If I look nice, I won't get a compliment, but if I am wearing something that isn't a favorite, I will be told "I don't like that."

 

By American standards, this would be considered an 'abusive relationship.' ... It depends on your personality, what you are looking for, your own level of humor and sensitivity and openness... You're held accountable for every last flaw that you have, every weakness. This can be good, if you're into glutton for punishment personal growth. :-) What I've come to realize, is that you can't take it personally. It's just a cultural thing. If you're a free spirit, light hearted person you could really be challenged. (Which is why I'm getting out of my relationship. anyway. wow. way too much info.) good luck!

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You do know what paedophilia is? If you do, what the hell has that got to do with hair removal. Maybe you should be a wee bit more selective in your choice of words. I, for one, have no clue what you are on about.

What she's basically saying is that (and this is not my opinion, it's funf's) Germans think that removing body hair makes women look like little girls, hence the "paedo" reference.

 

I believe though, that funf is basing her statement on her internet boyfriend's opinion since Intimrasur as they call it here, is VERY popular in Germany at the moment.

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I guess I am even more confused, lol

 

You do know what paedophilia is? If you do, what the hell has that got to do with hair removal. Maybe you should be a wee bit more selective in your choice of words. I, for one, have no clue what you are on about.

Wow, Orla, I always confuse you. Little girls have no hair on their lips. If you remove the hair on your lips, you look like a little girl. Someone getting aroused from naked lips might like the little girl aspect of it all. Alles klar? (Then again, they may just like not getting hair in their teeth [which can be resolved by trimming] or just the "it's all on a plate" aspect of it all. Still, like not all men look good bald, neither do all lips.)

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What she's basically saying is that (and this is not my opinion, it's funf's) Germans think that removing body hair makes women look like little girls, hence the "paedo" reference.

 

I believe though, that funf is basing her statement on her internet boyfriend's opinion since Intimrasur as they call it here, is VERY popular in Germany at the moment.

Not all Germans, of course, but a couple of German women I know also don't do the shaving bit. In Germany, it's probably similar to the U.S. where the under 25s and maybe the under 30s have always gone for the baldie look. All I meant to say was that it was cool that my age cohort seemed to share my level of comfort and indeed, arousal, with body hair.

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"If he lends me even 2 euro I MUST pay him back,"

 

One of my pet hates... really, knarks me off something rotten.

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I had a 3 yr relationship with a German girl, and there were definitely some of the traits that have been mentioned here, even if she was a sweet girl, overall. What started really getting on my nerves was the double standard: she could have her shoes lying around outside the front door, but not me, she could be late, but if I was late, all hell broke loose. Finally with someone that is challenging, but very warm and caring, and NOT German!

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Well i met one in Nz and was impressed by her honesty and commitment...miles ahead of anyone I have met here, we just got married and I guess we are doing great. Yes, cultural differences so crop up evey now and then but I look at them as spice of our relaionship, nothing that cannot be managed if we both are able to forget and forgive

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existentialangst

 

When I read originally read "how to shower" I got to thinking that never happened me, must be a odd OCD person thing. Then I thought of the time the my German Ex-said the very same thing "a blast of cold" what at the end is healthy even totally cold showers would be a good idea.

 

Really I have sworn off German women the "dishes must be done now" thing over "lets go out" really pisses me off. Also if yo get to know enough of them and you begin to learn that they have many the same opinions and same things to say across the board.

 

I just want to get back among the company of women who are women.

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i´m new to berlin and havent dated one yet but i´m curious now!! the obvious solution to girls that pernickety would be to joke about every small problem they mention though, right?

Umm, in my experience no, this would be a bad idea.

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Well, the thing is: this is Germany"! You can't date a German woman and expect her to be like an English/American/Australian/Neuzealandian one. She will never be and she can't. She grew up with a totally different cultural background, clothing style and values. If she has spent some time abroad and has good intercultural skills then she will have some experiences with the Anglo-American mentality and will know what is coming her way and will be able to deal with it.

As far as feminity is concerned: we have it - it is just harder for an Anglo guy to relate to it because he isn't used to it.

Sharing bills: Three years ago I briefly dated a British guy. It was summer and we went to a beergarden. As the place was really packed I suggested to split up and asked him to go to the drinks counter for beers while I went over to the food counter. He asked me twice (!) if it was okay for me to pay for the food. Right, we are talking about two bratwurst und two beers. That was roughly 5,- EUROS for him and 5,- for me. He gave me a really puzzled look and I needed a while to get it: he was confused because he thought a woman in general expected him to pay everything and all the time. It was a part of his role and he was confused because I didn't play by his rules.

I know some intercultural couples, Anglo-German, American-German, Dutch-German, American-Belgium who work out quite well. And I could give you a lot of examples where it didn't work out at all. Well, an intercultural relationship is much more challenging and requires a lot of open-mindedness to make it work. To reject somebody just because of their nationality is so much easier than to admit that one simply hasn't got the skills to adapt to somebody who has a different mentality.

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I had a German girlfriend for 4 years; the relationship was never sizzling with passion, and I get the impression that most German women don't know how to make themselves sexy. On the whole they are very attractive, healthy, slim etc, but not very comfortable with their femininity.

I agree with this completely. This has happened to me on more than one occasion.

 

 

I have found they generally complain too much about trivial things. While what is trivial and what is not is going to be a subjective thing, I think German women - or indeed Germans generally - are unusually "pingelig" compared to other cultures.

 

Closely linked with too much complaining is a conviction that they are ALWAYS right and a proclivity to pass judgment based on gut instinct without having looked at the facts. This makes for some truly strange conflicts that I haven't had dating girls from other countries, and in my view it can burden the relationship with an excessive level of complexity.

Same here. It's like if they start flipping out, you're expected to take part. The thing I like about Britishness is that if somebody gets emotional, it's seen as their fault, in which case more often than not, a person will not try to involve you in their hissy fit. I MISS THAT.

 

 

German women are mad? Where did you get that from??

If a relationship works out or not depends on the interpersonal skills of the two individuals but not on national stereotpyes.

Then why do you go on in the next post to make stereotypes if they're so bad/wrong?

 

 

Actually there is a lot of truth in your opinion about Germans complaining all the time. We are!! We are totally into it!! But there are a lot of people who are a lot more laid back.

 

Well, the thing is: this is Germany"! You can't date a German woman and expect her to be like an English/American/Australian/Neuzealandian one.

That's what this forum is about - we're saying generally, german women are crap. of course you find fantastic ones, but that's true of anywhere.

 

 

As far as feminity is concerned: we have it - it is just harder for an Anglo guy to relate to it because he isn't used to it.

Why should I need a translater for a universal concept such as femininity?

 

 

Well, an intercultural relationship is much more challenging and requires a lot of open-mindedness to make it work.

This is the one useful thing that Charlotte has said and I completely agree.

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For what I've seen and been told, German women luv black men. Still don't know what this is all about.

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*scratches head* Let me think, could it be?

 

1. Their profound intellectual capacities?

2. Their strong sense of family values?

3. Their cultural awareness and interest in the fine arts?

 

Did I nail it?

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For what I've seen and been told, German women luv black men. Still don't know what this is all about.

Why do you care if they do or don't? Just because you don't personally find black men attractive? You make generalizations about them in a way that make you sound racist or in the very least unlikeable. Not every black person fits the television stereotype you are perpetuating.

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Maybe they like black men (and I don't know if in general they do) because there aren't many black men in Germany compared to other countries as Germany hasn't got the strong colonial past of France/UK. There are hardly any black people in Berlin anyway. The novelty factor can be important-I was on a work trip to Japan a good few years ago and there were 6 of us lads. One lad would have been considered "the runt of the litter" back home but his weedy constitution didn't put the japanese girls off-they really digged his red hair, proper ginger, fair fucks to him he enjoyed that country more than any of us!

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