Germany - high maintenance girls and wussy boys

125 posts in this topic

 

High maintenance US style - money

 

High maintenance DE style - everything from the toilet to lovers

 

I know a hot Finnish chic who absolutely loathes typical German chics for being pushy. I like ladies who like men and have little time for the other crows.

I obviously have no clue as to what you guys are going on about, or these posts would make sense, right?

 

What's going on here? Lovers? They take control in the bedroom, they just want to control their lovers, or they want more lovers? Serious question. I'm not so interested in Toilet, but maybe that's interesting, too.

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Very fine line between "wussy" and "passive aggressive" often too. Can take time to spot it though.

 

Well, I 'd prefer "less of a cocky prick", but carry on you might have a point.

Hm. This was going someplace interesting, I think. So, what's the relation between wussiness and passive aggressive and/or cocky prick? So wussy they get passive aggresssive and/or think the world owes them something? Or???

 

What percentage of German guys do you think this covers?

 

Ta.

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I find that German men are a bit more thoughtful. Whenever my German boyfriend's male friends visit us, they bring snacks and little gifts, and if they are staying over, they bring breakfast. Perhaps this is just my experience. Probably, since I'd be lucky if my boyfriend even brought a bag of flour home at the end of the day, but then again, he's not a typical kind of guy... My experience of women here is that they just really hate other women and like to steal each other's boyfriends. I think I'll stick to hanging out with blokes to be honest unless some lovely girls wish to prove me wrong.

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Well, in my limited experience, there seem to be a lot more single women in their 40s in Germany than in the U.S. Lots of single women = more boyfriend stealers?

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Not sure about high maintenance but many of the girls here think they're some sort of supermodel and flounce around the streets in their H&M rags like they're something special with an ice maiden scowl on like they saw on a catwalk on TV. Not attractive at all.

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Well, in my limited experience, there seem to be a lot more single women in their 40s in Germany than in the U.S. Lots of single women = more boyfriend stealers?

It *is* probably your limited experience - as in it's the company you keep. Try more male environments - any gym, local football match - or even just any cafe and you see loads and loads of single men - often frequenting a lot of these places because they don't have jobs.

 

I know loads of single German women and - trust me - most ain't after someone else's boyfriend.

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I generally agree with the OP. German girls by and large are a real pain in the ass. I often couldn't get past the 3 month mark with any of them, before they just got to annoying and I broke up with them. I had nearly given up completely, then I met my current g/f and now I've never been happier.

 

So generally they're crap but there are always exceptions to the rule.

 

German dudes are often wussies. "Eierlose Arschloescher" to put it more succinctly...

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This "thoughtfulness" of German men that CarlaG cited is actually a social rule rather than any personal thoughtfulness. You wouldn´t believe the repercussions when I visited my German dad and his wife without bringing her a bouquet of flowers...(how the hell was I supposed to know?)

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Huh? My experience is totally different - found a really nice Northern German girl & we are coming up to 20th anniversiary in November...

I´m with you on this one HEM, me and my nice southern german girl have been together twelve years now.

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Goodbye Bluesky:

 

 

And funny to me is that, I have never met a woman Professor in all Univesities I have been to, have seen very very few women in complicated jobs in the high tech companies or the research institutes that I worked...I think this is not the case in many other EU countries...So, they are in general going for the easier, smaller jobs, having fun all along..and still seem to demand high price tags
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Hi DandL,

 

Sorry for this mis-understanding. When I said I have never seen a Professor in University, or very few women in high tech companies, I meant "In Germany". If you read my lines, I actually meant that I have seen more % women in other EU countries in complicated jobs, than in Germany. I was in Sophia Antipolis some days back in one of our R&D centers, have seen quite many French girls working as engineers. How many do you find in Germany? The names you said, I offcourse know some of them (you forgot the ex HP CEO, what is her name again ?). But I think most of them are from USA , or are internatonal names, isnt it? I am at least sure about "PepsiCo: Indra Nooyi - She is Americal Indian, I am sure on that. And offcourse, there are always many many exceptions. My question was simply this , i was wondering what is the reason of this apparently very high price tag for German girls. Any info on this is very wellcome...And believe me, I would be very very happy if you can prove me wrong. I think I can give one reason for high price tag for local girls in Dresden - after re-unification, many of the young generation went to the west. And apparently more girls than boys did the migration and there are probably fewer girls than boys in the east. May be the chics here knows that info.. But what about the girls from other parts?

 

You are right on one thing though, I have been working only 5 years till now...So I will definitely see lot more in future...

 

...meaning of "High maintenance" is really difficult to explain. I tried in my own words before. Now I will like to add some more words on top of what ""horseshoe7" wrote as "Pain in the ass". Do you remember one line from Terry Hatcher in Desperate Houswifes , where she said to her daughter "Honey, I am crazy in a good, funny way. And she (dont remember who she was talking about) is crazy in a bad way ". Dont you agree that a crazy girl like Terry would be in general liked by all? This is true that Girls dont make sense, and it is to me sometimes a fun thing - as long as it is fun and within limits. Well, I found some of the German girls to be generally "not making sense" in a irritating, pushy way...

 

to funf

 

"High maintenance US style - money. High maintenance DE style - everything from the toilet to lovers"

 

I think what he wanted to mean is that a girl here likes controlling everything in life , even how the toilet should look like , or? I had this experience when I was living in a WG, with 1 German boy and 1 German girl . And I remeber how much she was trying to control on the WG, everything inside how things should work. obviusly we both left it after some months. I still remember her very good looking, Phd student BF, always following her like a pet cat...

 

Those who have found nice girls here, Congrats. There are obviuosly many couple here who are together for many many years. Obviuosly there are many nice girls here, hopefully some of us will find some of those nice ones someday...But offcourse my question was on the general trend...

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(you forgot the ex HP CEO, what is her name again)

I think it's Carly, right. Wasn't she also in the running to be Wacky John's sidekick?

 

Although she got the boot, I was impressed by the lass. Tough situation, though, although partly her own doing.

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The question of control-freak wives (ex-wives I might add, two of them in fact) and girlfriends is one I have asked in great depth.

 

When marriage No 2 broke up I rather fell to pieces and decided to get professional help to put myself back together. I began in wuss mode. "It's all my fault, I should have done this, should have said that, gna, gna, gna..."

 

Big smile from the therapist.

 

"OK, before we do anything, I'd like you to get a bit more perspective on this. Remember, it ALWAYS takes two to tango."

 

A while later I returned.

 

"Yup, I got absolutely emotionally battered."

 

"Fine", says the therapist, "Now another question for you to ponder...ask yourself: 'Why do I stay in dangerous situations for too long?'"

 

That one took a while longer to answer. It meant re-visiting and analyzing experiences in the good old Family of Origin who were...control-freaks! Aha! Not only that, but they held the view that to make me a "better person", they should continually criticise and abuse, pointing out long lists of faults and failings. So, I take that shitty emotional legacy into the world and...get creamed by control-freaks, in relationships, in work, in self-image...

 

Hence the therapeutic answer to the question about meeting controlling women might be another question:

 

"What is it about me that attracts control-freaks?"

 

Happily, things do get better, but I find I still need to be somewhat vigilant about not slipping into "old programmes".

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There's always this as a take on things (apologies if you've seen it before, it's been around for ages...

 

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

 

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

 

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

 

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

 

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

 

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

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Being an au pair in 2 families I have noticed similar behaviour. The first is that the males are the "bread winners"... lotsa stay @ home mums here, the second is that the women nag, call the shots, and generally control everything. Then the men, do it! serve their wives coffee in the weekends, buy her flowers etc. at first I found this suburbian thing quite nice, but then the women get really mad when they dont get their way. The men, not satisfied with their lives and having too answer always to their mothers and wives and daughters, seek an outlet for the contempt they feel. this I noticed to be me, the au pair. If Im not doing something right, then its the end of the world! not because its a biggie, but because they need to have an outlet for their resentment.

I have also noticed form my generation and the younger generation of men here (mostly the turks and and africans- and no im not racist) a total disrespect for women. anything from a quick grab, to "hey baby's" etc. I once had a turkish man lean over and peer down my top on a subway!! the young german boys can also be quite disrespectful, in terms of pushing etc on a subway. Perhaps this is the different cultures or young german boys getting angry at seeing their fathers down trodden.

I also dated a german boy, and he was lovely, but then a friend brought me a beer and he got mad, possessive, jealous... so I dumped him. I dont need that shit, so maybe thats what he wimpy boys turn into...

My one German friend, treats her BF as a door mat too, and he seems to like it.

when I was first here, I was soooo easy going. now Im pushy, having to deal with shit from men when I go out, have been treated like crap from my host family because of high maintenence women and down trodden men, and would probably never date another german man again.

Im not saying that men should be overly masculine, but I dont like it when they do all the work in a relationship and are slaves to their house wives. its not normal... im staring to think, maybe a good ole rugby head kiwi bloke is what I want agin... :S

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to funf

 

"High maintenance US style - money. High maintenance DE style - everything from the toilet to lovers"

 

I think what he wanted to mean is that a girl here likes controlling everything in life , even how the toilet should look like , or? I had this experience when I was living in a WG, with 1 German boy and 1 German girl . And I remeber how much she was trying to control on the WG, everything inside how things should work. obviusly we both left it after some months. I still remember her very good looking, Phd student BF, always following her like a pet cat...

 

Those who have found nice girls here, Congrats. There are obviuosly many couple here who are together for many many years. Obviuosly there are many nice girls here, hopefully some of us will find some of those nice ones someday...But offcourse my question was on the general trend...

That's more or less it - but the bit about lovers I meant - a lot of German women seriously hate men and had a ton of affairs... I left my ex and suggested that she consider trying a chic. Even funnier than all that was whenever they fucked around on their men it was "because there was something wrong in the relationship or else it wouldn't have happened" but if the shoe was on the other foot (very very rare) the guy was basically was branded a Nazi paedophile...

 

I love Germany , tis a great place , I have a few German dood friends who stand up for themselves - my guess is that men here are taught to suppress their feelings - male kids are not allowed to horse around like other kids - even ice hockey is ridiculously sanitised - one of my Irish friends complains bitterly at how suppressed he considers German kids.

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- my guess is that men here are taught to suppress their feelings - male kids are not allowed to horse around like other kids - even ice hockey is ridiculously sanitised - one of my Irish friends complains bitterly at how suppressed he considers German kids.

This is what I see. The German parents freak out when my 4 year old tries to "horse around" with their kids, you know, like normal boys do. The latest incident at the park... over nothing, but I stepped in and told my son to leave the girl alone. Well, it was a BOY. He was in a pink shirt, and long hair. How the hell was I supposed to know that was a boy?? :lol: Oh man... in America, you do NOT dress your boy in a pink shirt!!

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NickyNZ you are wise beyond your years. I sincerely hope you find an occupation in life more challenging for your very astute mind.

Maybe you can find one of these wussie boys and milk him rotten – but some how I think this would be beneath you.

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This is what I see. The German parents freak out when my 4 year old tries to "horse around" with their kids, you know, like normal boys do. The latest incident at the park... over nothing, but I stepped in and told my son to leave the girl alone. Well, it was a BOY. He was in a pink shirt, and long hair. How the hell was I supposed to know that was a boy?? Oh man... in America, you do NOT dress your boy in a pink shirt!!

Sorry, but this makes no sense at all. So boys have to wear "manly" colours and get a short haircut (military style) in order to not be trodden over later in their life by all those controlling females?

 

BTW, it is hard to translate "high maintenance" into German (maybe "anspruchsvoll"). Now what does that tell us? That it is not an issue, or that German men are so wussy they don't even realise how "hight maintenance" women are? :unsure:

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