Worst jokes ever

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The tallest Muslim in the UK lives in Scotland, his name is ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Mind Jaheed.

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"Passsd a threshold of 100 Tory MPs" is my new euphemism for a large and unpleasant dump.

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18 hours ago, hooperski said:

"Passsd a threshold of 100 Tory MPs" is my new euphemism for a large and unpleasant dump.

 

Also known as "Purging the Cabinet"

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I've been a flasher for most of my adult life, and thought it was time that I stopped ... ... ... ... ... ... but then I thought I'd stick it out for a couple more years.

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2 hours ago, yesterday said:

Surly not in the winter time, in Germany its cold, just think about the frost bite from those bits that stick out  ooouch

 

Thats; why you don't see the "ladies of the night" on the streets at that time of year. 

When it's cold, their business tends to drops off.

When it's very cold, it might even snap off.

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Boss, "So, what would make you more productive?"

Staff, "Bonus".

Boss, "I'm not going to bone you ...".

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Julie Andrews turned on the Christmas Lights in our town last night, unforunately, she was suffering with a chesty cough.

Throughout the ceremony, all you could hear was ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...  the sound of mucus.

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What did the Pink Panther say when he walked over a formicary ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.

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WORLD CUP NEWS. An early bath for the Germans ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... which is Bad.

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1 hour ago, hooperski said:

WORLD CUP NEWS. An early bath for the Germans ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... which is Bad.

" and they think it's all over..."😂

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Whar color does rhe face of a Snurf if someone is choking him?

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I heard a rumour that the next big thing was deep fried Pineapple rings, so I invested heavily, and lost ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... frittered my money away.

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(On a birthday cake)

1st candle,  "Got any plans for later?"

2nd candle, "I might go out".

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One time on holiday, my wife and I met a lovely couple so swapped addresses ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... now we get all of their post.

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