Experiences with Internet dating

5 posts in this topic

I do my fair share of dating and meet most of my dates via the Internet. I am an American, so this is not some scary, strange or unusual thing for me. But I do get some real gem replies from time to time which I love sharing with friends for a good laugh. Today's was the best, so I am sharing the joy. Moderators, you are welcome to move this to the Adult Chat if this is too much for Life in Berlin.

 

YOUNG STUD, hopeful: hey there...ive always wanted an african american woman...in bed. would you wanna? yours, felix - 17. im ok with cultural subjects...lets have a talk in bed...hee hee. felix

 

ME, sarcastic: Hm. I have been curious about whether I could have fun with someone really young but horny. So maybe. Wow. Cool. You have to be really well-endowed though. At least 22cm. So please send a picture of your face and your penis, please. And, would you mind sending a scan of your passport? I really want to be sure of who I am dealing with. There are just sooooo many assholes out there and I want to be sure you are not one of them. And don't forget your phone number! Thanks

 

YOUNG STUD, clueless: listen, im ok with givin you some verification but how can i be sure about all of this? im the one whos got parents that should better not know abou this ...; ) cant we just meet somewhere and find out if we fit together, which im sure we will? i am 17, you can have my id and everythin when we meet, but im not sendin anythin via internet, im way too sceptical to do that. anyhow, its great that youre open to people young n horny, and neither my penis nor my face will be a dissapointment, i can promise that... what do you say?

 

ME, faux indignant: Let me get this straight: you want me to trust you with my body and you won't even trust me with ID? Are you crazy??? Young men these days. The nerve!

 

YOUNG STUD, unreal: well, dont i trust you with my body vice versa? cryin out loud...gimme your no., ill call you, if you really wanna fuck a young boy. its gonna be real fun, i tellya. n why would i lie about my age?

 

Folks, if it weren't so much in line with the other replies I have received, I would think this really was a joke. But I would have to forget Mr Knackig Po, Mr Po Eater, and Mr Looking for the One Who "gonna be making my kids"... Lordy!

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Your problem, TLC, is that you are simply too picky.

Take a leaf out of Muslim-match's book and be happy with someone who's intelligence level is "read and write".

 

ps. Knackig-Po???

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Trust me when I say that "read and write" is a high standard. My gem of the other day:

 

 

Hi ich bins J**** , 27 jahre alt. Mein Englisch nicht überragend, aber wir können ja eien Kompromiss schliessen, ich lerne englich von dir und dudeutsch von mir. Wenn es deien erwartungen entspricht melde dich doc heinfach

I removed his name. The rest is as I got it. No lie.

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Maybe you could teach him German too, while you're at it.

 

edit-- by "at it" I mean teaching him English.

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