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About cybil

Profile Information

  • Location NRW
  • Nationality American
  • Gender Female
  • Year of birth
  • Interests Photography, historical fiction, creative writing, cats

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  1. Why are you unhappy today?

    I want to thank you all for taking the time to send such kind words and support. It feels like longer than ten days since Mom entered hospice.   My father chose not to set up Skype at the hospice while Mom was still able to at times speak. A few days ago he packed up, having decided Mom was 'gone' because he just couldn't see her with the death rattle breathing. He stayed away a few days and even when the pastor called to say Mom seems close to passing, he at first said he didn't want to see her and hung up on them. This news really distressed me. He is so close and can touch her, and then I am so far and can't. But it was all too much for him, so I have to accept his choice. I told him I believe Mom is still there as long as her body is alive. Later that day he changed his mind and did go and hold her hand a while. Thank goodness! I hope he goes back again.    It took me a long time to get ittogether and just figure out using Skype-to-Phone would do and I was finally able to call and talk to my mom at the hospice last night. The nurse held the phone by her ear. I had written what I wanted to tell her, like a script, in case I lost it and cried but I managed ok. I heard Mom breathing, and a tiny sort of rasp like you hear when someone has bronchitis. When I was finished talking, the nurse was very bright on the other end and said 'She responded! She took some deep breaths! That's great!' Which, for me was a great relief. I didn't want her to go without knowing I had been aware of where she was and that she was dying.   As I type I don't know if Mom is still on Earth or has passed over to...wherever we go. When I'm in the house on my own, I sing a few quiet songs sometimes that remind me of my childhood with her, stuff from musicals that I downloaded a few days ago as a playlist titled 'Mom' and play whenever I like. That's a bit 'Gaurdians of the Galaxy' isn't it? A mix of cheery and romantic tunes with swelling notes and catchy lyrics.       
  2. Why are you unhappy today?

    Today my father wrote that he took my mother to hospice. Only yesterday, after a trip to the ER did they get the news that Mom has three brain tumors and multiple other large tumors throughout her body. They gave her a week to three months to live. This after her four years with contained sepsis in her right knee that started with a routine knee replacement surgery. A month ago the orthopedic dr. said it was time for Mom to have her left hip replaced but she'd have to have that sepsis knee and leg below it amputated first so the sepsis couldn't get into the new hip area.   My family, scattered across America and no sibs near my parents, me over here in DE, all thought her rapid cognitive decline in the month after that news was depression, wondered about her strange memory issues, thought maybe it was dementia creeping in at 78, then Dad wrote about needing to buy Mom diapers, after some years of them both getting up in the night up to six times to get Mom's swollen leg fluid all peed out on a proper toilet.   Today I went to work an hour after reading the hospice bit, totally messed up the cash register, blabbered to co-workers and guests, and the tears just kept on flowing. Managed to drive to/from work ok. Not managing to sleep tonight. Won't be managing a flight to see Mom now or help Dad out when she's gone any time soon. Glad for Skype and hope it works at the hospice so I can see my Mom one last time at the very least. Overwhelmed but also glad she'll soon have no more fear about an amputation to deal with and no more massive lack of sleep (Dad as well). Sorry already  for my Dad who will be on his own in that house at 81. She was his entire world. 
  3. Why are you happy today?

    Sounds like it's time for that Peaches & Herb song Reunited!
  4. What are you listening to right now?

    The Alarm 'Everything Under Control':  My inner punk is coming out now...time to pogo!
  5. Tesla Gigafactories, News and Conversation

    Not about Tesla but E-autos in general and that 6000 Euro premium.    My husband was set to buy a new VW Up! as with that premium it was in financial reach. He called around to see what some dealers could offer pricewise and delivery times as well.    One dealer in NRW would only sell the car if my man paid 6000 Euros down and had the car signed over to the dealership's name (as 1st owner). Nope.    Another offered to get him the VW 'within nine months.'    Another offered 'starting at 12 months, maybe a bit longer' and said it's a 50/50 chance that you are still waiting for the car when the preium expires end of 2021.    Then he looked in some online forums and saw other people mentioning they'd had extended waiting time for delivery.   Unless the preium offer is extended beyond end of 2021 you may have to pay full price because your delivery time went over the end of 2021?    Anyone know anything about this?