rodisi

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure." The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulae. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says.... "You have exactly 1586 sheep." "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?" "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business... Now give me back my dog."

How about the little cartons of drink for children? They come with a plastic straw attached that is in a plastic container.

The battery in my Braun Oral B electric toothbrush is dying. I looked up how to change it. Well, it requires an MIT engineer with a lot of experience to change it.  Basically, the whole thing has to be dismantled completely and what's even worse is the fact that the bastards soldered it in the device. When I find the time, I think a letter to their managing director will be in order.

Investigation finds ‘88% of Tory ads misleading compared to 0% for Labour

I lost the photograph so you'll have to imagine this - a round, reddish cucumber about 7 cm diameter.  My wife had planted cucumbers very close to tomatoes and that was the result.  I can't understand it and nobody believes me.

Sorry dpatz, having senior moments here any chance you can put an arrow?  

Our of the country over 15 years you can't vote.  Luckily only ten for me so my proxy is in. Re. the OP, I shall keep well away from news until Friday 13th - I am terrified of the result.  I hope I shall not need my diazepam.

I'm trying to figure out if somewhere in the above posts, there's a cryptic message replying to my question.

How come this forum says 464 topics in this forum but it is empty and also says   "There are no topics in this forum yet." Where the hell are the topics?

I was wondering if this thread was ever going back on topic. So how many photos have been posted, four?  

A Greek joke on the subject. An angel comes down to Earth and goes around telling people "I grant you a wish but whatever you ask for, your neighbour will get double."  The first place he got to in Greece was a farm.  He asked the farmer the question.  The farmer thought for a minute and replied "Take out one of my eyes."

I'm refering to the fact that it states kB i.e. kilo bytes as above and in the warning it states kb i.e. kilo bits.

My wife had named the three trees "The Three Graces".

OK, let's try again. Thanks @PandaMunich and since you appear to be knowledgeable, do you know if it's 240kb or 240kB?