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Everything posted by hooperski

  1. New words or sayings

    Language is always evolving and each year there are additions. Are there any words or sayings that get on your nerves? Totes, Chillax and Bantz do it for me.
  2. What's got you flummoxed today?

    People who take their dogs for a walk, bag up the shit, then hang it in a tree.  
  3. I've just posted a silly photo

  4. Jokes

    I'm worried about my grandson, he doesn't talk much and has started wearing coconuts on his head. I think he may be a little shy.
  5. Jokes

    Went on a date with a dentist last night, it went so well she doesn't want to see me for six months.
  6. Worst jokes ever

    Just heard about a bloke that steals sweets and sticks them up his arse ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... takes all sorts.
  7. Jokes

    Englishman "Did you hear about the Irishman who ... " Irishman "Hold on, you got duped by a bus".  
  8.   If he looks like an idiot, walks like an idiot, talks like an idiot, then he's probably an idiot.   https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/458198-trump-quotes-right-wing-figure-who-says-israeli-jews-love-him-like   Maybe Trump IS the second coming of God, there are similarities. Demands to be worshipped. Vengeful. Wrathful. Jealous. Moves in mysterious ways, can't drink from a glass or close an umbrella.  
  9. The Vent - No Chat!

      Wouldn't have been a bundle of laughs for the bee either.
  10. Things to ponder

    One good friend of mine here on TT knows the grief and upset I have suffered over the months and years. While preparing breakfast this morning, I heard the song "All you need is love" by The Beatles on the radio. That really hit home, and I thought to myself, it really is that simple. Why do we make life so difficult and painful.
  11. Random pointless comments

    I'm not bothered anyway. I don't like green, never have. Much prefer blue, maybe I'll buy Blueland.    
  12. Taking childish tantrums to a new low ...   https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/20/trump-greenland-denmark-mette-frederiksen   Donald J. Trump ✔ @realDonaldTrump Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our meeting scheduled in two weeks for another time... 12:51 AM - Aug 21, 2019   Absolute fucking dipshit.
  13. I assumed that you had "people" to do those things for you.
  14. Does cutting your toenails count as yoga.
  15. Brexit: The fallout

    Who thinks up these crackpot ideas?   https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/freedom-of-movement-priti-patel-home-office-boris-johnson-a9070566.html    
  16. What made you laugh today?

    Should have hidden the handcuffs tho ...  
  17. Untrue (Alternative) facts

    The War of the Roses happened one Christmas when someone stole the chocolates belonging to Henry VI.
  18. Brexit: The fallout

    Nigel is happy now he's got his passport. (Thought it was going to be blue.) And it's only going to cost £40bn a year.      
  19. Twat of the day

    Sometimes you read an article that just winds you up, this one does it for me and I feel it deserves an award. Have you got nominations for the award. This one is self explanatory.      
  20. Tip of the day

    Liven up the library by simply hiding all the books on anger management.
  21. What made you smile today?

    Christ, look at the time.  
  22. I've just posted a silly photo

    Two highballs please.
  23. What made you smile today?

    And the Oscar for the best dead duck goes to ... ... ...    
  24. Untrue (Alternative) facts

    A stolen chandelier is known as a gondolier.