BonnBonn

thanks, guys. I wasn't there. He was alone. wife (my mom) was at home recovering from an operation. I got a call from her. She said, "I'm on the phone with the hospital and they are asking me about about resuscitation" and then he was gone.    I love my life here in Germany, but fuck...I hate being so far removed.

11 years since I posted this. My daddy is dead. November 18th. I flew back to the US on thanksgiving, listening to the flight attendants on each leg of my flight wishing everyone a happy thanksgiving. Flying during covid...jeez, I've spent "I don't know how long" limiting my outings to protect myself from the virus. Get to the states only to find no one is wearing a mask when out and about.   Pick up the pieces. Try to get mother in an assisted living facility on her meager ss check. Searching for passwords. how to cancel this and that, pay off this and that. Get the house on the market.   Get a booster shot in the middle of the mess and end up heaving my guts out and sick for 2 days.   I'm back now. I feel like a robot.  I wish the fucking dreams about death would just stop.

I was reading Bipa's post about her mom and was instantly transported back in time. My grandma lived to the ripe old age of 101, but it was no picnic. My parents cared for her for the last 16 yrs of her life. For 3 years, I was intimately involved in her care. I watched my parents go through innumerable hardships caring for her. The stress it put on their lives was huge. But I think that the fact that she died quietly at home was a comfort to my parents.   My parents are now free to finish their golden years. I guess my turn is coming up.