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Posts posted by cvm

  1. That does seem expensive. I had a similar experience a couple of years ago, waking in the night with sudden excruciating stomach pains. There was nobody else home at the time so I tottered (literally) round to the local hospital (luckily not far). I was there from about 10.30 pm until dawn and they checked my vitals, took some blood, gave me painkillers and did an ultrasound and some careful prodding. They couldn't find any immediate cause so they told me to go home and sleep it off, which I did (for 2 days!) I was dreading the bill but it actually only came to around EUR 120, most of which was reimbursed by my insurer. Querying the bill sounds like good advice.



  2. My only experience of this kind of situation has been as a volunteer interpreter for various English-speaking acquaintances in exactly your position - it's more common than you might think. My theory is that the substantial state support offered to mothers here and the value that German culture has traditionally placed on motherhood mean that most young German women don't regard an unplanned pregnancy as as much of a problem as it might be in other countries that offer less support (e.g. the US, Australia). One issue that you may run up against with a very young child is that of the "Haupbezugsperson" or child's 'main carer', which is determined by the Jugendamt and is almost always the mother (unless she is seriously and demonstrably incapable of caring for a child). This gives the mother certain rights over the child which may outweigh the father's rights in some cases, although they are also not unlimited rights and can be negotiated and/or contested. SP is right. Your best option is to keep your cool as far as possible, remain on civil terms with the mother and cooperate with the Jugendamt. They deal with cases like yours and worse every single day and I've found them usually pretty good at detecting BS. Good luck!


  3. My experience in dealing with them is that you'll be waiting a good while longer. They don't reply to emails and if you phone them you'll just be put in an endless queue. The only thing to do is keep trying to get them to do something via their wildly misnamed "Kontakt-Formular". Good luck!


  4. Noise cancelling headphones would be my suggestion as well. They may not cancel out all frequencies and every single sound but they sure make a difference. I never fly without 'em :-)


  5. Since your child is so young, the Jugendamt (child welfare authority) and family court will probably designate her mother as her primary carer (Hauptbezugsperson), unless there is any particular reason why she should not be, which means that the mother usually has more time with the child and more rights. This situation will however change as the child gets older. It might be a good idea to get some advice from the Jugendamt as to what your rights and obligations will be in the event of divorce. As hard it as may be, you'll save yourself a world of trouble (and expense and lawyers) if you can keep constructive communication channels with the child's mother open.

    Good luck!