dessa_dangerous

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Posts posted by dessa_dangerous

  1. Posted

    1 hour ago, balticus said:

    Why is it acceptable to criticize Justin Trudeau's used car saleman look and Boris Johnson's ridiculous hair? 

     

    It has already been explained several times over.  If you don't get it, you don't want to get it.

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  2. Posted

    12 hours ago, john g. said:

    and, I have a daughter- wow, she's a woman- how about that? Has studied, does her own thing, won't -take-no-shit from others, looks after herself, still thinks I'm an embarrassing father ( quite rightly ), thought the sea in Amsterdam yesterday was too cold to swim in , and loves make up and looking feminine and is modern. My God, what a sin! 

     

    This charming bit was edited in after I turned off the internet and went to sleep.

     

    First, that's a particularly weak straw man, because no one here said anything *against* a woman looking feminine and loving makeup.  Unlike some people, I support a woman's right to choose for herself how she wants to present herself to the world.  She can wear as much, or as little makeup as she wants.  

     

    Second, how embarrassing to fall into the "I can't possibly be a ________, some of my best friends are _________" trope and pick the two people, of whom the attributes in question you have zero control over.  You're heterosexual, right?  So why are you acting like being with a woman is a choice, even better, a choice that is somehow doing a favor to womankind? :lol: Ditto for your child being born female, please don't act like you're doing us any favors by simply allowing your female child to reach adulthood.

     

    Also, "looking after herself" is well-known code for "making sure she looks appealing to men."  A woman whose face, body, hair or clothes don't fit an acceptable male-approved mold are "letting themselves go", "given up", or in your own words, "[don't] care anymore".  That is all so incredibly paternalistic and insulting.  Oh look, another man is offering his unsolicited opinion about a woman's looks (to help her land a man, which is moot, because she is already married).  How generous of him to lend his totally superfluous input. :rolleyes:

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  3. Posted

    Every time I'm literally only talking about the words that are written here and you launch into novels about your life to convince me you're an OK guy.  You're not listening at all. 

     

    I know you're a decent dude, I don't doubt it for a second, ever.  Sometimes we do, say, and write things that are problematic without realizing it though.  

     

    Just getting defensive and taking it all super personally doesn't make it look like you're trying to understand the point at all.  Even if I don't come for you in any kind of vicious way, even if I don't name you by name, you're defensive, my lady, you're protesting too much.

     

    snowingagain tried to explain the point and your answer was, "My God, what is your issue?"  That seems a bit hostile.  Try to calm down a little.  You're very defensive for a person who believes he has done nothing wrong.  Just saying.

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  4. Posted

    no, snowingagain is right.  Also that taking the piss out of her looks is fine, she's a public figure, and won't read this here.

     

    The point was that the others (men) got to be ugly or unkempt, but Merkel's worth was tied to whether she would be considered sexually attractive.

     

    Or, put differently, she can accomplish more than all of those nincompoops put together over fifty lifetimes, but if she hasn't won the approval of a man, then she shouldn't be too satisfied with herself just yet.  

     

    Women live this every day--not being valid or valuable without the stamp of approval of another person (specifically, a man).  Women who neither need nor seek male approval are considered shrews, harpies, bitches, frigid, spinsters, unprofessional, not to be taken seriously, clowns, not fulfilling their social contract.

     

    I wish I thought you actually grasped what I'm saying here, but I fear I'm wasting my breath, babe.

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  5. Posted

    john, your statement was simply really sexist.  We're taking this terribly well-educated, accomplished, important, influential, powerful woman, a doctor of quantum fucking chemistry, who has achieved all these incredibly huge and impressive things, changed the course of history, helped to shape the modern free world and present day Europe, and your remark is, "well, she's not going to get a date looking like THAT:"

     

    I know you're tired of me fussing at you, but honestly.  This kind of sexism isn't cute or funny.  Save it for your buddies.  I really hate to read it here.

     

    Peace.

    9

  6. Posted

    The friend didn't come from a place where multiple bus lines used the same stops?  The driver will slow down as s/he approaches, all it takes is waving them on their way before they actually come to a stop.  Alert passengers are able to wave the bus driver on early enough that they hardly slow down at all. :) 

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  7. Posted

    Yes.  They really hate being called out on their shit.  It is one thing to lean on the people around you, and it's OK to expect them to just listen.  But when every day they are befallen by new and insurmountable problems, things that most people would find a way over, around, or through, you start to want them to realize that they do in fact have some degree of control over their lives.  But if they were to actually work at finding solutions to the things which plague them, they'd have nothing else to talk about.  No other way of drawing attention to themselves.  Sad really, but you can't let it become a full-time job for you, too.  And when they lose their narcissistic supply (you) they tend to lose their composure.  The mask falls, they're losing control over you.  I wish these people were rarer, these energy suckers.  When they're old we're more likely to give in and be more tolerant, for longer.  But most of them have probably been playing these same games their whole lives.

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  8. Posted

    5 hours ago, optimista said:

    I am sure you will heed this advice for your own good. Just one more thing about the shopping though. Do not do this. Seems so harmless if you are already in the Rewe and doing your own. However, I have seen it get very ugly when previously normal oldies forget to pay the shopper. Or are convinced they did pay when they did not. Unfortunately, this is how it rolls in real life. Anything can happen after 80. Things can go very peculiar, if they weren't already.

     

    This reminds me of a regular customer at a cafe I worked at years ago.  The lady was in the habit of ordering a glass of red wine and paying the check right away.  During her visit she would switch tables a bunch of times, thus changing into a different person's section each time.  For her last check she would put a few glasses on at once and then get up to leave, telling whoever was responsible for the section that she had already paid, and to ask that person over there.

     

    I didn't know this game when I wound up being her last server.  She had money in her wallet, but argued until the cows came home.  Big drama.  No, she didn't pay.  Afterward my colleagues told me that she "always does this."  We had banned people for much cheaper bad behavior but nobody ever did anything about her because she was "old" and "didn't have much money."  She had plenty of cash on her at that moment, in any case.  Just knew what she could get away with it, was a fun game.

     

    1 hour ago, alderhill said:

    It's just especially the pitiable "I should just die already" comments that are hard to deal with. Partially I think experience from a past relationship long ago that was full of that kind of emotional blackmail, I just nowadays have. none. of. it.

     

    Literally the only reason a person says that is to be manipulative.  It doesn't mean they're not actually troubled and depressed--I mean, of course they are, it's far from a normal, healthy thing to do.  But at some point a person is at least partially responsible for how they cope with their mental health issues.  I find that the more reinforcement people get from manipulating others, the more they'll do it.  They begin to think they are actually fooling you.  Or that you are allowing yourself to be manipulated and are therefore complicit.  You're in on it.  So they keep going.  I realize I'm not telling you anything you don't know.  But it can be hard to stay strong sometimes.  A very close relative of mine does this.  At some point I told her, "you've been dying for the past 30 years already" and guess what?  Oooohwee, that made the rounds faster than you could say boo.  Far from the feeble, sorrowful impression she wished to make, she was blazing mad and made sure everyone in the family knew what an unfeeling, ungrateful little bitch I am.  Essentially she was trying to put pressure on me, to be so shamed from all corners of the family that I would eventually take it back..  Aha.  I did not tell her "Na dann" but like you, I was also having. none. of. it.  Basta.

    4

  9. Posted

    3 hours ago, john g. said:

    Merkel- probably doesn't care anymore but if she were looking for a new love in her life- she might need a style consultant.

     

    Merkel's married, so little need for a "new love in her life," and almost certainly doesn't give a rat's ass what john g. from Toytown thinks about her appearance ;) I think she always looks very nicely put together.  I even like her little blazers in their calm autumn tones and she often wears some interesting jewelry, especially her necklaces of asymmetrical polished agate and the like.  I don't know how else you want her to look. She's a Head of State, one of the most powerful people on Earth, not a contestant on The Bachelor, hoping john g. from Toytown might think she looks good enough to take out for an ouzo and a slice of pizza.  For an almost 70-year-old woman with a terrifically arduous, complicated and difficult job she is doing quite all right IMO.  

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  12. Posted

    @pappnase thanks for the edit.  Yes, it's PYUR, they recently sent us some spam about paying for their shit but I didn't pay it much mind.  I have all those channels except the pay ones.  I guess I must have this CI+Module because I have all those channels too.  Just not BBC.  Thanks very much, I think you've solved it!  I guess I need to fiddle around with my receiver again. :) 

    0

  14. Posted

    4 minutes ago, yourkeau said:

    e.g. in REWE they keep the prices a but higher than elsewhere but zero security

     

    definitely not the case in Berlin.  In fact, they have SO much security, they go chasing down innocent people who haven't stolen anything at all.  In recent years this reached my wider circles a couple of times.  And they did not offer apologies or restitution or anything of the sort.  

    2

  15. Posted

    I have heard both of those things about Sky but never really checked them out too much because their format didn't appeal to me.  And of course, on my TV set at home I have both Sky Sports News HD and Sky News Arabia :D but nothing in English.  Conspiracy!  

     

    I do watch the local news in German, actually, most of my news is watched in German, except on weekends, and during the commercials.

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  16. Posted

    17 minutes ago, yourkeau said:

     a government propaganda network (AL Jazeera) 

     

    Do you actually watch Al Jazeera?  I know that they sometimes take a critical view of Israel's policies.  But calling Al-Jazeera English a propaganda network is a bit much.  They often report things the other stations don't pick up.  RT does the same but is very obviously propaganda.  Although I have found them interesting from time to time.

     

    And it's a funny term to throw around.  In general I found both BBC and Al Jazeera to at least *present* in a somewhat professional, objective, journalistic manner.  But for example CNN is too extreme for me.  Even when we're supposed to be on the same "side", they are just too much editorial, speculation, opinion and downright gossip to take seriously anymore.  And they are definitely propaganda.  They talk about Republicans the way FOX talks about everybody else.  That's why nobody takes FOX seriously, because they make themselves look like idiots.  Both are propaganda networks.  But Al-Jazeera, if they were, then they did a good job of concealing it.  They always made a pretty professional impression to me and they reported on interesting things in corners of the world the Western networks don't seem to give much of a shit about.

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  17. Posted

    5 minutes ago, yesterday said:

    BBC is country locked to the UK, almost always, getting the BBC in Germany normally requires  a get a round the checks payment, 

     

    but it may happen, I am not familiar with the cable TV channels

     

    so, I had BBC through my regular cable box for years, and then it was suddenly just gone.

     

    If I really wanted to stream it online I have a VPN, but again, like I said, I also won't go to any great lengths to access it.  It was just nice to have while it was there.  

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  18. Posted

    23 minutes ago, yesterday said:

    Depends on how much you want to spend

     

    Thanks for the suggestions.  I don't want to spend anything.  When I watch shows for entertainment I stream online.  When I am seriously interested in news I usually read it, also online.  The TV news is honestly just a distraction while I'm working out.  I can and do easily replace it with anything else that happens to be on.  If it is a big hassle to chase down either of those stations, I will simply leave it be, I will definitely not pay money to access them and in my free time I don't seek them out either.  But I'll still tune in for GPS.

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  20. Posted

    Thanks.  I just have a regular TV and a newish cable box.  The TV has USB ports but I don't have any Firestick thingies or anything similar.  The cable is connected with a cord to the house cable.  I primarily watch the news during/after working out, so it's not that I don't know how to access the news sources I want online, but it's not very convenient or desired when I'm on the elliptical or on the floor.  I just want to turn on the TV and flip around every once in a while to skip commercials but otherwise not have to put too much thought into it.

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  22. Posted

    Has it happened to anyone else?  First one, then, a few weeks later, the other one.  Is it an evil plot by CNN and EuroNews to get me to watch more of their networks?  Because it's working, and I'm so not happy about it.  The CNN anchors are just way too sassy for me, I realize I have been away from the US for a long time but I could have sworn there was a time when CNN was halfway professional.  Now they basically remind me of FOX News except with a heavy Democratic (but not necessarily leftist) bias.  Fareed is good, I set aside time to watch GPS.  The rest of them truly upset me.  :ph34r: 

     

    Anyway, HALP.  Does anyone know what I can do to get those stations back, or why they have gone, or if they are simply gone forever in Berlin/Germany?

     

    Thanks.

    0

  23. Posted

    On 6/10/2021, 7:59:58, Fietsrad said:

    But I did help an old lady once, she could not reach the top shelf, I reached something down for her.

     

    I have been given this opportunity many times, and it is always my absolute pleasure, especially in Germany, where strangers don't talk to each other much and you're terrified to even speak to people who actually *work* in the frigging store when you need help.  Smaller people, old people, fragile grannies, maybe because I am always looking somehow "aufmerksam" they often ask me to get stuff for them and it makes_my_whole_day.  Hard to explain.  I already enjoy being tall and then sometimes it is even useful for something.  Another thing that makes my day is reading packages for people who either don't read German, or don't read at all, or just forgot their glasses.  People seem to like to ask me for help and they have no idea what it does for me.  In this shitty world, to help a stranger for a second, to be asked for help and be able to help... I dunno.  It's good, very good.

     

    Today I gave someone else the opportunity to help me, and it seemed to do him good, too.  At the stupid Bio-Markt in the mall.  He was just minding his business looking at the smoked tofu (oh barf) and I conscripted him to help me decide whether to try out tempeh.  And in the end I didn't buy it and I thanked him for the consultation and although he was a little taken aback at first when I just started talking to him out of the blue, by the end of it, he honestly looked *so* pleased to have been able to help me.  

     

    Uh, back on topic--we had this one already.  I don't know if proving you spend a lot of money in a place is going to help you.  First, because we've (hopefully) already established that people shoplift all the time with money in their pocket, and they almost always pay for most of their stuff.  But for whatever reason, and there are many, they decide that it would be more fun to steal one thing and pay for the rest.  They think that no one will think they are stealing, because they paid for a cart full of stuff.  So, it's not that "but here's proof I wanted to pay" isn't actually valid in some cases, unfortunately though, it's the exact same MO as actual thieves.

     

    Second, because the point of prosecuting or banning shoplifters is not to let them know they've been bad, evil people, but to deter them from doing it again.  The point is that you did it, even if you didn't mean to do it, obviously somehow you've got to learn to pay more attention.  When I hear that Mike says he can't help it, he's absent-minded, I wonder, how hard can it be, you literally have one job at the store--pay for your shit.  But then I also hear that he left the house in his undies and I think... OK, maybe we have an outlier here :D Hope you never have to find out the hard way!

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  24. Posted

    really?  I wonder if the lawyer had not included his nationality whether anyone would have reacted that way toward him.  If he had just said, "I'm a lawyer, want to talk to other lawyers" we wouldn't be here talking about this now.  But because he wanted to talk to black lawyers and he happens to be from Africa, it's worthy of abuse and suspicion.

     

    Sorry Midge, it's just racist.  There was not a single thing about it that sounded scammy, apart from the all-important word, "Tanzania."  People read that and lost all respect for the post and the poster.  He wants to do some projects with other people.  Not leasing an apartment or selling puppies.  Essentially it was even an offer of employment.  Ohhhkay then.

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